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What do GAL's look for the most? UPDATE

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:26 PM
  • 43 Replies

We have a Guardian Ad Litem coming to our house this week. Our house is very clean, we have food, DSD has plently of clothes and toys, she has a swingset outside. But we are still very nervous because we have never been in this situation. So can you please tell me what they are looking for the most when they come over.

UPDATE: The GAL just left our house. She stayed about an hour. She was very nice, but she didnt do very much. She didnt look around the house except for DSD's room. She didnt talk to DSD except to say hi and ask what she likes to do. She didnt look to make sure we have food. She didnt look at DSD's clothes to be sure that she had some. We didnt fill out any paper work and she didnt ask about discipline. Now I'm more nervous then when I started. All she did was talk to dad for a little bit, then talk to me a little bit.

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:26 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ittyprincess604
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:28 PM
Sorry i don't even know what that is, bump!
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WeddingBelles
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:34 PM

 


Quoting ittyprincess604:

Sorry i don't even know what that is, bump!


 It's an attorney for children who are too young to testify for themselves. We have a custody hearing coming up so they have assigned a GAL to check out both parent's houses and stuff like that. I didnt know what it was until a couple weeks ago. lol.

white_wolf454
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:35 PM

If you mean like CPS then if the house is dirty , what food is any food is there , whats the condision of you children are they under fed or dirty with bruises . if you may have anything that be dangerous to children 

ittyprincess604
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:37 PM
Well in that case, I'd assume the stuff they would check would be what you listed. Put up extra projects on the fridge or something lol

Quoting WeddingBelles:

 




Quoting ittyprincess604:

Sorry i don't even know what that is, bump!



 It's an attorney for children who are too young to testify for themselves. We have a custody hearing coming up so they have assigned a GAL to check out both parent's houses and stuff like that. I didnt know what it was until a couple weeks ago. lol.

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Mommy4-27-08
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 8:55 PM
Will you have the child there at the time of the visit? They will most likely be looking at your relationship with the child and how you all interact. Also whether you have enough space for the child and those kinds of things. Just be yourselves and make sure your house doesn't look too clean, I mean you want it to look lived in and kid friendly but not trashed or dirty. Does that make sense?
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WeddingBelles
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 9:01 PM

 


Quoting Mommy4-27-08:

Will you have the child there at the time of the visit? They will most likely be looking at your relationship with the child and how you all interact. Also whether you have enough space for the child and those kinds of things. Just be yourselves and make sure your house doesn't look too clean, I mean you want it to look lived in and kid friendly but not trashed or dirty. Does that make sense?


 The child will be with us at the visit, the BM's visitation has been suspended due to drugs. Our house isnt very big but she has her own room and her room is pretty big. We have a 3 bedroom house, a bathroom, laundry room, kitchen, and living room. Its not huge but its clean. My mom said the same thing about not being too clean. DSD gets pretty nervous around people she doesnt know so Im hoping that she will talk to her and not be too shy.

TJandKarasMom
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 9:05 PM

We had one for my SD...she spoke with DH and me, we shared our custody info with her.  We had prepared a timeline (mostly for ourselves to keep it all straight) of facts and gave her a copy when she asked if she could see it.  We gave her any court papers she asked for.  We showed her around our home, explained our homelife, SDs daily routine with us, etc.  We shared her school info (the judge had her going to two schools in Kindergarten, it was absurd) we talked about my custody arrangement with my DS and his BF and how it would affect DS/SDs relationship if we didn't get what we were asking the court for (primary custody, and her to see her BM every weekened and all vacations, 50/50 in the summer). 

We allowed her time alone with SD, they played barbies.  She visited both schools and then visited BMs home as well.

Our kids shared a room at the time (DS was 6, SD 5) and we thought that could be an issue, but it wasn't.  They had lots of space and their own space.  The GAL ended up recommending DH get primary custody.  Our house is older, but we have a couple acres of land with a big back yard in a great neighborhood, good school district.  We knew the teachers from the school because my DS went there the year before. 

I think they just look at your willingness to put the child's best interests first.  Good luck, try to relax about it and just be open with her.  Make sure she knows you both are available for any questions any time.  We also had filled out a form she gave us with references and answering some questions about parenting and about SD, I think that helped her as well.

WeddingBelles
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 9:13 PM

Thank you for sharing that with me. We are just nervous because we know that she is coming here to judge us and our house. But hopefully DSD will talk to her and tell her everything that she has told us about why she doesnt want to go back to BM's house. Will the GAL be interested in pictures of scratches and bruises of when she returned from BMS house?

alexis_06
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 9:18 PM

 i've never had to go thru that, but i just wanted to wish you good luck  :)  let us know how it goes!!

WeddingBelles
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 9:21 PM

 


Quoting alexis_06:

 i've never had to go thru that, but i just wanted to wish you good luck  :)  let us know how it goes!!


 Thank you! She will be coming later in the week, then court is next friday! We are super nervous but are trying to stay busy so we dont have time to be nervous. I will post about what happens after court next week!

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