OMG! If you don't know our baby chris story read This POST FIRST
Got the call this morning and it is finally official that C is my husband's! This has taken over 2 years for us to prove and fight for and I'm so relieved and happy!
We have court coming up, a review not for placement but case worker seems more willing to work with us and told us how it's all going to go. It's still going to be a while, and we won't get both c and b at the same time, might not get b... but we're not going to stop fighting!
I just want to say thank you so much for all your kind words and support I really appeciate it! And I know your prayers and good thoughts helped!
Whew it as been a crazy past two days. The 10th was court... and even though we had been told that we would be called in to the court room and be able to talk to the judge. We were denied. The case worker did not call us in (later stating that we did not call back and confirm with her, but she had never said there was a need to) we finally got a hold of her supervisor who gave us the court houses number and said call they'll transfer you in. However upon calling we realized no one has given us the case number and the secretary "couldn't find the case, must not of happened".
So we did more calling and finally the case worker called. She stated "We found out today that you don't need a homestudy, however then I brought up your age, so we were asked to do more research and figure that all out, next court is JULY 8TH!" So they delayed everything until his birthday 3 months from now! Purely based on age!
So we called the Governor of Nebraska and spoke to his aid. And during that my mother called the courthouse to figure out what happened why she couldn't find the case and transfer us. First the secretary told her that it was post-poned and never happend. When my mother stated that the case worker must of lied to us about what happend in court, the secretary checked again and found it right away. So she prevented us from being in court, and we don't know why.
The aid said he didn't know how much he could do but that he'd at least call the director of their cps and get him to take a look and figure out why they are discriminating against us because of age.
Then today 4/11 someone, can't remember his name, but from the governors office, calls my husband while I'm out of the house. And Derek all groggy just waking up says he's ashamed he didn't speak more, but the guy pretty much said that his legal team will be looking into it and he will do all he can to get us Christopher ASAP! Because he agrees that it's ridiculous and age discrimination!
OH, just realized I never updated after last friday... um... okay this is hard... probably why I hadn't updated ya'll. About B the 4 yr old, we will not be getting to adopt him... Nebraska has a law that biological family comes first, and our connection via C is not enough to count so since his Grandma (their foster mom now and the lady who raised their abuser, the one our old case worker said had an unhealthy attachement etc) has stepped up and petitioned for him we will not be getting him. The Hawaii case worker blind sided us with this, Nebraska had just lied and said it was still possible then told Hawaii it wasn't. Hawaii handed us papers to sign saying we no longer wanted him. Of course we refused to sign, we do still want him, and we'll attempt to fight, but at this point it seems like no hope. :( I feel like I've lost a child, for over a year now we've been told we'll get both, we'll get both. So it's really hard to know that that little boy has to stay with family who might let his absuer back into his life (they have before) and that he has to stay around him. It's just really hard. I want to give that little boy all the he deserves and more, I want to hug and kiss him and know that he is safe, but I won't ever be able to. I think the pain and grief of that is what really kicked our butts in gear to fight harder for C. We've been playing CPS's game and being patient (sp) push overs because we didn't want to hurt our chances of getting B. But at this point, we're just done.
Hopefully this legal team will call us back this week, like promised and it'll be good news.
Well not much has happened, no one is helping us anymore. We did just do a homestudy but shouldn't take too long since they are just updating the past one. So should already be finished and heading to Nebraska. Court is tomorrow so we'll see what happens there. Legal father has completed his counseling to terminate rights so that should be deal with this court date. Grandparents petitioned to intervene on the case but not sure if petition was granted. We finally got the full story per the court on what happened. I sat in the car reading it as I had grabbed the mail on our way out to grocery shop. Bawling my eyes out. It talks about how legal father held a pillow over C's face when he was just 2 months old "because he wouldn't stop fussing" how when B was 2 months that same guy burned his fingers with a lighter and held a pillow over his face as well. At one point both parents tried to blame B for C's brain bleed stating he threw a toy truck at his head, and at another time that they found him curled up in the crib with C and C was screaming. How Legal father had burned down a building in a rage. That he beat Amber so she'd put him on birth certifacte for C. How LF had slapped B full in the face and numerously bounced his head off the wall. It went on and on.
B came in with burn marks on his feet and when asked clearly said "daddy did it" his first foster mom said he had nightmares where he repeatdly cried out "Don't let my daddy get me, Daddy's going to get me" and yet the grandmother who has him thinks that his father is innocent that he didn't do any of this. At 2 years old I doubt he's making things up in his dreams!!! Reading this made me want to vomit, how could they allow the children to be with the grandmother who was there for most of this abuse (states she walked in on LF burning B when he was younger) and failed to protect them before!!!! UGGG!!!
I just pray that we get good news tomorrow and that things start to look up, those boys deserve so much more than what they have been given!
