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Sensitive or insensitive?!

Posted by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:30 AM
  • 11 Replies
My family members meaning my Mom and siblings strangely refer to me as sensitive while so feel the opposite and that they are insensitive. They can't understand why it bothers me that in a year and only living 20 mins away I have seen my Brother and his Wife 1x. I have heard from them once on text and only because it was something to do with them. Not genuinely interested in what's going on with my kids or any of us. I have heard from my Sister 1x. My youngest Brother maybe 1 or 2x. I get no phone calls or contact. I make effort but the same is not given. I stopped calling and texting because I realize myself and their nephews are not a priority. When we moved 6 months ago none of the family offered to help. Infact, my Mother didnt even call for almost a month after to see how her Grandchildren were doing or if we needed help unpacking. My Inlaws (without asking) drove out of state to help us move and they are elderly. My youngest baby had surgery and none of them bothered to be there for support or even to call after to see how he is doing. I finally heard from my Mother for the first time in 3 months tonight and she informs me she was in the hospital last weekend but none of my siblings notified me. They all went to see her yet I never even got a notification of any kind. I wouldn't expect my Mother to but at least one of my three siblings. I'm just almost finding this strangely almost humorous now because I'm thinking wow my Mom could die and no one would call me. I've made every attempt to resolve the situation or even let then know that its probably important to include your sister a little bit but they say I'm sensitive. They all seem to be very self absorbed people. Would anyone find this strange? I stopped chasing after all of them because I'm tired of wasting my energy in people who just don't clearly make you a priority to be included in their lives. I'd like to think I'm pretty level headed in my thoughts about things like this and they claim they are busy but they have time for inlaws and friends so that is just BS. Infact, I'm the only one with kids too and have a hell of ALOT more going on then them. It just amazes me.
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by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:30 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Paperfishies
by Platinum Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:33 AM

My mom lives 3 miles away from me, while she calls me every other day or so, we can go several months at a time without seeing each other.

Diana_B.
by Bronze Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:35 AM
Well I get that but I'm talking about absolutely no effort at all being made. Like you are nonexistent.


Quoting Paperfishies:

My mom lives 3 miles away from me, while she calls me every other day or so, we can go several months at a time without seeing each other.


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frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:36 AM

Were you close growing up? Me and my siblings really werent close growing up due to the lack of family bonding so i am not surprised if i dont hear from them for long times.  Heck I have lived out here for 10 years and have only recieved one card from brother.   I see updates on fb now from 2 of them.  My mom was battling alot of health issues for over 6 months before she told anyone same with my dad.   I hate having things kept from me.  Tell me right away so i can deal and move on.

Diana_B.
by Bronze Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:40 AM
For me, I've now started not even allowing my Mother to see the kids because she plays like she's Grandma one minute and then disappears for quite some time. To me it is a certain level of dysfunction that see's no problem in dropping in and out of children's lives and causes them a great deal of confusion. Also, she uses them. She'll call me out of the blue one day and insist on taking her Grandson to an Xmas party but not because she genuinely wants to spend time with him and cares for him. It was because her boss asked her too and it became a show for her like look at the awesome Grandma I am.


Quoting Paperfishies:

My mom lives 3 miles away from me, while she calls me every other day or so, we can go several months at a time without seeing each other.


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Diana_B.
by Bronze Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 3:41 AM
We were as kids that's why I'm surprised.


Quoting frndlyfn:

Were you close growing up? Me and my siblings really werent close growing up due to the lack of family bonding so i am not surprised if i dont hear from them for long times.  Heck I have lived out here for 10 years and have only recieved one card from brother.   I see updates on fb now from 2 of them.  My mom was battling alot of health issues for over 6 months before she told anyone same with my dad.   I hate having things kept from me.  Tell me right away so i can deal and move on.


