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Really? How can they expect this of me?

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I may get bashed for this but I want to know honest opinions. My brothers daughter is in foster care. She is 3 about the same age as my son. But she was born addicted to drugs and due to her moms drug use is very far behind. She can not talk, walk or feed herself. She can barely sit up without assistance and not for long periods of time. I am the only one in the family that cps will give her to. She is currently with a foster family that said they would eventually like to adopt her. They love her and are very good with her. My family is calling me selfish because I will not take her and raise her till my brother can get her back (at this point that won't be soon since he is still using). I just feel like with her disabilities it wouldn't be fair to my family,my life, my son, and her because of my schedules. I do love her! I know I could do it if I wanted but feel she is with a family that loves her. We are also ttc so I feel I dont want the extra stress. What would you do?
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by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 9:05 PM
Replies (31-40):
shoot4thestars
by Gold Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:01 PM

Aww, that poor little girl.  Maybe it will be good for herto stay with the family she is with now.  It sounds like she needs good one on one attention with someone that can work with her and help her to start learning the things she needs to learn and it sounds like this family can do that with her. 

FooLynRoo
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:02 PM
2 moms liked this

I would take in my niece.

no questions about it

boshs1andonly
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:03 PM

this

Quoting poshkat:

She has a family that loves her, takes care of her and she is settled and happy. You are not being selfish, you are doing what is right for your family and your niece.


BraythansMom
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:07 PM

I'm sorry you are having to go through this. It's terrible of your family to try to pressure you into it. I think you are making the right decision though. You have to do what's best for you and your family. If she is already with a family that is loving and caring for her then your family should be thankful. I wish you the best, this is a tough situation. 

pinkcoffeecup
by Gold Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:35 PM

If she is doing well with the foster family.  She should stay there.

JvilleMom125
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:40 PM
Everyone here has told you what I would say. All I have to add is you should still be in her life. My little sister was taken from our mother because she was caught with drugs and some of the aunts n uncles stayed in her life and supported her adoptive parents. It was great for her to have so many people who cared for her growing up.
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Zimmerchild
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:45 PM

I think you are making the right decision for you and your family. Your brother and his gf/so/? made their choices, and that got this little girl put into foster care. A family is showing interest in adopting her and giving her a great home, I would let them do that. There is nothing selfish in doing this! You are not your brothers keeper, and you shouldn't have to basically clean up his messes until he can clean up his act. I commend you, I really believe that you are doing the right thing.

amberklo
by Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:47 PM
I have a special needs child.They are alot of work.I agree if she is with a family who loves her and who can care for her why take that away?Good luck!
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Paperfishies
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:49 PM
1 mom liked this
Poor baby.

Me personally, I could not allow my niece or nephew to be in foster care and would adopt in a heartbeat.
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Brittanyk3
by Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 8:49 PM
i would leave her where she is. not only would you be putting lots more stess on you and taking time away from your own kids but what happens when/if brother does get clean? then they just expect you to hand her back over after you raise her and get attached? that would be hard on baby too :( it sounds like her foster family loves her and has the time to give her!
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