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Issues with Daycare. :/ *vent*LONG**ADVICE

Posted by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:22 PM
  • 16 Replies

I posted this earlier but am reposting because I was on my cell and now that I am on the computer I can explain the situation better.

My step son (he's my baby though), just turned two not too long ago and we haven't had custody very long. He was taken away from his mother because she beat the hell out of him, as well as neglected him, and she didn't have a stable home.

When we got DS, we put him in daycare twice a week so he could interact with kids his own age and what not. He really needed help with "social skills". We have had so many issues with him since getting custody, daycare was a huge step.

When we first started daycare, he absolutely loved it. He never cried and when it was time to go home for the day he didn't want to leave. Then, they got new "teachers" for his age group. We suddenly were faced with issues of biting and acting out randomly (issues we didn't have with his original teacher). At first, we really liked the new teacher but as time has passed, not so much. She seems way to eager to take DS from us in the mornings. We don't even make it two steps in the door and she is in our faces. She just "comes on too strong". My friends DD also goes to daycare here and is in the same room as DS. A few mornings back, she dropped her DD off and the teacher didn't give her breakfast. She told my friend that they were out and she should have dropped her off sooner (she drops her off at the same time daily and it has never been an issue).  My friend calls me yesterday and tells me our DS was crying still when she dropped her DD off (which is well after we have been gone, at least 30-45 minutes).

As time continues to pass things are getting more weird. We have had a "routine" when dropping DS off. First we go to his cubby and then we give him hugs and kisses. Sometimes, we read a quick story to make him comfortable. All of these things were never an issue with the old teachers. The new lady though, she follows us around like a f***ing dog! It's like we are under a microscope or something. Today when we pulled into the parking lot of the daycare, DS instantly starting crying and screaming like he was scared. I calmed him down and we took him inside. When we got in the classroom, I was snuggling DS still trying to keep him calm, the lady walks up and says, "Let me see your hands" for whatever reason. DS pulls his hands away screaming, "No No No" and starts crying all over again. . I have finally had enough of her not giving us our space so I told her, not so nicely, "Look lady, he has been through enough in his life now just give us some damn space and let us go through our morning routine!" She just looked at me. She didn't apologize or say anything at all for that matter. .

I have talked to the director of the daycare multiple times about multiple issues and she says she will address it, its not getting any better. A few days ago, a little boy hit a little girl on the head and the new lady just stood there, she didn't disipline him at all.! And then, a couple weeks ago she was screaming at them.

I'm just so fed up IDK what to do. I have a gut feeling that something isn't right but I don't know if I am overreacting or...? We are looking for a new daycare but aren't having any luck finding one that will take him only two days a week.

What do you mommas think about it all?! What would you do? Am I overreacting?

 

 

by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
calsmom62
by Silver Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:40 PM
I used to be an Asst director at a childcare ctr, and the behavior you are describing strikes me as a teacher who might be insecure and inadequately equipped for her job. Parents might be giving her more insecurity and she may try to rush you out. Does she have a co teacher or an aide? is her room observable or open at all? If after several conversations with the director have had no effect, and hopefully you all three met before ds was moved into the room, you might have to look at a more nurturing environment for ds.
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terpmama
by Gold Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:45 PM

Spot check time... Show up randomly and peek through the window/ door

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:47 PM

A 2 yr old typically isnt overly social so not sure exactly why he needs to be around other children when you are having issues with the current workers.  How is he when you come to piick him up?  I agree with the other poster that the behavior could be of an insecure person who feels extra pressure if the parents stay longer than just dropping the child off.

mommaalways247
by Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:48 PM

 The room is kind of open to other rooms. And she doesn't have a helper until later in the mornings, like 11 I think. Today when I picked DS up, I talked to the evening teacher about it (She is one of the original teachers) and she said even she feels like she can't handle the kids like she should and that she would talk to the director as well. We never met the new teacher until one day we dropped DS off and she was suddenly there. . I'm just so confused on this situation :/


Quoting calsmom62:

I used to be an Asst director at a childcare ctr, and the behavior you are describing strikes me as a teacher who might be insecure and inadequately equipped for her job. Parents might be giving her more insecurity and she may try to rush you out. Does she have a co teacher or an aide? is her room observable or open at all? If after several conversations with the director have had no effect, and hopefully you all three met before ds was moved into the room, you might have to look at a more nurturing environment for ds.


 

veganistic
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:50 PM
I Would change centers right away. Not someone I want teaching my child, and your ds doesn't want her either.
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mommaalways247
by Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:51 PM

 When DS was with his bio mom, he wasnt around anyone other than her. We want him around kids. We feel that is the best thing for him. .Not to mention, he has to be in daycare because both myself and my husband work those two days at the same time. The rest of the week we work opposite shifts so he is able to be home with one of us. . When we pick him up now, its like he cant get out the door fast enough, unless he has one of his old teachers in the afternoon and then he doesnt wanna leave.


Quoting frndlyfn:

A 2 yr old typically isnt overly social so not sure exactly why he needs to be around other children when you are having issues with the current workers.  How is he when you come to piick him up?  I agree with the other poster that the behavior could be of an insecure person who feels extra pressure if the parents stay longer than just dropping the child off.


 

veganistic
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:53 PM
This is a really good point. At two he might be better off going to the park, Play group, or library story time to interact.

Quoting frndlyfn:

A 2 yr old typically isnt overly social so not sure exactly why he needs to be around other children when you are having issues with the current workers.  How is he when you come to piick him up?  I agree with the other poster that the behavior could be of an insecure person who feels extra pressure if the parents stay longer than just dropping the child off.

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Lizard_Lina
by on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:54 PM
Sittercity.com
See if you can find a home day care
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mommaalways247
by Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:55 PM

 HE HAS TO BE IN DAYCARE TWO DAYS OUT OF THE WEEK. Not only do we feel he needs to be around other children BUT, my husband and I work the same shift those two days. The rest of the week we work opposite shifts and are able to be home with him.


Quoting veganistic:

This is a really good point. At two he might be better off going to the park, Play group, or library story time to interact.

Quoting frndlyfn:

A 2 yr old typically isnt overly social so not sure exactly why he needs to be around other children when you are having issues with the current workers.  How is he when you come to piick him up?  I agree with the other poster that the behavior could be of an insecure person who feels extra pressure if the parents stay longer than just dropping the child off.


 

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Mar. 26, 2013 at 8:57 PM

Ok working the same shift makes sense for needing childcare.   There are other ways for him to be around other children outside of daycare if it werent needed due to working.  Don't settle for this place if you do not feel comfortable with the changes.  I am sure there are many options where you live.


Quoting mommaalways247:

 HE HAS TO BE IN DAYCARE TWO DAYS OUT OF THE WEEK. Not only do we feel he needs to be around other children BUT, my husband and I work the same shift those two days. The rest of the week we work opposite shifts and are able to be home with him.


Quoting veganistic:

This is a really good point. At two he might be better off going to the park, Play group, or library story time to interact.

Quoting frndlyfn:

A 2 yr old typically isnt overly social so not sure exactly why he needs to be around other children when you are having issues with the current workers.  How is he when you come to piick him up?  I agree with the other poster that the behavior could be of an insecure person who feels extra pressure if the parents stay longer than just dropping the child off.





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