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Are these signs of an abusive relationship?? Please HELP

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:29 PM
  • 18 Replies

My best friend of 20 fucking years met another man while she was still married, yes, she was almost at the verge of a divorce, but still living together with her husband. I always said I’d support her as long as she was happy. So she finally asked her husband to leave and immediately this new guy moves in with her. We start talking less often, and when I call or text her he’d always answer. After 2 weeks of not talking to her -she’s my gym buddy- I got this text at 5:20 in the morning. I don’t see it till I wake up around 6:30.

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This is my best friend. A month ago she told me this new guy had forced her to perform oral sex on him, and she called me crying. She said she   was leaving him for good. She was hysterical. I cried with her and I told her she needed to make a police report, bus she was afraid because she has 3 kids and her divorce is in process and those things could affect her.

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I’m sure he’s forcing her somehow. This man installed a GPS in her truck and convinced her to download the fiend friends app so they could always know where each other were. I warned her once of the warning signs of an abusive relationship but she blew me off saying it was because HE LOVED HER TOO MUCH, and it was KINDA CUTE. 

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At the end, he took the phone and threatened me.

I’m fucking upset. This is NOT a 1 year frienship, this is not a 5, 10, or 15 years friendship. THIS IS A FUCKING 20 YEAR OLD FRIENDSHIP. She knows I’ve been there for her and she was for me when I separated from my husband. I can’t even begin to fathom what could be going through her head to act like that.

Is there something I can do? I can't even get close to her now. IDK what to here. This guy is dangerous. His past two wives left him because of the same reasons. What to do??? 



by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:29 PM
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Replies (1-10):
my4kids274
by Drill Sergeant Mommy on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:42 PM
1 mom liked this

All I can say is she is an adult.  If you call the police they probably will tell you that same thing.  She is an adult and there is nothing they can do. 

He does sound controlling and red flags were going off when I read the texts.  I wish I had more. 

yabbadabba07
by Silver Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:46 PM
Call the police for a welfare check. Can you call her ex and tell him what's going on?
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momofqtees
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:46 PM

Call cps. 

pinkcoffeecup
by Gold Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:51 PM

You could try to call the police. Tell them you are worried. Explain the situation why you feel as you do.  I'd be contacting the Ex letting him know what is up.  Just for the sake of the kids.

michiganmom5150
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:56 PM
It sounds abusive. My ex did everything he could to separate me fri. My friends. My one friend he wouldn't let me be friends with her because she got pregnant out of wedlock and was a 'bad influence'. This is what they do. Isolate their victims so they have no where to go when it all falls apart. So they are trapped. They act living and caring, but manipulate. If he was right there, he made her do it. Do u have any other mutual friends? See if the same thing happened. Keep in mind, the could could be seeing some weird things. Maybe talk to her ex or send an anonymous letter if you don't want to be blamed. That may be the reason she doesn't want you to call the police. There may be other things working against her due to this guy.
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GaBrIeLlEsMaMa
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:56 PM
bump
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happehcrone
by on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:58 PM

 Yeah - what she said.  Definitely sounds as though she's gotten herself into a bad situation but unfortunately she's probably the one who is going to have to ask for help.  He sounds like a complete psycho, not to mention douchebag...


Quoting my4kids274:

All I can say is she is an adult.  If you call the police they probably will tell you that same thing.  She is an adult and there is nothing they can do. 

He does sound controlling and red flags were going off when I read the texts.  I wish I had more. 


 

The_Doodle
by Silver Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 12:59 PM
1 mom liked this

I would call the children's father. If anything, he should keep a close eye on his kids to make sure they are not getting treated poorly.

mommy_2_be_2010
by Platinum Member on Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:01 PM
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iloveoj
by One Step Closer on Feb. 27, 2013 at 1:12 PM

 I didn't post all the textx but the asshole threatened me. I have a kid too, I'm afraid he might retaliate if I do.

Quoting pinkcoffeecup:


You could try to call the police. Tell them you are worried. Explain the situation why you feel as you do.  I'd be contacting the Ex letting him know what is up.  Just for the sake of the kids.



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