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need help with my husband caring for baby!!

Posted by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 9:39 PM
  • 13 Replies

so i am a new mom with a baby girl...she will be 9 weeks tomorrow.  i am stressed out all the time b/c i feel like my husband doesnt put in any time to help.  he does a little but not enough to lighten the load.  i go back to work april 1st and am really worried that i will not get anymore help.  whenever i bring this up to my husband we argue.  i am getting to be really resentful towards him and bitter.  HELP

by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 9:39 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ccmvm
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 9:57 PM
1 mom liked this

split up tasks. my husband gave all the baths and since i nursed 100% he was in charge of all night time diaper changes. this helped a ton for evening/nights considering i had the baby all during the day being a sahm. but yea...make certain tasks specifically his job to do, not only will that help you, but also strengthens their bond.

CoviD79
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:27 PM

We're going through the same thing with our 10 day old dd.  Splitting up tasks works well for us.  Dad may be a little hesitant in handling the baby at this age (at least tht was our issue).  Sometimes thy feel like mom is best at this fragile stage.  Hang in there.

boys2men2soon
by Silver Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:28 PM
2 moms liked this

Do you want him to help more with household chores or the baby?      If you need help with the baby, then hand her to him when he comes home from work (give him 30 minutes to unwind) and walk away.   Go to the grocery store, do laundry, whatever you need to do.

If you need help around the house:   Give him a written list of what you need him to do.   If he refuses to comply, explain that you can't do it all and won't..... and don't.   Let him make his own meals, do his own laundry and run his own errands.  It will relieve you of some stress.

This is a learning curve for both of you.   You are hormonal, sleep deprived and most likely apprehensive about going back to work and leaving your new bundle of joy.... all of which is understandable.




coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:30 PM
1 mom liked this
My thoughts exactly.

Quoting boys2men2soon:

Do you want him to help more with household chores or the baby?      If you need help with the baby, then hand her to him when he comes home from work (give him 30 minutes to unwind) and walk away.   Go to the grocery store, do laundry, whatever you need to do.

If you need help around the house:   Give him a written list of what you need him to do.   If he refuses to comply, explain that you can't do it all and won't..... and don't.   Let him make his own meals, do his own laundry and run his own errands.  It will relieve you of some stress.

This is a learning curve for both of you.   You are hormonal, sleep deprived and most likely apprehensive about going back to work and leaving your new bundle of joy.... all of which is understandable.

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inspain
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:35 PM

DH is better at the new baby thing than I am.  My only advantage has been having boobs.  

I hope things improve soon for you.  Keep communicating your needs and your desire to have him share responsibilities and don't just stew or give up.  If things don't change soon, consider seeking help for your relationship.  Parenting is harder if you're not both on the same page and able to work together. 

laden_mom
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:47 PM
Hello my son is almost 6 weeks , how do u split tasks when baby dont want to b with daddy, its all on me we don't even sleep in the same room cus my s/o gets up early for work
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calsmom62
by Silver Member on Mar. 7, 2013 at 10:58 PM
Then let him do the housework.
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RADmomma
by on Mar. 7, 2013 at 11:09 PM
I'm a sahm with a 3 month old & a 5 yr old. When our first was born DH didn't help. I finally realized that she scared him. She was tiny compared to him & he was afraid to hurt her. I have him more household stuff & slowly added more baby time, while also seeing that I needed more patience with him. By 4 months or so he was alot more comfortable with her, we had a flexible routine & some of that new parent stress was going away.

Talking calmly & clearly explaining myself went a long way. Guys are not good at reading our hints. Sometimes you literally have to spell it out for them.
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by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 12:13 AM

Congratulation on your new baby girl,
I like the idea of spliting up tasks with your hubby.
It is an ajustment for you both which I am sure you are aware of.
Keep trying to talk to him when you can & remind him that you are a team
Good luck & let us know how it goes ;)

starlight91
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 7:57 AM

Congrats, take off for a day, let him deal with all you deal with for 1 day, he will help more ...

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