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I'm a burned out mom...how do i pull out of this?

Posted by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 5:15 PM
  • 10 Replies

I don't want to be around my kids who wont listen, I know they'd act better if I would but I am in a slump. I need super nanny. There are so many behaviors around here that need to STOP but I just want to scream. how do i get out of this, I have work that needs done in the house, in my life with the business's and something that takes a few hours normally takes 10 with kids. I never get 5 seconds alons not even when ih ave to work and hubby never gives me time alone he never stops talking to me! No one gets it! I have speeches to write and i just want them to ignore me so I can get stuff done for 5 seconds. :( days like this i wish I had an office and a nanny. but i know it would be too hard for me to ever leave my kids with anyone. what do you do when you are burned out?

by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 5:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 6:51 PM

How old are the children?  I would set everyone to a specific task down to the youngest toddler to wiping walls up to the older ones who can dust and sweep floors.  Even the husband needs to be helping out more perhaps taking the children out for a few hours to burn the energy.    When i am burned out , I will stay up an extra 1-3 hrs at night to decompress and indulge in my interests.   I used to have girls day out as well to help recharge batteries.

texassahm
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 7:03 PM

I was wondering how old your kids are, too.

My DH was working out of state for a few months this past fall and I had to take care of all four kids on my own - three girls 9, 11, (stepdaughter SD21} and one boy (stepson SS15).  I wrote down everything that needed to be done in the house, then I took that list and separated it by age-appropriate ability.  

Today, everyone has chores they have to complete before they can do the fun stuff.  (The 21yr old stepdaughter is the hardest to manage).  Everyone has a day they are responsible for the dishes - MW is YDD9, TH is ODD11, F is my SD21, S is my day and Sun is my SS15's day.

All of them are responsible for their own laundry - I usually end up doing most of it, but if they need clean clothes and I am busy, they are responsible for doing it.

SS15 takes out the trash once a week and the recycling as needed.

The rest of the house (living room, dining room, etc) is usually cleaned by my youngest DD's because they make most of the mess, but all are responsible for their own mess.

Chore list is posted and I constantly remind all of them, but after a few weeks of losing TV time, phones, computers, etc - they figured out that I'm serious.  I still get moaning, but it has lessened with time.

ditsyjo
by Gold Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 7:29 PM

tell  your bhusband you need a night off occasionally... tell him straight out don't hint. then leave the kids with him and go out or lock your self in your room for a few hours.

AlohaTink
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 7:48 PM
I hate to be mean but it's called parenting. The way kids act doesn't just happen over night. It's days, weeks, and months of kids running the house and getting away with everything. Learn to parent your kids! You are not their friend. You are the dictator of their life. This is not a democracy. Learn to parent and they won't run all over you.
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LostInLove2002
by on Mar. 23, 2013 at 8:08 PM

Hi. I'm new here. I don't work outside the home and I have only one child (with aspergers) buuuuut... I am halfway through menopause. :D *twitch twitch* LOL

How about sitting down and making lists?  I do this to organize all the thoughts that are whirling in my head. I have one sheet for housework and one for my son. If there are other things then I make a page for them too.

Then I write down all that needs attention. Then I prioritize my lists. What HAS to be done and when. Then I take the top three from each list and prioritize those. 

I know it sounds silly but when things pile up even a pair of dirty socks that missed the laundry can seem 'too much'. 

Hope this helps some.

spunky946
by Platinum Member on Mar. 23, 2013 at 9:16 PM

How old are your kids? You need to step up and parent your kids.

hugss
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by Ruby Member on Mar. 24, 2013 at 12:44 AM

Hi & welcome to the group,
I know it isn't easy with you working & such .. but that being said
You are the parent & your DH is your partner in all this.
Sounds like it's time to sit down & have a family meeting,
Not sure how old they all are but they do understand some things.
Sit down & share with them the *new rules* of the house & consequences if not followed.
Hang in there .. good luck & let us know how it goes :)

jobberwocky
by Chrissy on Mar. 24, 2013 at 9:15 AM
Sounds like its time to sit down and talk with your dh and get a game plan then sit down with your children and tell them how things are going to be and what will happen if they don't do what they are supposed to.
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Clairwil
by Silver Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 9:01 AM
Quoting strawberryLVR:

days like this i wish I had an office and a nanny. but i know it would be too hard for me to ever leave my kids with anyone

How old are the kids?

Who earns more?  You or your DH?


Clairwil
by Silver Member on Mar. 27, 2013 at 9:04 AM
Quoting strawberryLVR:

hubby never gives me time alone he never stops talking to me! No one gets it!

How did you attempt to communicate this need to your DH?   Did you say explicity "I love talking with you, but there are times when I'd also really value some quiet 'me' time.  Is that something you'd be willing to gift to me and, if so, what would be the best way for me to tell you I want some without hurting your feelings?"


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