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Waiting until after college to concieve

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Why is it that so many moms on here advise that (poor) women wait until after they have graduated college and started a career to have another baby? What is easier about ttc while holding down a career. I just don't understand, wouldn't it be harder? Work is 5 plus days a week and college is 2-3 days each week, maybe even part time for some. It's a lighter time commitment. Can't a boss fire you if you are pregnant? How would that whole scenario even work?

by on Mar. 21, 2013 at 11:46 AM
Replies (31-40):
tansyflower
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 12:50 PM

lol not statistically.  fertility drastically reduces after the age of thirty, as does the egg quality which is why older woman (and their babies) are considered higher risk and have a much higher chance of pregnancy loss and birth defects.  you are using your own personal experience as scientific data.  it doesnt work that way!

Quoting Arwyn724:

There is a lot of hype in this.  I know tons of women who had careers first, then children.  My first was born when I was 30, my last when I was 38.  I was completely healthy, getting pregnant was simple, I knew the exact date I conceived, and both my kids were born problem free.  My youngest is 17, I have a grandchild from my oldest, and I still work 50 hrs/week.  I'm not over the hill yet, but the last thing I would have wanted to do is go back to school in my 40's.  I already had seniority at work by then.  With age does come priveledge.

Quoting tansyflower:

but what if you are marrying an older spouse?  my husband was 40 before we met.  waiting to have children until he was 50 or older was not an option for him.  he did not want to be in his 60's and trying to keep up with his own child during little league practice....and can you blam him?  and for woman, if the older they are the greater the chance for fertility issues.  i would never tell someone they HAD to wait until they had their degree in order to start a family.  the assumtion is that you need to figure out exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life and go to school at 18 years old.  and we wonder why so many people are disatified with their careers and go BACK to school in their 30's for something totally different?

not that this situation even applies to me since i was already done with school when i got married, but i did want to point out that sometimes age does facter into the decision to have children before a person has gone to or finished school.

Quoting romanceparty4u:


Do you really think they'll die that quickly? My parents had 20 years with my girls....and they were 41 when they had me. They expected me to finish school prior to marriage and conception.

They aren't old, they're just getting started, IMO.

Quoting Momma2Be135:

My parents are 61 and 62 snd im 20 so yea i was a late baby when they had me.






Arwyn724
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:04 PM

Your scientific data is ok for you, but I look at more than just that.  My personal experience, and every one of my friends who have had children in their late 30's (80% of the people I know) all have had extremely easy pregnancies and very healthy children.

Statistically, it seems like 80% of the young mom's on here, by the way, have autistic or diagnosed children.   

Quoting tansyflower:

lol not statistically.  fertility drastically reduces after the age of thirty, as does the egg quality which is why older woman (and their babies) are considered higher risk and have a much higher chance of pregnancy loss and birth defects.  you are using your own personal experience as scientific data.  it doesnt work that way!

Quoting Arwyn724:

There is a lot of hype in this.  I know tons of women who had careers first, then children.  My first was born when I was 30, my last when I was 38.  I was completely healthy, getting pregnant was simple, I knew the exact date I conceived, and both my kids were born problem free.  My youngest is 17, I have a grandchild from my oldest, and I still work 50 hrs/week.  I'm not over the hill yet, but the last thing I would have wanted to do is go back to school in my 40's.  I already had seniority at work by then.  With age does come priveledge.

Quoting tansyflower:

but what if you are marrying an older spouse?  my husband was 40 before we met.  waiting to have children until he was 50 or older was not an option for him.  he did not want to be in his 60's and trying to keep up with his own child during little league practice....and can you blam him?  and for woman, if the older they are the greater the chance for fertility issues.  i would never tell someone they HAD to wait until they had their degree in order to start a family.  the assumtion is that you need to figure out exactly what you want to do for the rest of your life and go to school at 18 years old.  and we wonder why so many people are disatified with their careers and go BACK to school in their 30's for something totally different?

not that this situation even applies to me since i was already done with school when i got married, but i did want to point out that sometimes age does facter into the decision to have children before a person has gone to or finished school.

Quoting romanceparty4u:


Do you really think they'll die that quickly? My parents had 20 years with my girls....and they were 41 when they had me. They expected me to finish school prior to marriage and conception.

They aren't old, they're just getting started, IMO.

Quoting Momma2Be135:

My parents are 61 and 62 snd im 20 so yea i was a late baby when they had me.








Arwyn 724 

Elle.tea.22
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:09 PM
Babies take money and time. If you spend time in class and work, less time for a baby. In theory if you have a college education you will have a better job vs working long hours for crappy pay. I waited, why can't other people? It is possible, people just feel like making irresponsible desisions and not planning babies. Then complaining when shit goes wrong.
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Bigmetalchicken
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 1:50 PM

I think it is better to get all that done and get your life settled and established before having kids, because parenting can be difficult even in the best of situantions, so I do not see the point of willingly making things harder for you and your children.

Allisonc7910
by Allison on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:13 PM

 I agree.  It is very hard working and being pregnant, especially if you are sick with the morning sickness, fatigue etc.  That can last all pregnancy.

Due9
by on Mar. 22, 2013 at 2:20 PM

Uhhh, finishing school is much easier without children. Having a career means more money and better chance of good insurance for your children. Is this really  that mysterious?

Momma2Be135
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 11:52 AM
Well guess what when u like e and u got a man thats be there for ya hey u got a good deal and im happy thank you.
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littlelamb303
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 2:57 PM

WHY?  When I was growing up, I was told college first, job, money, marriage and then kids.  That is the way it should be.  That is the ONLY right way to do it and my dd knows that as well.    I also had a professional job where I had benefits and maternity leave.  When you have a college education, you tend to get those kind of jobs.  Why is that so difficult to understand?   It bothers me when people don't do things in the order they should and then expect the government to bail them out.  Also, by the time I had a baby, I was MORE than ready, unlike some who had them too young.

LavenderMom23
by on Mar. 31, 2013 at 2:59 PM
Maternity leave? Like two Weeks of calling in sick?

Quoting littlelamb303:

WHY?  When I was growing up, I was told college first, job, money, marriage and then kids.  That is the way it should be.  That is the ONLY right way to do it and my dd knows that as well.    I also had a professional job where I had benefits and maternity leave.  When you have a college education, you tend to get those kind of jobs.  Why is that so difficult to understand?   It bothers me when people don't do things in the order they should and then expect the government to bail them out.  Also, by the time I had a baby, I was MORE than ready, unlike some who had them too young.

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littlelamb303
by Member on Mar. 31, 2013 at 3:00 PM

 


Quoting Allisonc7910:

 I agree.  It is very hard working and being pregnant, especially if you are sick with the morning sickness, fatigue etc.  That can last all pregnancy.


 I had serious complications with my pregnancy, but I was more than established already in my PROFESSIONAL job, and I was able to take a FULL year off, some of it with pay, disability and maternity leave.  That is why you should wait until you have financial security before EVER considering having a child.  Dead end jobs that don't require an education never offer benefits or security.

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