See what CafeMoms are saying about saving time this holiday season..
my dd and my mom were very close and she is 5 years old and is always very worried about her nanna. My mom has been very mentally ill for years and we stopped talking in October because I couldn't take the emotional abuse any longer and watch her stress my dd out any more. So I stayed away from her and that only made it worse, she lost it when she could no longer get to me and my kids.
My mom and I were very close up until the past 2-3 years it started to get really bad with her, she started getting very mean and she would constantly make up health problems with her to get attention. It goes into a lot more then I am going to go but lets just say it has been very difficult. I told her she needs to get help because she is mentally ill and she refused to admit to anything. It got so bad that she was trying to commit suicide at least once a month at least. It happened so much that my family stopped telling me when it would happen. Well yesterday my mom called me at 3pm she changed her phone number to get around the restriction on my phone. I yelled at her, she caught me off guard and I did not want to deal with her calling to stir everything up again and cry and yell and do whatever she was going to do. She asked me if I was going to always hate her and I had to tell her that I just am not doing this and I hung up. I love her but I wanted her to go get help and no one would back me up to make her even though they all knew she needed it.
Well I got home and fed my kids dinner and my dh left to get something and right as Iwas getting my baby out of the bath I got a call that would change my life forever. My step dad went to get take out and came home to find he was locked out of the house and by the time he got home and got in the house and found her in the garage she was already gone. My mom Killed her self Thursday evening. He did everything he could till the emt arrived and he called me and I was down there as soon as my dh hauled ass home to sit and watch them work on my mom for 30 minutes at her house and 40 minutes at the er.
It doesn't feel real to me. I feel completely hollow, like someone took every drop of air out of me I dont know how to function right. I can't sleep. Every time I close my eyes I see the rope and chair. I think I will be ok and then all of a sudden I feel tears falling and I am sobbing and didn't even realize it. I have 3 kids and I am nursing my 8m baby girl. I haven't told them yet what happened. I didn't want my oldest (dd is 5) to have this tied to Easter for the rest of her life. She is always so worried about my mom she talks about her all the time. My mom thought she was going blind once and said the sun was burning her eyes and she taped her eyes shut to keep the light out, well my dd seen her like that and cried for weeks because she thought her nanna was going to die. That's when I knew without a doubt I needed to save her from the pain my mom was causing everyone.
So my question is.. How do I explain this to my dd? Tell her that her nanna was really sick and that her heavenly father needed her back in heaven? That she went to live in heaven with her daddy (my grandpa)? what is except-able for a 5 year old because I am terrified to do this and have it break her too and my baby girl, my sweet innocent happy go lucky worried about everyone's well being baby girl will just be broken. What do I do, someone please help me and please don't be mean because I am already blaming my self for breaking my mom and pushing her to this.