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When your own mother back stabs you..

Posted by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:19 PM
  • 17 Replies

Let's go back 8 years, I was a sixteen year old mom with another baby on the way. Realistically, I knew I wansn't going to be able to provide for two children holding a full time job at Target. My mom jumped in to take my second child as her own. We agreed since she wouldn't allow me to give her up for adoption, that she would be the "mother" and I would just be a "sister" in her life occasionally when I cam around. I signed over gaurdianship and went on with my life. 

Time went on I was with my so 3 years thinking it would last forever. We had a child when I was 21. We broke up a little over a year later. He decided to leave us for the nanny(not that that's relevant). Now he wants full custody and to let me have some parent time. The other day he made a comment about my mom and if I've talked to her. No I havent talked to her in months. 

Well, after having a conversation with my grandma today it's all piecing together why he'd ask.... 

My mom had a hearing for some part of that gaurdianship I guess last week. She didn't go and now has a warrant for her arrest-or had. She works for the court house, so naturally she was pissed. She went in to clear it up and told them that they need to focus on the two kids I have because they are the ones in an unstable home. She called my grandma and told her that my ex told her that I was stupid for not being able to afford my lawyer because he was going to tell the court that I'm an unfit mother because my four year old doesn't know all his letters of the alphabet (he only knows 75%, but seriously?)  I went and vented to my grandpa who told me that my mom and ex are meeting occasionally at her house. 

My thought would be that she no longer wants the kid I wanted to give up for adoption and as some sort of retaliation is trying to get my other children taken from me. Let's get real I'm a single mom so no my kids don't have everything their little heart desires. Yeah, they probably have three jeans they live in and out of that I have to wash constantly. I wouldn't say that makes me an unfit mother. I love my kids with all my heart and I do everything and anything that I can for them. My mom knows that. So, why she's teaming up with my ex is beyond me.

The whole court situation has me so rattled. I've raised my son almost two years not without have to share him (because his dad didn't care to see him but on holidays). So, I'm freaking out at the thought of not having him with me all the time. Knowing my mom is in on it too now, I just feel sick.  

I guess she was saying that now CPS is involved. That's fine with me, I have no problem opening my life and home up to them. It's just the drama that is being caused so close to the hearing (in April) that upsets me.I'm just so angry I feel like I should do something. Like I should come up with something back to get her. The little voice inside me tells me it's immature and wrong but honestly what else can I do? Sit and wait while her and my ex try to tear my world apart? I've HEARD that she is taking more anxiety meds than what she is prescribed lately from her 27 year old boyfriend's mom. I feel like not only telling CPS but her employer. 

Then there's that small voice of reason asking how could my mom really do this to me? Like my own mother? The mom I used to eat lunch with everyday. Sure we never got along until I hit maybe 20, but I cannot imagine doing something like this to y daughter. I'm just stuck. I have no idea what to do. 

by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:19 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Aamy
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:27 PM


Quoting .miss.mommy.:

Let's go back 8 years, I was a sixteen year old mom with another baby on the way. Realistically, I knew I wansn't going to be able to provide for two children holding a full time job at Target. My mom jumped in to take my second child as her own. We agreed since she wouldn't allow me to give her up for adoption, that she would be the "mother" and I would just be a "sister" in her life occasionally when I cam around. I signed over gaurdianship and went on with my life. 

Time went on I was with my so 3 years thinking it would last forever. We had a child when I was 21. We broke up a little over a year later. He decided to leave us for the nanny(not that that's relevant). Now he wants full custody and to let me have some parent time. The other day he made a comment about my mom and if I've talked to her. No I havent talked to her in months. 

Well, after having a conversation with my grandma today it's all piecing together why he'd ask.... 

My mom had a hearing for some part of that gaurdianship I guess last week. She didn't go and now has a warrant for her arrest-or had. She works for the court house, so naturally she was pissed. She went in to clear it up and told them that they need to focus on the two kids I have because they are the ones in an unstable home. She called my grandma and told her that my ex told her that I was stupid for not being able to afford my lawyer because he was going to tell the court that I'm an unfit mother because my four year old doesn't know all his letters of the alphabet (he only knows 75%, but seriously?)  I went and vented to my grandpa who told me that my mom and ex are meeting occasionally at her house. 

My thought would be that she no longer wants the kid I wanted to give up for adoption and as some sort of retaliation is trying to get my other children taken from me. Let's get real I'm a single mom so no my kids don't have everything their little heart desires. Yeah, they probably have three jeans they live in and out of that I have to wash constantly. I wouldn't say that makes me an unfit mother. I love my kids with all my heart and I do everything and anything that I can for them. My mom knows that. So, why she's teaming up with my ex is beyond me.

