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Red flag?

Posted by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:25 AM
  • 24 Replies

 My stepsis is lesbian and has finally found her "forever" love.She is SSOOO happy...but,we (her family) all think there is a problem.

 Since moving in with this girl we have stopped seeing Tammie.The only time any of us see her is when "Joyce" is at work.Tammie's cell phone"mysteriously" quit working--so,now she can't even text us.When we offer to go visit her and Joyce there is ALWAYS an excuse/reason why we shouldn't.Tammie is a very loving girl and she has always really cared about her family--it is not normal for her to have NO contact with any of us.We are starting to think that Joyce may be beating her or something.Somehow controlling her,kwim?I'll make a list of things that have changed and you guys tell us if we should be worried or are we just paranoid,ok?

1) She has totally stopped talking to us by phone.No texting,no calling..etc.In fact,the last phone call that I got from her she made from a neighbor's phone.How come she didn't use the phone in their apartment?

2) She has stopped agreeing to meet with us ANYWHERE.Out to eat,fishing,the beach.We all used to get together at least 3x a week.Now,we are lucky if we see her once a month.

3)If we are anywhere around Joyce Tammie won't let anybody touch her..not even the kids.And if you happen to accidently bump her Joyce will shoot you this killer look.

 What do you guys think?Of the 3 points above Tammie has always been totally opposite...She would call us 40x a day.She's always been a very "touchy" (she likes to be hugged-lol)person.We are scared for her.



Thought for the day :


 Women are angels and when someone breaks our wings we simply continue to fly...on a broomstick. We are flexible that way.

by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:25 AM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:27 AM

That sounds like a definite worry.  How does the person seem to you when you do come into contact?  My guy's brother was in a relationship where his partner seemed to call all the shots as well. No one could call and talk to him, he never came down to see family, etc.

brandyblx
by Platinum Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:33 AM

  To tell you the truth I don't much like this Joyce...She's been giving me dirty looks since the day I met her.And I know there is something wrong just by the look on Tammie's face when I see her.It seems Joyce is very quietly and systematically removing her from any contact with her family.

Quoting frndlyfn:

That sounds like a definite worry.  How does the person seem to you when you do come into contact?  My guy's brother was in a relationship where his partner seemed to call all the shots as well. No one could call and talk to him, he never came down to see family, etc.


frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 3:35 AM

I am not sure what I can tell you to help.  Sorry.  It may be one of those things your sister needs to learn to grow as painful as it is. 


Quoting brandyblx:

  To tell you the truth I don't much like this Joyce...She's been giving me dirty looks since the day I met her.And I know there is something wrong just by the look on Tammie's face when I see her.It seems Joyce is very quietly and systematically removing her from any contact with her family.

Quoting frndlyfn:

That sounds like a definite worry.  How does the person seem to you when you do come into contact?  My guy's brother was in a relationship where his partner seemed to call all the shots as well. No one could call and talk to him, he never came down to see family, etc.




143myboys9496
by Gold Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 6:38 AM
1 mom liked this

 Sounds like typical abuser behaviors. Unfortunately.

Quoting brandyblx:

  To tell you the truth I don't much like this Joyce...She's been giving me dirty looks since the day I met her.And I know there is something wrong just by the look on Tammie's face when I see her.It seems Joyce is very quietly and systematically removing her from any contact with her family.

Quoting frndlyfn:

That sounds like a definite worry.  How does the person seem to you when you do come into contact?  My guy's brother was in a relationship where his partner seemed to call all the shots as well. No one could call and talk to him, he never came down to see family, etc.


 

veganistic
by Gold Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 7:14 AM
I would definitely be worried! When someone moves in with the "abuser" it's especially hard to leave bc they don't want to look like a failure. Make sure Tammie knows she is wanted back home and always welcome to come back no matter what, so that she isn't rationalizing staying with joyce bc she Needs her.

Quoting brandyblx:

  To tell you the truth I don't much like this Joyce...She's been giving me dirty looks since the day I met her.And I know there is something wrong just by the look on Tammie's face when I see her.It seems Joyce is very quietly and systematically removing her from any contact with her family.

Quoting frndlyfn:

That sounds like a definite worry.  How does the person seem to you when you do come into contact?  My guy's brother was in a relationship where his partner seemed to call all the shots as well. No one could call and talk to him, he never came down to see family, etc.


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NDADanceMom
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 7:25 AM
I'd ask her point blank what was going on and help her make an escape plan even if she said it was fine.
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beadingmom17
by Rachel on Feb. 17, 2013 at 9:02 AM
Sounds like a very unhealthy relationship :(
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Oddy_Knocky
by on Feb. 17, 2013 at 9:04 AM

Yikes. It sounds like she's in a very controlling and manipulative relationship. I think maybe one of you or some of you should gently discuss your concerns. She may not even be aware but if she is, it could be tricky. That sucks. I'm sorry. 

coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:01 AM
Lots of red flags!
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erikadi
by Member on Feb. 17, 2013 at 10:10 AM

I would be too. It sounds like she is an abusive relationship.

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