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My two year old says "Daddy hurt me" Edit 05/31

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:42 PM
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1 mom liked this

When I had my baby, her father was living me but wasn't at the hospital so he never went on the birth certificate and I haven't had an interest too put him on. He was abusive to me, for years. I decided I had to kick him out, if not for my own safety, then I had to do it for my daughter's safety. He wasn't working and he started using cocaine and was drinking in front of my daughter, I even came home one day and she was covered in alcohol, he left it in his reach and it spilled on her. He looked at porn on my computer while he was supposed to be watching her, and she was always hungry when I came home. He never realized when she was sick. He was never a father to her, he never even tried.

So about a year ago I smartened up kicked him out, but his grandma asked for my dd to still visit, and she always took great care of my daughter, so I said that was okay, and then my ex started living with her, when that happened I told his grandma that she always had to supervise and I didn't want him to ever be alone with her. He never paid child support but I never pushed it because he wasn't on the birth certificate, I allowed my dd over the house once a week for three hours. After this happened I found out she didn't supervise. 

I was giving my dd a bath, and when I gave her body lotion to put on, she usually puts it on her belly, but she put it on her vagina, and I thought that was odd so I asked her why, and she said daddy hurt me with his finger.

 After my dd was born, I found out that my ex's father was in prison for molesting a child, so I had a fear because I've heard it runs in families, I didn't wanna call CPS and be wrong because I am very unsure of myself. So I took her to talk to someone, and she showed them on a doll exactly where daddy hurt her. and then she started saying "daddy hurt me" everytime I changed her diaper.

One morning she said "I was touching my hiney" and I was trying to explain that she isn't supposed to do that, she told me, "my hiney is broken, it has a hole in it. daddy broke it. He took the circle out and put it in my diaper." She doesn't realize that there's supposed to be a hole, she thinks there was a cirlce there.

 I bought her a book called My Body is Private, and read it and explained it and asked if anyone has touched her privates and she told me how daddy did.  So after she said this I stopped allowing her to go over the grandmas house and she has been calling and texting non-stop.

The detective says that she is too young for it to be a criminal case, and the CPS investigator has talked to us and talked to him. and they said she is still allowed over there. CPS has been involved for over a month and just went there for the first time last week. I'm worried because of how manipulative he is. They insist that nothing happened, but it's obvious something did.

I haven't really talked about this, I'm at such a loss of what to do right now. I'm worried about the case being unfounded and then them taking me to court for custody of her because I'm not even answering their messages anymore and I won't allow my dd over.

*Edit* 

To clear things up, I took my dd to the doctor and she said that she couldn't tell if anything did or didn't happen. I could probably supervise the visits, but I'm so mad that I asked her to supervise visits that I'm not even going to do that. She really doesn't ask to go there anymore so I'm just going to keep her away. He has a paternity test, but it isn't done through the courts, I was told it would have to be done again through the courts for it to mean anything. So I have completely stopped contact.

 

Edit***So I posted this a while ago but I got papers from the family court today and I'm stressed. He just filed for paternity.



Edit**** 5/30
So today before court I had an argument with my lawyer. He said he isn't going to help me chase a ghost for what I think happened. I wasn't there so I don't know what happened. I said I didn't need to be there. I know it happened. So he got annoyed and said he wouldn't represent me. The court appointed me a lawyer. She told me that the report concerned her and that he won't be getting unsupervised visits.

