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Really? How can they expect this of me?

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I may get bashed for this but I want to know honest opinions. My brothers daughter is in foster care. She is 3 about the same age as my son. But she was born addicted to drugs and due to her moms drug use is very far behind. She can not talk, walk or feed herself. She can barely sit up without assistance and not for long periods of time. I am the only one in the family that cps will give her to. She is currently with a foster family that said they would eventually like to adopt her. They love her and are very good with her. My family is calling me selfish because I will not take her and raise her till my brother can get her back (at this point that won't be soon since he is still using). I just feel like with her disabilities it wouldn't be fair to my family,my life, my son, and her because of my schedules. I do love her! I know I could do it if I wanted but feel she is with a family that loves her. We are also ttc so I feel I dont want the extra stress. What would you do?
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by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 9:05 PM
Replies (11-20):
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:19 AM
I would do what is best for the child. You seem to be doing that and that is what matters. It would be selfish to take her to make others happy.
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by Sapphire Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 12:23 AM

Let her stay with the family that she is with,
Don't let your family make you feel guilty ..
You have your own kids to worry about about.
Good luck & do let us know what happens ;)

by Amanda on Mar. 10, 2013 at 2:43 PM

 How long has she been with the Foster family?  If she is behind and she is already adjusted to them, I would leave her.  I do not think you being selfish.  The best choice is one where she will be able to stick with her schedule.  It is not her fault her parents are worthless.  Why are your other family members not trying to help her, besides making you feel guilty?  Good Luck!

by Amanda on Mar. 10, 2013 at 2:44 PM

group hug 

by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:17 PM

You're not being selfish; your family is. You're just expressing what you know is beyond your limits.

by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:19 PM
Let her stay where she is. I'd do it for my family though. That's just how we are
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by Taco Bell Princess on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:20 PM
Blood doesn't make a family. They love and care for her. They are her family now.
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by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:21 PM

Uhhhhhh........sorry, but it seems like they lost the right to judge you when their drug use caused their child to have multiple birth defects and be taken from them. They're the selfish ones, not you.

by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:23 PM

Quoting notjstasocermom:

I would let her stay with the family she is with

by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 4:23 PM

why the hell don't "they" take her and raise her? Seems to me, if they are calling you selfish, you're not the only one. Is "they" the other family members, brothers, sisters, aunts uncles and grandparents??? THEY should step up and take her if you cannot, or will not---and they have something to say.

Not your problem, not your fault, not your addiction, not your mess. IMO, you either have it in you to raise children that are not yours, or you don't. Financially as well.

Throw the ball into their court and walk away.....

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