The whole court situation has me so rattled. I've raised my son almost two years not without have to share him (because his dad didn't care to see him but on holidays). So, I'm freaking out at the thought of not having him with me all the time. Knowing my mom is in on it too now, I just feel sick.  

I guess she was saying that now CPS is involved. That's fine with me, I have no problem opening my life and home up to them. It's just the drama that is being caused so close to the hearing (in April) that upsets me.I'm just so angry I feel like I should do something. Like I should come up with something back to get her. The little voice inside me tells me it's immature and wrong but honestly what else can I do? Sit and wait while her and my ex try to tear my world apart? I've HEARD that she is taking more anxiety meds than what she is prescribed lately from her 27 year old boyfriend's mom. I feel like not only telling CPS but her employer. 

Then there's that small voice of reason asking how could my mom really do this to me? Like my own mother? The mom I used to eat lunch with everyday. Sure we never got along until I hit maybe 20, but I cannot imagine doing something like this to y daughter. I'm just stuck. I have no idea what to do. 

Good will sells pants cheap, $4. for jeans your kids need more then 3 pairs of pants. 



frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:29 PM

Get a lawyer and fight whatever they are up to.  Good luck.

sashamom27159
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:42 PM
1 mom liked this
They do not need more pants all they need is a roof over there head, food, water ,love and support


Quoting Aamy:


Quoting .miss.mommy.:

Let's go back 8 years, I was a sixteen year old mom with another baby on the way. Realistically, I knew I wansn't going to be able to provide for two children holding a full time job at Target. My mom jumped in to take my second child as her own. We agreed since she wouldn't allow me to give her up for adoption, that she would be the "mother" and I would just be a "sister" in her life occasionally when I cam around. I signed over gaurdianship and went on with my life. 

Time went on I was with my so 3 years thinking it would last forever. We had a child when I was 21. We broke up a little over a year later. He decided to leave us for the nanny(not that that's relevant). Now he wants full custody and to let me have some parent time. The other day he made a comment about my mom and if I've talked to her. No I havent talked to her in months. 

Well, after having a conversation with my grandma today it's all piecing together why he'd ask.... 

My mom had a hearing for some part of that gaurdianship I guess last week. She didn't go and now has a warrant for her arrest-or had. She works for the court house, so naturally she was pissed. She went in to clear it up and told them that they need to focus on the two kids I have because they are the ones in an unstable home. She called my grandma and told her that my ex told her that I was stupid for not being able to afford my lawyer because he was going to tell the court that I'm an unfit mother because my four year old doesn't know all his letters of the alphabet (he only knows 75%, but seriously?)  I went and vented to my grandpa who told me that my mom and ex are meeting occasionally at her house. 

My thought would be that she no longer wants the kid I wanted to give up for adoption and as some sort of retaliation is trying to get my other children taken from me. Let's get real I'm a single mom so no my kids don't have everything their little heart desires. Yeah, they probably have three jeans they live in and out of that I have to wash constantly. I wouldn't say that makes me an unfit mother. I love my kids with all my heart and I do everything and anything that I can for them. My mom knows that. So, why she's teaming up with my ex is beyond me.

The whole court situation has me so rattled. I've raised my son almost two years not without have to share him (because his dad didn't care to see him but on holidays). So, I'm freaking out at the thought of not having him with me all the time. Knowing my mom is in on it too now, I just feel sick.  

I guess she was saying that now CPS is involved. That's fine with me, I have no problem opening my life and home up to them. It's just the drama that is being caused so close to the hearing (in April) that upsets me.I'm just so angry I feel like I should do something. Like I should come up with something back to get her. The little voice inside me tells me it's immature and wrong but honestly what else can I do? Sit and wait while her and my ex try to tear my world apart? I've HEARD that she is taking more anxiety meds than what she is prescribed lately from her 27 year old boyfriend's mom. I feel like not only telling CPS but her employer. 

Then there's that small voice of reason asking how could my mom really do this to me? Like my own mother? The mom I used to eat lunch with everyday. Sure we never got along until I hit maybe 20, but I cannot imagine doing something like this to y daughter. I'm just stuck. I have no idea what to do. 

Good will sells pants cheap, $4. for jeans your kids need more then 3 pairs of pants. 