We finally have a court appointed laywer yay! Finally someone to represent us. We've been trying to get a lawyer since the start! Whoohoo!! Didn't sound like anything really happened at it. She brought up something I though we had already solved (the insurance) but I guess she's saying she didn't get my voicemail but oh well we'll get that sorted now as I just emailed her the information we need from her to get it.
I went down to the MP's and got a letter stating there was no domestic violence that happened in our house or that I was a victim of. But I guess that wasn't good enough they now want D's name on it too. So as soon as he wakes up (Night shift) we have a ton of running around to do. Get this done ASAP, but I am upset that she didn't mention anything about getting 'visitation' it'd be nice to get skype or phone calls but I guess that isnt' happening or wasn't even brought up. Grawr... but small victory in the lawyer so going to focus on that.
10/3/13 Sorry my laptop broke so I couldn't update sooner. We have moved back to Michigan from Hawaii! YAY! And we got to see Chris!!! YAYAYAYAYAYA! We made it just in time (we landed on the 20th in Michigan, and court was the 23rd) to drive down to Nebraska for court. We got to see him before hand and he is so cute and he connected almost right away with Derek. He doesn't speak much because of the abuse, but he kept saying "mine, mine daddy" the second day we saw him and didn't want to leave Derek at all. Court went crappy, our lawyer sucked big time! Hope to have a new one by the time we get down there again. He didn't say anything that needed to be said but the judge seemed really on our side, he said a few times to the other lawyers "You need to remember that he is the DAD!" so they continued court till October 29th and want us to do more visitation before then. But also wanted us to do a homestudy. We still don't have a home here in Michigan (staying with my Aunt) but pretty sure that we'll have a place to rent tomorrow just waiting for a call back. And we got a car today so we can go down and see him again without my mom having to take more vacation time. So we are pulling everything together and hopefully come OCtober 29th we'll be granted custody. We will be going back down on the 15th and trying to get visitation as many times as we can! Prayers are still needed I can't wait until he's not a foster child and we can post pictures because he's adorable :)
We've been down here since the 15th and have had visitation every day. At first it was only 4 hours superivised, and case worker had doubts we'd make it to overnights at all. That first visit was rough, Foster Mom was such a distraction to him, and it was awkward to parent in front of her. Felt very judge, after all she's attempting to get custody too. Thankfully the supervisor realized just how much of a problem she was being (like how she got a hamburger when we got pizza and then C wanted a hamburger too, and how everytime we'd get him calmed down to eat pizza she'd walk by us again and get him all upset) so she was told not to be at visits anymore. The next ones went GREAT! he'sbonding well with us, is always excited to see us and supervisors consistently said that they had no concerns with us. So we get unsupervised starting this past Tuesday. With just a drop in a day to see how things are going. Wednesday when we took him to his physical therapy that foster mom said he went to weekly, they said they hadn't see him since August. AUGUST! That's 2 months! We were furious!
We called the case worker right away, because between missing that much therapy and her "forgetting" to send his medical brace, we felt like his medical needs were not being met. Not to mention the smoking in the house with him, this poor boy still had hair that smelled like smoke after 4 hours at a water park! We were concerned that she might not be giving him his seizure meds.
We were denied a emergency placement on the basis of not enough 'physica' evidence of neglect. However she did ask us how much time we wanted this weekend to which we replied as much as possible. She said before she could do overnights she'd have to ask supervisor but since no one has any concerns about us after all our supervised visits that the judge would see her as 'being selfish if i didn't just give you guys what you ask for' so a few hours later we got the call. He is with us starting from today till we drop him off at daycare before court on tuesday! 5 WHOLE DAYS NO GOING BACK TO FOSTER MOM! Hopefully he won't ever have to go back there because court will decide to place him with us.
When we dropped him off last night foster mom said that she was resigned to the fact that we would get custody that D is his dad and that we are not the bad guys in this. That she's not going to stop the fight but that she isn't going to fight much harder than what she is right now, because she knows in the end we will get him. So hopefully that means that his lawyer won't call my husband or myself to the stand like the case worker warned us he might and that she just keeps this a peaceful transition. We've already promised skype and phone calls between them and C since they will have his brother B. I just am so excited that he is here with us full time for now, and that we are taking care of his medical needs (Although she told us a different dose of his medicine than what the bottle says so we have a call into case worker, and finally got his brace from her, and we made an appt for another phsycial therapy session on monday.)
As always we can still use your prayers and good thoughts. Hopefully court goes well on the 29th.
So happy to report that after much deliberation, both my husband and I being forced to testify, and grilled by lawyers, the judge deliberating for 10 minutes going back and forth... WE WERE GRANTED CUSTODY!!!! OMG!!! I was shaking so bad at the end. He's spending one last night with foster mom as she cried and asked to say good bye and we agreed. We pick him up tomorrow right after check out.
