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What kind of consequence for a 7 yr old

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 2:51 PM
  • 11 Replies

Who always loses things? I mean always. He has asperger's and I think he has some disorganized thinking, similar to ADHD. A lot of the same symptoms. Anyway, he lost a rented DS game from the video store. I found it but haven't told him. This is the second video game he lost from the video store. Even though I found it, should I not tell him, let him think it's gone and make him earn the money to pay for it? Not allow him to get anymore video games? Take away the DS ? Something else ? What do you think would best teach him to be more responsible in the futre? 

by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 2:51 PM
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Replies (1-10):
MrsApple
by Gold Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 2:52 PM
1 mom liked this

For one,since this is the second time he's lost a rented game,I would not allow him to rent anymore.Second,I'd make him earn the money to replace it (even though you found it,it's the principal of the matter).

shaunaleigh418
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 2:56 PM
I see how frustrating that can be but I don't understand punishing him for a problem that he has no control over. Maybe try to find ways to help him be more organized.
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ashleigh24
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 2:58 PM
Same here!!

Quoting MrsApple:

For one,since this is the second time he's lost a rented game,I would not allow him to rent anymore.Second,I'd make him earn the money to replace it (even though you found it,it's the principal of the matter).

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mamalusbear
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 3:00 PM

Maybe you can have a set spot in the house for things like video games that need to go back...we have a paper tray by the front door that we put video rentals in so we know where they are when we have to return them


KreatingMe
by Gold Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 3:02 PM


Quoting shaunaleigh418:

I see how frustrating that can be but I don't understand punishing him for a problem that he has no control over. Maybe try to find ways to help him be more organized.

My purpose is to help him not to punish him. I can talk all day long and it doesn't stick. In the case of the DS games, I tell him to use his case, as soon as he takes a game out, put it away. There should only be games in the DS and in the case. It doesn't seem to do any good. Maybe a consequence would make it stick. My intent isn't to upset him but to help him learn the skills he needs.

graycalico
by on Feb. 25, 2013 at 3:03 PM
1 mom liked this
This. You could have a designated gaming spot where he has to play/keep rental games or something. We have a shelf for our library books and my dd no longer misplaces them.

Quoting shaunaleigh418:

I see how frustrating that can be but I don't understand punishing him for a problem that he has no control over. Maybe try to find ways to help him be more organized.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
GaleJ
by Silver Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 3:05 PM

I think it is dishonest to not tell him you found the game. As to consequences I would suggest that you work with him on ways to better deal with his challenges and only then impose consequences if he will not cooperate going forward. Tell him that you will only rent games for him if he works with you and then brainstorm with him how to keep track of the games. Perhaps there should be a basket for all rented and borrowed games and materials and that when the items are not in use they must be in the basket. If he fails to return the item to the basket or again loses a rented game then it is fair to impose consequences. Perhaps loss of the use of the item for not returning it to the basket, having to help with extra chores to make up for any time other family members help to look for the item, and repaying for any that can't be found. 

KreatingMe
by Gold Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 3:11 PM

I like the idea of a designated gaming spot in the house. I'm going to over this with him for a few days. Then start to impose consequences if he doesn't follow the rules. We go to the video store once a week. I'm thinking if he misplaces a game then no game the next weekend.

Quoting GaleJ:

I think it is dishonest to not tell him you found the game. As to consequences I would suggest that you work with him on ways to better deal with his challenges and only then impose consequences if he will not cooperate going forward. Tell him that you will only rent games for him if he works with you and then brainstorm with him how to keep track of the games. Perhaps there should be a basket for all rented and borrowed games and materials and that when the items are not in use they must be in the basket. If he fails to return the item to the basket or again loses a rented game then it is fair to impose consequences. Perhaps loss of the use of the item for not returning it to the basket, having to help with extra chores to make up for any time other family members help to look for the item, and repaying for any that can't be found. 


JulyBabies
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 3:58 PM

I would feel guilty lying to my kid and making them work to replace something that was no longer missing.

I would tell him that I found it but because he couldn't, one week off from game rentals. 

grammarpolice
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2013 at 3:59 PM

How about keeping the rentals in a safe, set spot?

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