How would you feel if they were speaking another language?
If you had guests in your home and they constantly spoke in a different language that you didn't understand. They are able to speak your language and they do talk to you on occasion about very general things like, "is it cold outside today?" And "where should I put this?" (Referring to an item they want to put away but don't know where it goes). Just very general, impersonal things. But they always speak to each other (referring to husband and wife) in their native language. They do it right in front of you. They do it all day. They even whisper to each other at times, right in front of you, in their native language. Would this make you feel left out, uncomfortable since it's your home and you may feel like the stranger, or would you not care? Mind you, they are guests for a few weeks, so you have to deal with this for awhile.
I will probably be in the minority but i would ask them to teach me part of the language so i could participate in the conversation or ask them to please speak english while in my household. Any personaly conversations could take place later at night.
I would feel like its time to invest in Rosetta Stone and surprise them next time they visit especially if you hear them say something negative about you!
Sometimes its just easier and more comfortable for them to speak in their native language and doesnt necessarily mean they are saying something about you but that its easier for them to speak to each other than trying to figure out the words of a language they are not used to using.
Unless, as one poster said, I was instructing children, I wouldn't do what your guests are doing. It's quite rude.
I use to have this often my dh is spanish and it seems from what I have noticed spanish ppl do ths often. I makes me mad and I felt weird and unconfortable. they were usualy not talking about me but it always felt like it.
I did learn to speak spanish so it is not so bad but it still pisses me off.
I think they do it because it is easier for them to communicate the exact point in their language. I know when I speak spanish I think hell I know I can get my point across in english.
It is very rude and frustrating.
WHen my MIL comes she does not speak english and it makes me crazy I just leave the room when dh is home so they can talk away.
If it is a brief visit, I expect that the guests would more be talking to me, in my language.
If it is a longer visit more than a few hours, I would not expect them to speak all the time to each other, in my language. I would not mind if they talked to each other in their language. It's exhausting to try to communicate in English especially if one of the people speaks English less well. It's tiring.
I've been in the situation, where I was visiting with someone who spoke the language of the country less well, and to try to constantly think of a way to say something to them in a more simple way in that language, which was not my first language, it's just tiring, even given that I spoke the other language fairly well. It feels unnatural and tiring.
It's actually common for some people to get paranoid if someone is speaking a different language around them. It's more common when the individual doesn't routinely hear different languages spoken, or hasn't learn another language himself.
It's also common when there is a little resentment from the start about the visit, often simply BECAUSE the guests speak another language. The person just starts with a bad attitude about it and assumes they're talking about him or her. If they start out feeling negative about the person then they just automatically assume they are being 'talked about' cause they start by resenting the person being there.
I agree it is so frustrating. Plus if they do speak english they probably will speak it different then you and not understand what you are saying. lol this is crazy.
Quoting lancet98:
If it is a brief visit, I expect that the guests would more be talking to me, in my language.
If it is a longer visit more than a few hours, I would not expect them to speak all the time to each other, in my language. I would not mind if they talked to each other in their language. It's exhausting to try to communicate in English especially if one of the people speaks English less well. It's tiring.
I've been in the situation, where I was visiting with someone who spoke the language of the country less well, and to try to constantly think of a way to say something to them in a more simple way in that language, which was not my first language, it's just tiring, even given that I spoke the other language fairly well. It feels unnatural and tiring.
It's actually common for some people to get paranoid if someone is speaking a different language around them. It's more common when the individual doesn't routinely hear different languages spoken, or hasn't learn another language himself.
It's also common when there is a little resentment from the start about the visit, often simply BECAUSE the guests speak another language. The person just starts with a bad attitude about it and assumes they're talking about him or her. If they start out feeling negative about the person then they just automatically assume they are being 'talked about' cause they start by resenting the person being there.
have this mother in law......
- Due9
on Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:05 AM