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Do you still have a good relationship with your parents?

Posted by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 9:40 PM
  • 20 Replies

My mother has made many many mistakes while raising me and my three half siblings. I am significantly older than my three siblings and many times I found that I was raising them for her. At one point she had her parental rights terminated and I was granted custody of them through CPS, but because I could not afford a larger home for all of us, they went to live with their father in another state. Ever since they got taken away from my mother and placed into my care, she has been under the false idea that I had been trying to take them away from her. Saying that I want to kidnap them, and all sorts of ridiculous things. It was not my fault that they were taken from her home. Before everything went to hell, I stood by my mother. I used to call her every other day atleast just to talk. Now she wont answer my phone calls, ignores my facebook messages, and has only seen her granddaughter twice since she was born 14 months ago... my 6 year old son adores her, but is starting to forget her and calls her "the old mother". 

Do you have any advice on how to fix things with her and get her to understand that I am not the enemy?

by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 9:40 PM
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Replies (1-10):
delilahsmom1177
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 9:42 PM

Actually due to one my disorder and two a long distant father I did not have good relationships with  my aprents until recently. I am 26 years old and I am just now getting along with them both and it is wonderful!

I'm a tattooed,pagan,pro-choice,pro-legalizing marijuana,pro-gay marriage,anti-war,non-vaxing,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,depression battling, trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is but still teaching her important life lessons,fighting for equal rights at the same time,don't like it get over it.

aliciasgirl
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 9:46 PM



Quoting delilahsmom1177:

Actually due to one my disorder and two a long distant father I did not have good relationships with  my aprents until recently. I am 26 years old and I am just now getting along with them both and it is wonderful!

1) my daughter's name is delilah!!

2) i am hoping that something will happen and she will soon see that I am still here and that i still love her even though she made some epically horrible mistakes. i still want a mother daughter relationship, but now that she got remarried and has two "new" daughters she had ditched me and her other REAL chidren. 


delilahsmom1177
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 9:50 PM

1. AWESOME

2. I understand... It took my mom years to understand my disorder and still she doesn't fully get it. It put us at major odds for years. Good Lunk Momma this sucks.

Quoting aliciasgirl:



Quoting delilahsmom1177:

Actually due to one my disorder and two a long distant father I did not have good relationships with  my aprents until recently. I am 26 years old and I am just now getting along with them both and it is wonderful!

1) my daughter's name is delilah!!

2) i am hoping that something will happen and she will soon see that I am still here and that i still love her even though she made some epically horrible mistakes. i still want a mother daughter relationship, but now that she got remarried and has two "new" daughters she had ditched me and her other REAL chidren. 



I'm a tattooed,pagan,pro-choice,pro-legalizing marijuana,pro-gay marriage,anti-war,non-vaxing,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,depression battling, trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is but still teaching her important life lessons,fighting for equal rights at the same time,don't like it get over it.

aliciasgirl
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 9:52 PM



Quoting delilahsmom1177:

1. AWESOME

2. I understand... It took my mom years to understand my disorder and still she doesn't fully get it. It put us at major odds for years. Good Lunk Momma this sucks.

Quoting aliciasgirl:



Quoting delilahsmom1177:

Actually due to one my disorder and two a long distant father I did not have good relationships with  my aprents until recently. I am 26 years old and I am just now getting along with them both and it is wonderful!

1) my daughter's name is delilah!!

2) i am hoping that something will happen and she will soon see that I am still here and that i still love her even though she made some epically horrible mistakes. i still want a mother daughter relationship, but now that she got remarried and has two "new" daughters she had ditched me and her other REAL chidren. 




alright this is going to drive me insane ((sorry i am a very very curious person...)) but what disorder if I may ask?

delilahsmom1177
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 9:55 PM

LOL growing up it was just borderline personality disorder and Gernalized anxeity disorder. As I grew up and things happpened I developed PTSD and agroaphobia.

Quoting aliciasgirl:



Quoting delilahsmom1177:

1. AWESOME

2. I understand... It took my mom years to understand my disorder and still she doesn't fully get it. It put us at major odds for years. Good Lunk Momma this sucks.

Quoting aliciasgirl:



Quoting delilahsmom1177:

Actually due to one my disorder and two a long distant father I did not have good relationships with  my aprents until recently. I am 26 years old and I am just now getting along with them both and it is wonderful!

1) my daughter's name is delilah!!

2) i am hoping that something will happen and she will soon see that I am still here and that i still love her even though she made some epically horrible mistakes. i still want a mother daughter relationship, but now that she got remarried and has two "new" daughters she had ditched me and her other REAL chidren. 




alright this is going to drive me insane ((sorry i am a very very curious person...)) but what disorder if I may ask?


I'm a tattooed,pagan,pro-choice,pro-legalizing marijuana,pro-gay marriage,anti-war,non-vaxing,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,depression battling, trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is but still teaching her important life lessons,fighting for equal rights at the same time,don't like it get over it.

aliciasgirl
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 10:02 PM


ihave anxiety disorder as well. I also have bipolar disorder. its a mess. My mother is the same way but she refuses to admit it and she refuses to get help. atleast I am on meds for it. 


Quoting delilahsmom1177:

LOL growing up it was just borderline personality disorder and Gernalized anxeity disorder. As I grew up and things happpened I developed PTSD and agroaphobia.