Due to the medical neglect that she did, they are now reviewing his brother case and will be figuring out whats best for him and reprecussions of not seeking help for C. So they asked us if B was to be pulled out of foster mom's home (who's hoping to adopt next month) if we would want him. That was a big loud, both of us talking over each other YES!!!
SO time will tell what more comes our way, at this point, we're just excited to take him home tomorrow!
We've had C for about 4 months now. Foster mom had said that he had 3-4 seizures a week, that he had lots of trouble with balance and walking, and wasn't really speaking. Well I'm happy to report that after getting him better shoes, his size stride rites instead of his 2 sizes too big, huge plasic non bending obviously used shoes, his balance is much better to where we barely ever use his pressure vest. He still has bad days where he's too hyper, or too tired to focus on making his left foot turn in instead of too far left, but he's doing SO much better with that.
His speaking was still worrying us until last month. Boy did he ever just start talking about everything last month. We stopped using the sign language for the most part and focused on him using his words. Seems to have helped a lot.
As for the seizures, we had 3 big seizures, mostly while he was overly upset. The first one being when we took him back from foster mom for the first time. He was all upset because she threw him in my arms and shouted just take him. Yea, was not a good transition. He saw his new neurologist for the first time yesterday, and had an EEG. They said that he was a bit slow but very very mild of shaken baby, almost normal!!! He does still have about 2 seizures a week, at night. He'll be dizzy, angery, and won't eat the whole day if he has one at night. So they are upping one of his meds to hopefully stop those.
Dr doesn't think he needs physical therapy, maybe vision therapy to help with his eye that turns in, but other than that, he doesn't want to see us for 4 months! C was going to his neuro every month down there.
We are just so happy that he is doing so well with us! He's so bonded with his dad and his brother. He was asleep when we dropped his brother off at my mom's so we could stay the night at a friends and then go to neuro really early since it was a huge children's hospital 2 hours away in the town my friend happens to go to college in YAY! So when he woke up and saw that bro's car seat was gone he freaked out "NO BOBO MAMA! NO BOBO!" took a bit to calm him down and make he realize that we'd see bobo later.
But he made me smile huge during his appoinment. They needed one of us to hold him for his EEG, and he's more comfortable with Dad than with me, they bonded like instantly. So I had D hold him, but while they were putting the stuff on his head he kept reaching for me, and kept grabbing my hand and putting on his belly and wanting me to hold him close. He wanted mommy too!
Here's a pic of happy boy getting his head wrapped so he'd leave the wires for the EEG in place.
Life is all GOOD!
After posting this, life was not all good. I found out that my husband had been cheating, tons. It's just harder to hide not on a military base. And when he does it with my cousin... anyway. So we split but tried to live together because we couldn't afford to start over and I was trying to keep the boys' world together. But then my ex got abusive, and I left. I tried to get both boys away and was threatened with kidnapping of C (who we now call E to help protect from his biomom) I'd get to see him once in a while as Derek my ex failed to visit Alijah. (He missed 11 out of 22 visits while trying to prove he was consistent enough for over nights) Eventually Derek started giving me weeks at a time with E. In January he hit rock bottom, got kicked out of his cousins house and was homeless. Through a series of events he gave me E and power of attorney for him. He's been at my house since and I'm working towards custody of him.
He's almost enrolled in head start again, that gets finished tomorrow, and back on his meds (his dumba** dad took him off his seizure meds and he started having bad seizures again.) and we are doing good. He's speaking full sentences now! Can balance without his pressure vest! And his eyes are less cross eyed and we get new glasses here soon too! I'm so glad that he's back in my life and that I'm getting him back on track and that as he grows older he's getting better on his own too!
I just wanted to update all of you because I know that a lot of you were praying for him and because I'm back on cafemom, mostly on the custody boards for some more support during this rough time of dealing with visits and the tantrums that come after them, bench warrants for lack of support (nothing since november even though I have both kids) and sending a kiddo to school (I'm so not ready for that!)
I have decided to file for full guardianshipt of C. I've talked to free legal aid who didn't get back to me about it. So a friend suggested I start a gofundme account to see if I could get any help with legal fees for a lawyer. This may be a long shot but figured I'd post the link and see if anyone could help even a little bit. Thank you so much. He's doing so good at school and I finally found a pediatrician who is going to help get all the services needed for him. He is going to hearing tests, speech tests, ear nose and throat to see about his tubes, and physical therapy evals. Plus he's started school and is loving it. I don't want to see his dad pick him up and tear him away from all this progress, especially when this dr called to get his records he failed to take him to even his 3 yr check up, his 5 month eye follow up etc so he is not getting his medical needs met with his father at all!