May I make a suggestion, as a mom of a 14 yr old, high functioning child. Keep a detailed daily journal. Because they are going to ask you the same questions over and over. Be sure you know his developmental ages, when he started talking, walking, etc. Put this info on the inside of the cover. And in your journal take a RED pen and right your questions down across the top of the page. When you have an appointment coming up, turn to the VERY next blank page, write across the top in large letters, "QUESTIONS" and the date of the appointment. Leave space between writing down each question to write with blue or black the answers to you questions. Then when you go to ANY doctor take this journal with you. It's a good idea to have a pic of him on the front inside cover,(change this out, EVERYTIME, he gets his pics made. Also a copy of his ins card. That way if your wallet is lost (as I often do) you have a backup of everything you need.
I wish that I would have thought of this in the beginning of our journey 14 yrs ago, I am still seeing the exact same neurologist as we did at 3 and they STILL want all dev info.
Anyone needing help or any questions (ask me ANYTHING) related to autism contact me anytime, I will do my best to help you with whatever you are going thru or if you just need to talk.
Then as far as the IEP goes. You are with your child more than anyone! Tell them what he needs. Also you can ask if they will retest him if you have concerns about your diagnosis. Take all papers that you have with you. At his age make a picture schedule with real pics and velcro, when he completes the task he moves it over to the completed column. Do this for everything (get up, brush teeth, brush hair, etc). Ask them to make one at school just as detailed. This will help with meltdowns. If he has a lot of meltdowns, ask his teacher if she can make a small space somewhere in the room that would be "his safe place, have a CD player or music device with some music that will calm him down.This will be a place that he can go ANYTIME that he feels overwhelmed and when he is calm, he goes back and joins in what the class is doing. But he will need some safe territory or they will be calling every day They will do this if they have any experience with autistic children.