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The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Do you put your marriage first or your kids first?

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:29 AM
  • 117 Replies
1 mom liked this

There is this hype about how Giuliana Rancic says she puts her marriage first before her child. Some people think she's being selfish and should put her children first. I happen to agree with her and I put my marriage first. What do you think?

juggling

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:29 AM
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Replies (1-10):
NDADanceMom
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:37 AM
6 moms liked this

my husband and I put the health and welfare of the kids before ourselves but the relationship I put first is the one with my husband.  He is my life long mate and best friend.  We feel its important for the kids to see that they should be treated with honor and respect as a mate.  Their lives, hopes and dreams do not end once you have kids, they need to know what healthy love looks like.  The kids also have the comfort and security of 2 emotionally healthy, happy parents.  We create a stable foundation of our family.  Last week my husband and I went out for breakfast and left the kids at home.  They didnt like it.  Putting the kids first would be to take them with us but we put each other first and wanted that time to talk and enjoy our meal in peace.  Later on that day we took them to see a movie.  The world doesnt have to revolve around our kids in order to give them a great life.  Plus when the kids are grown I am still with my best friend and have stayed close to him as my mate, not just as a co parent. 

flowerfunleah
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:42 AM
5 moms liked this

I put my child before my marriage. I love my husband but if he died, I could live, if Dd died, I couldnt.

momdoes
by Platinum Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:47 AM
6 moms liked this

Marriage first......all the way! I was married before kids, I will be married after they are grown. My kids are their own person.

MsRkg
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:48 AM
5 moms liked this

Marriage first 100% and then my son. If my marriage isn't strong, then the home isn't strong , and that's just not  good for children.

AleaKat
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:49 AM
It's kind of a "what came first? The chicken or the egg" question.

A good foundation makes for happy children but at the same time if things go south in the marriage I want what's best for my kids.
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SpnFulOfSugar
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:50 AM
3 moms liked this
My marriage is the basis of my family.
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goddess99
by Michelle on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:50 AM

My dd comes 1st in my life.

lapcounter
by Super Mom on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:51 AM


Quoting momdoes:

Marriage first......all the way! I was married before kids, I will be married after they are grown. My kids are their own person.

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mysticalmalissa
by Malissa on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:51 AM
2 moms liked this

I did with my first marriage.....notice I said first one.

I have since learned husbands are replaceable, your children (flesh and blood) arent.


SnapIt
by Movin' on up on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:53 AM
5 moms liked this
Im a spouse first kind of person
They are the ones you started out with
Your children are a connection to that person
If you arent a strong bond together, the family falls apart
You need that bond with your spouse to keep it together
Your children do not make that bond for you and the spouse

Too many couple disconnect from their spouses and give their all to the children. That can leave the other feeling neglected
The other may never say anthing either. They will stay quiet and live unhappy because they arent getting the attention they should be as a spouse, a lover, a partner
Kids cannot fill that void of pleasure 2 people should have for one another
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