Quoting aliciasgirl:



Quoting delilahsmom1177:

1. AWESOME

2. I understand... It took my mom years to understand my disorder and still she doesn't fully get it. It put us at major odds for years. Good Lunk Momma this sucks.

Quoting aliciasgirl:



Quoting delilahsmom1177:

Actually due to one my disorder and two a long distant father I did not have good relationships with  my aprents until recently. I am 26 years old and I am just now getting along with them both and it is wonderful!

1) my daughter's name is delilah!!

2) i am hoping that something will happen and she will soon see that I am still here and that i still love her even though she made some epically horrible mistakes. i still want a mother daughter relationship, but now that she got remarried and has two "new" daughters she had ditched me and her other REAL chidren. 




alright this is going to drive me insane ((sorry i am a very very curious person...)) but what disorder if I may ask?




delilahsmom1177
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 10:07 PM

I wish I had an excuse for the way my mom actted sometimes. I won't even go into her actting like a 16 year old even now. BUT we have come a long way. I;m on meds myself.... God send really.

Quoting aliciasgirl:


ihave anxiety disorder as well. I also have bipolar disorder. its a mess. My mother is the same way but she refuses to admit it and she refuses to get help. atleast I am on meds for it. 


Quoting delilahsmom1177:

LOL growing up it was just borderline personality disorder and Gernalized anxeity disorder. As I grew up and things happpened I developed PTSD and agroaphobia.

Quoting aliciasgirl:



Quoting delilahsmom1177:

1. AWESOME

2. I understand... It took my mom years to understand my disorder and still she doesn't fully get it. It put us at major odds for years. Good Lunk Momma this sucks.

Quoting aliciasgirl:



Quoting delilahsmom1177:

Actually due to one my disorder and two a long distant father I did not have good relationships with  my aprents until recently. I am 26 years old and I am just now getting along with them both and it is wonderful!

1) my daughter's name is delilah!!

2) i am hoping that something will happen and she will soon see that I am still here and that i still love her even though she made some epically horrible mistakes. i still want a mother daughter relationship, but now that she got remarried and has two "new" daughters she had ditched me and her other REAL chidren. 




alright this is going to drive me insane ((sorry i am a very very curious person...)) but what disorder if I may ask?





I'm a tattooed,pagan,pro-choice,pro-legalizing marijuana,pro-gay marriage,anti-war,non-vaxing,tree hugging,animal loving,book reading,animal testing free,depression battling, trying to raise a free spirit and letting her be who she is but still teaching her important life lessons,fighting for equal rights at the same time,don't like it get over it.

143myboys9496
by Gold Member on Mar. 15, 2013 at 10:23 PM

 From my experience with my own mother, you can't BRING her to the realization that you're not the enemy..she's has to come to that on her own. This may not be the kindest advice, but you need to step back, and live your life. Hopefully she'll realize you weren't the enemy, and come to her senses.

My mother repeated the "sins" of her mother. When I got married my mother actually admits she resented me. idk why but she did. She didn't like ANY of my friends, ANY of my bf's or even my dh. And well, she didn't like my children either. She treated them like they were contaminated little demons. When I truely needed her most, she wasn't there for me, (that's a story onto itself). Her and my father also bet on how long I'd stay married to my dh..(she thought 12years my father 15)..nice huh?

In Aug I'll be married 22 years. It wasn't until I was married 17, almost 18 years that she came to her senses. By then my children were WELL old enough to know that "noni and papa" didn't like them, and treated them differently than my brother's kids. Damage has been done, some can be forgiven, or repaired, but none of it can be forgotten.

Dwelling on it and trying to get her to realize you're not the enemy, will only suck your energy, and bring you down.

Sorry...wish I could give you a step by step...

jeweldragons
by on Mar. 15, 2013 at 10:43 PM

My dad was never in my life due to PA courts.  He's an ass.

Mom  neglected me all my life.  Trying to repair my relationship with her but it isn't easy.

I wish I had a different family.

scorpiobabes
by on Mar. 16, 2013 at 9:16 AM

When I was little, my mom still loved me, heck, she even LIKED me. Everything was fine-they even put up with me and my sister fighting constantly MOST of the time.Then I went to high school and things changed. My mom hated who I was becoming. She hated my friends. Strangely, she liked my boyfriends better than me (embarassing). I didn't tell her that I went through two abortions after high school, heck,  I didn't even tell her that I was expecting or getting married until about 2 1/2 weeks before the ceremony!

While I was pregnant, she was almost nice to me again. And after I had my daughter, she was over the moon-she was instantly in love with my dd, her first grandchild. She did everything she could to have that little girl in her life-she'd call every week and ask to take her out, but not me! She passed away less than six months after my 30th birthday.

It took a long time to come to terms with the fact that my mother didn't LIKE me. I knew that she LOVED me unconditionally, but she didn't have my back when I needed it the most (she automatically believed the teacher that failed me my junior year in one subject). I admit-yeah, I did some cosmically stupid things in HS, but in the end, I became a responsible adult. But she never gave me credit for it. Heck, I was 25 before she told me how proud she was of my photography-she told me how talented my husband was with his music years before!

My dad and I were closer once she was gone. And now he's gone too. So I'd have to say that I have a much better relationship with my parents now than ever before.

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