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Would this make you uncomfortable as well? *Update*

Posted by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:49 PM
  • 48 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Is it overstepping to require this information before leaving her alone with my children?

Options:

Yes, it is none of your business

No, these are your kids were talking about!


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 68

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My kids dad and me have been split up for almost three years. We still get along great and we even hang out with our kids and significant others on occasion. Since we split he has had many female friends but none have turned into relationships. He has now started dating a new girl whom I loved when we met and still love now. She is great with our kids (of what I have seen obviously) and seems really nice. BUT...

She does not  have custody of her child. She lost custody a few years ago and the child lives with the paternal grandparents. That is about all of the story I know. When I asked about it he said her and her baby daddy did something stupid, but that it was mostly his fault.... I have suspicions that it was drug related because of a past history that he mentioned awhile ago about her(before they were dating, like a year ago). Like I said, were close and we talk a lot. He knows a lot about my relationship and the fact that he isn't telling me makes me think it is something pretty bad...

Am I overstepping to say I need to know this information before he leaves my kids alone with her? He only has them every other weekend so I doubt she would spend time alone with them much anyways, but still. Also her child is a few months younger than my oldest in case that makes a difference. Thoughts anyone?

 

UPDATE:

So the relationship lasted a little over two weeks so I don't have to worry about it anymore, but now that they are no longer together I got a little more of the story. Her son is autistic for starters which is why they don't want to just move him in with her. She "used" to be a heroin addict and her and the baby's father got pretty heavy into it to a point they were doing it around the kid and even taking the kid with the to get the drugs. They also would sleep in their car with the child after coming down from the drug.

This supposedly happened around 2 years to 18 months ago. Do you think he made the right call in not telling me or do you think that piece of information is important?

by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:49 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Kylie819
by Emerald Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:51 PM
3 moms liked this
If she is something so serious she lost custody of her child I would DEFINITELY want to know what it was. Why would I trust her around my child when she couldn't even be trusted to properly care for her own child?
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BoxxyBabee
by on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:51 PM
A woman offered to babysit for me and I refused because she lost custody of her 2 kids
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Mommy4-27-08
by Bronze Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 10:53 PM

 


Quoting Kylie819:

If she is something so serious she lost custody of her child I would DEFINITELY want to know what it was. Why would I trust her around my child when she couldn't even be trusted to properly care for her own child?


 This is kind of how I feel! He says that is wasn't her fault but I feel like for you to lose custody it has to be something pretty major! She also keeps saying that she is trying to get him back but it won't be until not this coming summer, but next... Why would it take her 18 months to get him back?!

mom_dl6
by Platinum Member on Mar. 4, 2013 at 11:30 PM
2 moms liked this

OK if she is good to YOUR child step back and accept she made a mistake (whatever it was) and move on everyone deserves a second chance,Now if she fucks that up with your child then you deal with it...But do not turn a tiny ant hill into a MOUNTAIN if NOT NEEDED !!

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by Emerald Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:12 AM

I think you should know,
If your kids are going to be around her & she lost custody of hers .. pretty scary stuff .. mho :)

Junebaby18
by Bronze Member on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:33 AM
1 mom liked this
I don't have custody of my two older kids, but that was because my ex lied and had my older son and my ex's cousin lie to get them taken away from me. I have never hurt any of my kids, the ones I don't have or the one I currently do have.

I still think you should know what happened since your children are around her, but don't blow it out of proportion. Find out the facts first.
bnkirk24
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:42 AM
1 mom liked this

If i were you i would want to know honestly... You dont know what her past is. I just found out that my SIL ex boyfriend who she is still good friends with is a sex offender x 2. This guy was staying right next door to me and i didnt even know it and she was letting this guy around her own kids. I would never let my kids be alone with anyone until i know there background after that. 

Paperfishies
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 12:49 AM
2 moms liked this

Not at all.  And as a matter of fact, I would contact my attorney and get a restraining order against this woman for my children.  If she doesn't give a damn about her own child, do you actually think she cares about yours?

crazymom21
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 1:27 AM
1 mom liked this
You have every right to protect your children. What if she hurts your children and you could have prevented it. First step is finding out why she lost custody and hasn't regained it.
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Diana_B.
by on Mar. 5, 2013 at 1:51 AM
1 mom liked this
If a court has found her not responsible enough to have custody of her own children then she is not responsible enough to be left alone with any child.
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