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Waiting until after college to concieve

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Why is it that so many moms on here advise that (poor) women wait until after they have graduated college and started a career to have another baby? What is easier about ttc while holding down a career. I just don't understand, wouldn't it be harder? Work is 5 plus days a week and college is 2-3 days each week, maybe even part time for some. It's a lighter time commitment. Can't a boss fire you if you are pregnant? How would that whole scenario even work?

by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:46 AM
Replies (21-30):
connie45
by Gold Member on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:36 PM
Unless you are 40 and your parents are 80, well even then that's some strange reasoning


Quoting Momma2Be135:

wEll im college and ttc because my parents are older and i don't know how much longer they will live to see me have children.fingers crossed


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Momma2Be135
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 11:49 AM

My parents are 61 and 62 snd im 20 so yea i was a late baby when they had me.

romanceparty4u
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:01 PM


Do you really think they'll die that quickly? My parents had 20 years with my girls....and they were 41 when they had me. They expected me to finish school prior to marriage and conception.

They aren't old, they're just getting started, IMO.

Quoting Momma2Be135:

My parents are 61 and 62 snd im 20 so yea i was a late baby when they had me.



tansyflower
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:09 PM
1 mom liked this

but what if you are marrying an older spouse?  my husband was 40 before we met.  waiting to have children until he was 50 or older was not an option for him.  he did not want to be in his 60's and trying to keep up with his own child during little league practice....and can you blam him?  and for woman, if the older they are the greater the chance for fertility issues.  i would never tell someone they HAD to wait until they had their degree in order to start a family.  the assumtion is that you need to figure out exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life and go to school at 18 years old.  and we wonder why so many people are disatified with their careers and go BACK to school in their 30's for something totally different?

not that this situation even applies to me since i was already done with school when i got married, but i did want to point out that sometimes age does facter into the decision to have children before a person has gone to or finished school.

Quoting romanceparty4u:


Do you really think they'll die that quickly? My parents had 20 years with my girls....and they were 41 when they had me. They expected me to finish school prior to marriage and conception.

They aren't old, they're just getting started, IMO.

Quoting Momma2Be135:

My parents are 61 and 62 snd im 20 so yea i was a late baby when they had me.




romanceparty4u
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:25 PM


The situation is this: she wants to make sure she hurries up and has babies, without finishing school, so her parents can see her babies. This logic is flawed. Being able to provide for your children should take precedence, not making sure generations past get to share them with you.

Your mother could be 40 and hit by a bus---so "aging parents" is a poor excuse to pop a few babies out. There are numerous people that have been born in this world without grandparents, for one reason or another. Live your life for you and your children to be, not for others.

As for your situation I assume you weren't 20 and still in school when you married him.

Quoting tansyflower:

but what if you are marrying an older spouse?  my husband was 40 before we met.  waiting to have children until he was 50 or older was not an option for him.  he did not want to be in his 60's and trying to keep up with his own child during little league practice....and can you blam him?  and for woman, if the older they are the greater the chance for fertility issues.  i would never tell someone they HAD to wait until they had their degree in order to start a family.  the assumtion is that you need to figure out exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life and go to school at 18 years old.  and we wonder why so many people are disatified with their careers and go BACK to school in their 30's for something totally different?

not that this situation even applies to me since i was already done with school when i got married, but i did want to point out that sometimes age does facter into the decision to have children before a person has gone to or finished school.

Quoting romanceparty4u:


Do you really think they'll die that quickly? My parents had 20 years with my girls....and they were 41 when they had me. They expected me to finish school prior to marriage and conception.

They aren't old, they're just getting started, IMO.

Quoting Momma2Be135:

My parents are 61 and 62 snd im 20 so yea i was a late baby when they had me.






LucyHarper
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:27 PM

Because then they would have more secure stable money for that child. No, a boss can not fire you for being pregnant. I personally did not wait until after college, its what works for me, but I can see why that would be valid advise for some. And I don't know what college you are talking about, but no, college is not 2-3 days a week for a few hours, its 4-5 days a week several hours a day along with a ton of homework, which is difficult to do with a crying child and curious toddler.

tansyflower
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:30 PM

nope, i was 24 and was out of school, and now i am getting closer to 30 and started a business that has nothing to do with my degree lol :)

my point was everyones situation is different.  i know lots of people have kids and go to school and its not a big deal.  my bil is getting his masters AND working full time and his 1 year old in fine with it!

Quoting romanceparty4u:


The situation is this: she wants to make sure she hurries up and has babies, without finishing school, so her parents can see her babies. This logic is flawed. Being able to provide for your children should take precedence, not making sure generations past get to share them with you.

Your mother could be 40 and hit by a bus---so "aging parents" is a poor excuse to pop a few babies out. There are numerous people that have been born in this world without grandparents, for one reason or another. Live your life for you and your children to be, not for others.

As for your situation I assume you weren't 20 and still in school when you married him.

Quoting tansyflower:

but what if you are marrying an older spouse?  my husband was 40 before we met.  waiting to have children until he was 50 or older was not an option for him.  he did not want to be in his 60's and trying to keep up with his own child during little league practice....and can you blam him?  and for woman, if the older they are the greater the chance for fertility issues.  i would never tell someone they HAD to wait until they had their degree in order to start a family.  the assumtion is that you need to figure out exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life and go to school at 18 years old.  and we wonder why so many people are disatified with their careers and go BACK to school in their 30's for something totally different?

not that this situation even applies to me since i was already done with school when i got married, but i did want to point out that sometimes age does facter into the decision to have children before a person has gone to or finished school.

Quoting romanceparty4u:


Do you really think they'll die that quickly? My parents had 20 years with my girls....and they were 41 when they had me. They expected me to finish school prior to marriage and conception.