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shannzuno
by Member on Feb. 23, 2013 at 4:23 AM
My mom and aunt are like that. Been that way my whole life(and most of theirs) We lived 30min from my aunt for 18 years. I saw her around holidays. Come to find out my mom kept me from her for the first 6/7 a lot. They have always badmouthed each other to me. Ive sided and believed both at different times. But now i see my mom may have a few loose screws, but my aunt is a manipulator. You must play her game, her rules(which she can change as she sees fit). She has showed me the side my mom wanted to keep me from.
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NDADanceMom
by on Feb. 23, 2013 at 7:36 AM
I only see my brother at holidays. He never calls or asks about my kids. It's just his personality. I don't even know his number and he doesn't know mine. We love each other and there is nothing wrong with either of us. It isn't a personal affront that we don't call each other.
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Diana_B.
by Bronze Member on Feb. 24, 2013 at 1:50 AM
Do you think if someone in the family was hospitalized you'd get a call? I guess I'm just family oriented much more than them. My Inlaws are very different too so I compare so much which can be a downfall. My Mother completely missed her youngest Grandson 1st birthday. Infact, its 2 months later and she never even asked about it but she knows it came and went. My Inlaws are great in calling every few weeks to check in, sending the kids cards and/or birthday gifts on their birthdays and even mine, they make time for us and show that they care, and are just very loving supportive people. My Husband doesn't like my family and says they are cold individuals. Like everyone has blank, depressive, cold personalities. He doesn't make it known and is friendly is he ever does see them but he notices the difference in my family and theirs. I really enjoy his family. Perhaps because we have similar morals, values, family oriented, supportive of one another, etc.


Quoting NDADanceMom:

I only see my brother at holidays. He never calls or asks about my kids. It's just his personality. I don't even know his number and he doesn't know mine. We love each other and there is nothing wrong with either of us. It isn't a personal affront that we don't call each other.

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NDADanceMom
by on Feb. 24, 2013 at 8:36 AM
If my mom was in the hospital I'd have no way to tell my brother and he would have no way to tell me. I should probably get his number just in case but I've never had reason to call my brother. I'm guessing if my mom died i would hardly see him again. Weddings and stuff i guess. He is an hvac guy and put in a new furnace for last year, i saw him then but hardly talked to him. You only are hurt because you expect more. Many people aren't close to siblings

Quoting Diana_B.:

Do you think if someone in the family was hospitalized you'd get a call? I guess I'm just family oriented much more than them. My Inlaws are very different too so I compare so much which can be a downfall. My Mother completely missed her youngest Grandson 1st birthday. Infact, its 2 months later and she never even asked about it but she knows it came and went. My Inlaws are great in calling every few weeks to check in, sending the kids cards and/or birthday gifts on their birthdays and even mine, they make time for us and show that they care, and are just very loving supportive people. My Husband doesn't like my family and says they are cold individuals. Like everyone has blank, depressive, cold personalities. He doesn't make it known and is friendly is he ever does see them but he notices the difference in my family and theirs. I really enjoy his family. Perhaps because we have similar morals, values, family oriented, supportive of one another, etc.




Quoting NDADanceMom:

I only see my brother at holidays. He never calls or asks about my kids. It's just his personality. I don't even know his number and he doesn't know mine. We love each other and there is nothing wrong with either of us. It isn't a personal affront that we don't call each other.

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Diana_B.
by Bronze Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 12:42 AM
I'd have to disagree. I see so many are very close with siblings. Infact, just this last weekend I went to a birthday party for friends of ours. It was my friends Son from class and him and his cousin did a combined birthday party that my friends sons Dad footed the entire bill with such a happy heart. His sister is a single Mom and can't afford to throw him a party and since their birthdays are so close they threw one for both of them and he paid for the whole thing. I see this all the time. Not that someone willingly just foots other people's bills but just more so that they do alot of things together and make a point to be together and do things. 98% of my friends families are all the same way. My Husband talks to his brother everyday.


Quoting NDADanceMom:

If my mom was in the hospital I'd have no way to tell my brother and he would have no way to tell me. I should probably get his number just in case but I've never had reason to call my brother. I'm guessing if my mom died i would hardly see him again. Weddings and stuff i guess. He is an hvac guy and put in a new furnace for last year, i saw him then but hardly talked to him. You only are hurt because you expect more. Many people aren't close to siblings



Quoting Diana_B.:

Do you think if someone in the family was hospitalized you'd get a call? I guess I'm just family oriented much more than them. My Inlaws are very different too so I compare so much which can be a downfall. My Mother completely missed her youngest Grandson 1st birthday. Infact, its 2 months later and she never even asked about it but she knows it came and went. My Inlaws are great in calling every few weeks to check in, sending the kids cards and/or birthday gifts on their birthdays and even mine, they make time for us and show that they care, and are just very loving supportive people. My Husband doesn't like my family and says they are cold individuals. Like everyone has blank, depressive, cold personalities. He doesn't make it known and is friendly is he ever does see them but he notices the difference in my family and theirs. I really enjoy his family. Perhaps because we have similar morals, values, family oriented, supportive of one another, etc.






Quoting NDADanceMom:

I only see my brother at holidays. He never calls or asks about my kids. It's just his personality. I don't even know his number and he doesn't know mine. We love each other and there is nothing wrong with either of us. It isn't a personal affront that we don't call each other.


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