Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Dh might be taking a job interstate

Posted by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:07 AM
  • 13 Replies
1 mom liked this
We survive on the money we earn now but it's a very tight budget, dh might be taking a job in the next state, we won't be going with him since this job will only be for 1 year, he said he will fly back every 3 weeks or so and we can go there, we have never been apart, but it's the separation from the kids that worries me. Before anyone says anything our marriage is good, he is doing it for our family so we can get bills paid on time etc. just wanting to hear from people who experience something similar
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:07 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
SissyAnn141
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 3:28 AM

BUMP!

SissyAnn141
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 3:29 AM

welcome to cafemom 

TableforSeven
by Judy on Mar. 29, 2013 at 3:36 AM

A company my DH worked for years ago forced him to hold 2 offices.  One in Philadelphia -- which was only 90 mins from our home and where he already commuted to daily.....the other in California.  He had to alternate offices weekly....so he was gone half the time.  It was hell!!!! I hated not having him home...the kids hated him not being here....we were miserable.  That lasted for about 4 months...then I was in a car accident and injured and he had to come home to take care of me and the kids....the company didnt force him to keep commuting while I was hurt and going through physical therapy.  By the time I was better - we had made the decision that we couldn't handle him going back to that type of schedule and he found a different job (for a pay cut....but worth it to have him home where he belonged).

SissyAnn141
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 3:41 AM

BUMP!

lovelove211
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 5:28 AM
Oh my, I hope you're okay after the accident. And that's what I'm afraid of, we only been apart for a few nights at a time since being married and the kids love their daddy, they would miss him so much


Quoting TableforSeven:

A company my DH worked for years ago forced him to hold 2 offices.  One in Philadelphia -- which was only 90 mins from our home and where he already commuted to daily.....the other in California.  He had to alternate offices weekly....so he was gone half the time.  It was hell!!!! I hated not having him home...the kids hated him not being here....we were miserable.  That lasted for about 4 months...then I was in a car accident and injured and he had to come home to take care of me and the kids....the company didnt force him to keep commuting while I was hurt and going through physical therapy.  By the time I was better - we had made the decision that we couldn't handle him going back to that type of schedule and he found a different job (for a pay cut....but worth it to have him home where he belonged).


Posted on CafeMom Mobile
TableforSeven
by Judy on Mar. 29, 2013 at 5:43 AM

Yes, I am ok now.....the accident was 4 years ago this coming Sunday.

Sadly DH had occasionally traveled for work for a few years before the two office thing...and it was usually for a week ata time - mostly because most of his traveling was to Norway.  We all hated it....even when that was only a week or so every few months.

You and your DH have to sit down and think about how much the money will REALLY help.  If you plan frequent trips to visit each other.....consider travel costs -- are they going to eat a huge chunk of the extra income?  Think about doing EVERYTHING at home, every day, with no real breaks -- are you really ok with that?

DH had not planned to work a job where he would be traveling at all....at least not until the kids were grown.  When he applied for the job that started sending him to Norway, he specifically asked about travel and was told there would be none......but the company went through a down-sizing and he had e choice to move to a department that would include travel or look for another job -- we agreed it was not the right time for him to be looking for a new job at that point.  The job with the two offices on opposite sides of the country was another 'not a choice' -- his position was sold to a west-coast company....again, this was not the right time to job-hunt....though he did start looking 6 months later anyway.  Because all of his travel was work-related, we didnt have to pay for any of it (and he did rack up enough frequent flier miles for us to travel for free to Israel for our anniversary in 2011).

Good luck with whatever you choose!

Quoting lovelove211:

Oh my, I hope you're okay after the accident. And that's what I'm afraid of, we only been apart for a few nights at a time since being married and the kids love their daddy, they would miss him so much


Quoting TableforSeven:

A company my DH worked for years ago forced him to hold 2 offices.  One in Philadelphia -- which was only 90 mins from our home and where he already commuted to daily.....the other in California.  He had to alternate offices weekly....so he was gone half the time.  It was hell!!!! I hated not having him home...the kids hated him not being here....we were miserable.  That lasted for about 4 months...then I was in a car accident and injured and he had to come home to take care of me and the kids....the company didnt force him to keep commuting while I was hurt and going through physical therapy.  By the time I was better - we had made the decision that we couldn't handle him going back to that type of schedule and he found a different job (for a pay cut....but worth it to have him home where he belonged).




cgarlic
by Silver Member on Mar. 29, 2013 at 9:00 AM
We are dealing with this right now. My dh took a job 2 months ago that is 8 hours away. It's very tough on our children especially his son from a previous. Our older two, 12 & 8, understand why he is doing it, but not why he can't come home more. Our youngest, 19 months, doesn't get it at all, she refuses to Skype or talk to him on the phone. This breaks his heart. Our marriage is also very new (2 years in May). As a previous poster said make sure you can handle it physically, emotionally, etc. Somedays I feel as if I'm a single mom all over again.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
notjstasocermom
by Samantha on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:51 PM

imo it probably won't be worth it, does he realize how expensive it is gonna be to fly home every 3 weeks?

RADmomma
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 12:57 PM
I think you need to run the numbers. Traveling home every 3 weeks will probably cut into the extra $
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
kss12
by on Mar. 29, 2013 at 1:03 PM
I haven't gone through it but my parents have gone though that. If your kids aren't in school why wouldn't you just move with him? I know it's only for a year but no matter what the circumstances I wouldn't and couldn't be away from my hubby for that long.
I saw everyone posting about the cost it would be to fly back and forth or fly you back and forth but I'm assuming the company will pay for that right? I'm assuming that was part of the deal prior to him accepting the job. That's what happened with my parents anyway!!!
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)