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What discipline techniques did you use for your children? How old r they? What do u think about Tabasco and dish washing soap as a form of discipline?

by on Mar. 9, 2013 at 9:28 PM
Replies (11-16):
KJH78
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 3:51 PM

My daughter is almost three. The quickest way to turn Alex's behavior around is taking away all electronics (TV, ipad, games on TV). She is at the age where she wants to be super independent. A parenting technique I like is Love and Logic. It puts the behavior on the child and doesn't make you the mean mommy. The child is given two options (both of which you are good with either option) and she picks which she wants. For example, if she wants a sweet goody.  I tell her she can have it after she eats all of her dinner or not at all. As a mom I'm good with either option. If she doesn't eat her dinner she is the one preventing her from getting the snack. I use a lot of transitions where if it's almost bed time I tell my daughter she has 3 minutes and then it's time to get ready for bed. This works much better than interrupting what they are doing without a warning. Also, I do explain to my daughter why my decisions are what they are even if the explanation is "mommy doesn't want you to have that right now". I was recently referred to another book called There's gotta be a better way by Becky Bailey. I haven't read it yet, but it's supposed to be pretty good.

Some things I've learned from my sister, who is a child development major, is that kids respond better when you tell them what to do instead of what not to do. That way you are not always say 'no'. So my daughter likes to put the cars wheels on my wall. Instead of saying "no don't do that" I say "wheels on the floor". You do two things at once you tell them what they should be doing and they stop doing what they were without the word 'no'. Another thing I've learned from my sister is that kids like to feel as though they have some control so I will wear her out with choices...everything and anything can be made a choice..do you want to put on pj's or brush your teeth first, are you done watching your show or do you need one more minute, do you want to sit in this chair or that chair...when I do this with my daughter her face lights up she LOVES to make decisions! My sister has also taught me that when you get so frustrated a lot of times  you are upset by the behavior, but really you're upset b/c your boundaries and expectations are not set. I find when I get frustrated I am doing just that, allowing my boundaries to be negotiated. When I know they are clear and my little one is just testing it's easier for me to remain in control and focused on teaching her instead of being overly frustrated.

Lastly, the one thing that I remind myself pretty much daily is the idea shared from Dr. Phil that at 2 and 3 and 4 years old you are raising a teenager. I also make sure I'm spending time with her - after all LOVE is spelled TIME!


HuggaBug1991
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 5:54 PM

 My kids are still little (we do time outs and no-no.) But as they get older; we will spank, dish soap for mouthing, time outs, grounding.....

Texascandee
by Bronze Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 6:44 PM

People have to choose what works best for them.  Some kids it  will work with a time out or taking away a favorite toy/game and others it works to give them pops on their butt.

I think tabasco and dish soap as discipline is child abuse.  How would that adult feel with tabasco and a shit load of dish soap in their mouth?  Even a little squirt is nasty and abusive imo. Honestly, I don't think using either of those is going to teach that child anything.  Again, jmo

jogre
by on Mar. 10, 2013 at 7:38 PM

We take away privileges. If they don't do as they are told we take the wii away for the weekend for example and it works. Sometimes i just yell at them but its inevitable lol. 

Kmary
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2013 at 7:38 PM

Ok first of all even without getting into the question of whether hot sauce is abuse or not, it absolutely is NOT discipline.  It is punishment, which is extremely different from discipline.  And if more parents knew the difference between those 2 words, they wouldn't have nearly as many behavioral problems as they do.  The word discipline means to teach.  It doesn't matter what punishment you use (whether you ground, take away a privilege, spank, put hot sauce on their tongue, use time-outs, don't let them go to a friend's house and on and on)...if you don't also couple it with discipline, which is teaching the child what they should have done in the first place, then it may be ineffective.  Even when it seems obvious to us what the kid knows what they did wrong, you'd be surprised that sometimes they don't know exactly or  they don't know specifically what they should have done instead.  There isn't necessarily anything wrong with punishment.  Some of them, after all, are pretty benign.  But unless you remind the kid or ask them to show you what they should have done in place of the bad behavior, your punishments will potentially have to be repeated and repeated over and over again. 

Maybe I'll totally eat my words when my kids are older, but right now (they're 3 and 5) I don't really do any punishing.  We talk briefly about why they shouldn't do whatever it was, then I ask them how they could do it better and that's about it.  And so far so good.  I know everyone says this about their kids, but my kids are generally very well-behaved, at least according to their teachers, grandparents, random strangers at restaurants, etc. 

anonsnowbook
by on Apr. 11, 2013 at 6:51 PM

nothing wrong wiht spanking  or the soap in the mouth  or having them stand by the fridge  for about 2 min

 it works my mom did the same for me and my brother and we turned out alright

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