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
NDADanceMom
by on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:51 PM
Well that sounds like a mess all around. Not sure what to say. Hope you have a plan to make things better.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
mommykc
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 9:53 PM
I don't know where u live at but if u r close to me I would give u some of my son's clothes that he can't wear anymore.
Your kids will love u no matter what anyone says about u. In your kids eyes u do no wrong. Your ex and your mom needs to get a life of their own. As long as your kids has food on the table for them, a roof over their heads, and a bed to sleep in and a few clothes well at least they got that.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Aamy
by Ruby Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 10:12 PM


Quoting sashamom27159:

They do not need more pants all they need is a roof over there head, food, water ,love and support


Quoting Aamy:


Quoting .miss.mommy.:

Let's go back 8 years, I was a sixteen year old mom with another baby on the way. Realistically, I knew I wansn't going to be able to provide for two children holding a full time job at Target. My mom jumped in to take my second child as her own. We agreed since she wouldn't allow me to give her up for adoption, that she would be the "mother" and I would just be a "sister" in her life occasionally when I cam around. I signed over gaurdianship and went on with my life. 

Time went on I was with my so 3 years thinking it would last forever. We had a child when I was 21. We broke up a little over a year later. He decided to leave us for the nanny(not that that's relevant). Now he wants full custody and to let me have some parent time. The other day he made a comment about my mom and if I've talked to her. No I havent talked to her in months. 

Well, after having a conversation with my grandma today it's all piecing together why he'd ask.... 

My mom had a hearing for some part of that gaurdianship I guess last week. She didn't go and now has a warrant for her arrest-or had. She works for the court house, so naturally she was pissed. She went in to clear it up and told them that they need to focus on the two kids I have because they are the ones in an unstable home. She called my grandma and told her that my ex told her that I was stupid for not being able to afford my lawyer because he was going to tell the court that I'm an unfit mother because my four year old doesn't know all his letters of the alphabet (he only knows 75%, but seriously?)  I went and vented to my grandpa who told me that my mom and ex are meeting occasionally at her house. 

My thought would be that she no longer wants the kid I wanted to give up for adoption and as some sort of retaliation is trying to get my other children taken from me. Let's get real I'm a single mom so no my kids don't have everything their little heart desires. Yeah, they probably have three jeans they live in and out of that I have to wash constantly. I wouldn't say that makes me an unfit mother. I love my kids with all my heart and I do everything and anything that I can for them. My mom knows that. So, why she's teaming up with my ex is beyond me.

The whole court situation has me so rattled. I've raised my son almost two years not without have to share him (because his dad didn't care to see him but on holidays). So, I'm freaking out at the thought of not having him with me all the time. Knowing my mom is in on it too now, I just feel sick.  

I guess she was saying that now CPS is involved. That's fine with me, I have no problem opening my life and home up to them. It's just the drama that is being caused so close to the hearing (in April) that upsets me.I'm just so angry I feel like I should do something. Like I should come up with something back to get her. The little voice inside me tells me it's immature and wrong but honestly what else can I do? Sit and wait while her and my ex try to tear my world apart? I've HEARD that she is taking more anxiety meds than what she is prescribed lately from her 27 year old boyfriend's mom. I feel like not only telling CPS but her employer. 

Then there's that small voice of reason asking how could my mom really do this to me? Like my own mother? The mom I used to eat lunch with everyday. Sure we never got along until I hit maybe 20, but I cannot imagine doing something like this to y daughter. I'm just stuck. I have no idea what to do. 

Good will sells pants cheap, $4. for jeans your kids need more then 3 pairs of pants. 


What ever. Not my issue of wasting water, and soap, and putting extra wear and tear on the few pairs of pants. Was just saying. 



mummaluvshrbbs6
by Bronze Member on Mar. 8, 2013 at 11:27 PM

Fight back momma and not to try and get in your business but post the little ones sizes like another momma said theres alot of us with little ones that grow out of things. I know I would rather ship clothes to someone that needs them than to throw them out. Hugs dear and stay strong!

.miss.mommy.
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:03 AM
Awe haha you brought me to years. I wasn't looking for a hand out or anything.. Just venting I guess. Thank you, you're so sweet! Ds is size 5 dd is a 10. If those are the sizes you have I'm sure I can come up with something in exchange..

Lol I guess three pairs isn't enough? I thought it was ok... But I'm open to whatever suggestions even if it means scraping up something for more clothes. :)


Quoting mummaluvshrbbs6:

Fight back momma and not to try and get in your business but post the little ones sizes like another momma said theres alot of us with little ones that grow out of things. I know I would rather ship clothes to someone that needs them than to throw them out. Hugs dear and stay strong!


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Schauseil
by Bronze Member on Mar. 9, 2013 at 12:54 AM
1 mom liked this

You don't sound responsible or an extremely "fit" mother. Should your entire parental rights be terminated, of course not. But if you can not provide for your kids then you shouldn't be the main parent, its not what is  best for the kids.

SissyAnn141
by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 1:07 AM
2 moms liked this

 

       If you want your kids, Call the "Victim Advocate" at the Court-House"

 and speak with them, bring all proof you have had them all this time 2 or 3 years.

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