They aren't old, they're just getting started, IMO.

Quoting Momma2Be135:

My parents are 61 and 62 snd im 20 so yea i was a late baby when they had me.







Arwyn724
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:36 PM

There is a lot of hype in this.  I know tons of women who had careers first, then children.  My first was born when I was 30, my last when I was 38.  I was completely healthy, getting pregnant was simple, I knew the exact date I conceived, and both my kids were born problem free.  My youngest is 17, I have a grandchild from my oldest, and I still work 50 hrs/week.  I'm not over the hill yet, but the last thing I would have wanted to do is go back to school in my 40's.  I already had seniority at work by then.  With age does come priveledge.

Quoting tansyflower:

but what if you are marrying an older spouse?  my husband was 40 before we met.  waiting to have children until he was 50 or older was not an option for him.  he did not want to be in his 60's and trying to keep up with his own child during little league practice....and can you blam him?  and for woman, if the older they are the greater the chance for fertility issues.  i would never tell someone they HAD to wait until they had their degree in order to start a family.  the assumtion is that you need to figure out exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life and go to school at 18 years old.  and we wonder why so many people are disatified with their careers and go BACK to school in their 30's for something totally different?

not that this situation even applies to me since i was already done with school when i got married, but i did want to point out that sometimes age does facter into the decision to have children before a person has gone to or finished school.

Quoting romanceparty4u:


Do you really think they'll die that quickly? My parents had 20 years with my girls....and they were 41 when they had me. They expected me to finish school prior to marriage and conception.

They aren't old, they're just getting started, IMO.

Quoting Momma2Be135:

My parents are 61 and 62 snd im 20 so yea i was a late baby when they had me.





Arwyn 724 

romanceparty4u
by Ruby Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:43 PM


I would imagine that many people would not even finish school, if they had a baby. Happens a lot..actually. Then, saying they do decide to finish up school in their 30's or 40's, they'll be starting at "entry level" jobs when they graduate.

I have been at the top of my "pay grade" since I was in my mid-thirties. I like being there, and if I had to do it all over again, I just wouldn't.

Quoting Arwyn724:

There is a lot of hype in this.  I know tons of women who had careers first, then children.  My first was born when I was 30, my last when I was 38.  I was completely healthy, getting pregnant was simple, I knew the exact date I conceived, and both my kids were born problem free.  My youngest is 17, I have a grandchild from my oldest, and I still work 50 hrs/week.  I'm not over the hill yet, but the last thing I would have wanted to do is go back to school in my 40's.  I already had seniority at work by then.  With age does come priveledge.

Quoting tansyflower:

but what if you are marrying an older spouse?  my husband was 40 before we met.  waiting to have children until he was 50 or older was not an option for him.  he did not want to be in his 60's and trying to keep up with his own child during little league practice....and can you blam him?  and for woman, if the older they are the greater the chance for fertility issues.  i would never tell someone they HAD to wait until they had their degree in order to start a family.  the assumtion is that you need to figure out exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life and go to school at 18 years old.  and we wonder why so many people are disatified with their careers and go BACK to school in their 30's for something totally different?

not that this situation even applies to me since i was already done with school when i got married, but i did want to point out that sometimes age does facter into the decision to have children before a person has gone to or finished school.

Quoting romanceparty4u:


Do you really think they'll die that quickly? My parents had 20 years with my girls....and they were 41 when they had me. They expected me to finish school prior to marriage and conception.

They aren't old, they're just getting started, IMO.

Quoting Momma2Be135:

My parents are 61 and 62 snd im 20 so yea i was a late baby when they had me.







Arwyn724
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:47 PM
1 mom liked this

That is exactly my point.  Who wants to start climbing the ladder at that age?  And what have you provided for your children if the money job comes after they are grown and out of the house?

Quoting romanceparty4u:


I would imagine that many people would not even finish school, if they had a baby. Happens a lot..actually. Then, saying they do decide to finish up school in their 30's or 40's, they'll be starting at "entry level" jobs when they graduate.

I have been at the top of my "pay grade" since I was in my mid-thirties. I like being there, and if I had to do it all over again, I just wouldn't.

Quoting Arwyn724:

There is a lot of hype in this.  I know tons of women who had careers first, then children.  My first was born when I was 30, my last when I was 38.  I was completely healthy, getting pregnant was simple, I knew the exact date I conceived, and both my kids were born problem free.  My youngest is 17, I have a grandchild from my oldest, and I still work 50 hrs/week.  I'm not over the hill yet, but the last thing I would have wanted to do is go back to school in my 40's.  I already had seniority at work by then.  With age does come priveledge.

Quoting tansyflower:

but what if you are marrying an older spouse?  my husband was 40 before we met.  waiting to have children until he was 50 or older was not an option for him.  he did not want to be in his 60's and trying to keep up with his own child during little league practice....and can you blam him?  and for woman, if the older they are the greater the chance for fertility issues.  i would never tell someone they HAD to wait until they had their degree in order to start a family.  the assumtion is that you need to figure out exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life and go to school at 18 years old.  and we wonder why so many people are disatified with their careers and go BACK to school in their 30's for something totally different?

not that this situation even applies to me since i was already done with school when i got married, but i did want to point out that sometimes age does facter into the decision to have children before a person has gone to or finished school.

Quoting romanceparty4u:


Do you really think they'll die that quickly? My parents had 20 years with my girls....and they were 41 when they had me. They expected me to finish school prior to marriage and conception.

They aren't old, they're just getting started, IMO.

Quoting Momma2Be135:

My parents are 61 and 62 snd im 20 so yea i was a late baby when they had me.








Arwyn 724 

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