 

Edit******

I have been back to court just about every two weeks. April 16, supervised visits were ordered. May 1, I had my interview with supervised visitations, he hadn't even called them yet. He came in with an expensive lawyer, but told the judge he didn't have money for the visits. The judge told him to get moving on it. The judge wanted dd's lawyer to meet her, so we made an appointment for May 6, dd was sick with a stomach virus so he told me to call him on May 8th and we'll set up a new appointment. When I called him, I left a message and then tried calling 2 more times. I didn't get a return call, but then I got sick the rest of the week and it slipped my mind. May 16, The judge was annoyed that dd hadn't met my lawyer and accused me of keeping her from seeing anyone and prolonging things. We made a new appointment for May 22, which she saw the lawyer, but he wouldn't talk to me about it. Dds father did have his interview at EAC (scheduled visits) but he didn't set up an appointment so the judge was annoyed at that. She wanted dd to have a visit with him before the next court date. When I called EAC to set up a visit (because I knew he wouldn't and I wanted to show that I was doing what I was supposed to) They wanted to schedule a visit for May 18, I had class so I said it wouldn't work, they said the next visit wasn't available until June 1 so we set up that appointment. Knowing it was after the court date I called again and asked if there was any way to get one before the court date, I even said that May 18 was okay and I would work something out but then dd's father wouldn't answer or return their calls. They ended up having a cancellation May 22, so we got a visit then.

Yesterday, when we first got into court my ex had an argument with the judge because the judge told him to stop slouching and sit up straight, and he insisted he was, it was ridiculous. And he showed up to court in a sweatshirt and hat. (I know what a winner of a guy, what can I say, I was young.) The report from the EAC visit was sitting on the table so of course while we were in court I was glancing at it. They had parts of it highlighted. The report said that he walked into the playroom and didn't say anything, when dd saw him she said "is that christian" he said yes and asked her for a hug. She gave him a hug and he said "I missed you," her response was "you hurt me, but then mommy fixed me," he responded by saying "interesting".

I didn't get to read any more of the report but whatever was in that report concerned my lawyer. She told me to call her and set up an appointment with her. And my lawyer also told me to go fill out paperwork for sole custody, since we didn't have a custody arrangement.

by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:42 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nonnarae
by Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:44 PM
What a horrible situation! Hugs momma cuz there isn't anything else I can do or say.
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lanceandhailey
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:46 PM

 OMG I'm sorry that's a tough spot to be in :(

Due9
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:48 PM
3 moms liked this
Document everything. I would not allow visitation unless he has a court order. If grandma wants to see her she should come to your house or you stay at hers during their visit. This should not be taken lightly and I think you are handling it good so far.
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kitty8199
by Ruby Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:49 PM
6 moms liked this
Have you taken her to a Dr? They can tell by exam if she's been assaulted. That's enough for criminal.
That's bs that it isn't enough. The detective is just being lazy.
Don't let your dd over again, and don't stop until something is done
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momof3grls4517
by Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:50 PM

I am so sorry that happen to your little girl. I would check with a lawyer about your rights. I wouldn't let her over there either.

shaunaleigh418
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:50 PM
What the fuck?! She's too young for it to be a criminal case?! What is wrong with these people? He's molesting her. Do not let her back over there. How doesn't CPS or the cops see anything wrong with this situation?!
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DKk0531
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:55 PM
They cant take you to court for custody hun. Hes not on the birth cert. He can ask for a dna test to be added to the birth cert...but thats all he can do right now. I wish i could help more. Im so sorry you and dd are going through this. You are doing a good job getting the police and cps involved. *hugs* and hopefully this sicko and his grandma get out of your lives soon
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C8linVilla
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:56 PM
1 mom liked this

doctor needs to be your first step!!! Video camera Needs to be taken as well. Put a camera on her when you change a diaper or give a bath! Every time(if she says nothing you can simply deleted to save space) Go to the police station and File a restraining order as well! Tell them That you will fight This until you die!!! NO age is to young. There is obviously something wrong and at 2 years old she should NOT be talking like that unless something did happen!! Get documents of you taking her to see someone as well! Because if they did nothing that sounds odd to me. I agree it does run in the family as my father and brother both are in prision for it. I would 100% be at the police station until someone took me seriously!

C8linVilla
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 1:57 PM

Also be calling CPS and police every few days to see if there is an update! You want them to know you are serious and you are not going anywhere. 

opinionatedmom
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 2:00 PM

 something is not right. I would refuse visitation and if I go to jail for it so be it.

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