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How do you make your marriage work when the step child doesn't seem to get along with your children?

Posted by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:29 PM
  • 6 Replies
I'm engaged to be married,we have 5 children together(all boys)they range from the ages of 20 down to 5 years-old. The middle child,who's 13,has started to complain about my 7 and 5 year-old a lot. At the beginning of our relationship the teenager was fine with everything and everyone,but now he's complained that we make him do things he doesn't want to do and just recently complianed that when my children are playing with him they're hitting him too hard. Mind you,this is a boy who wants to play Football. We've even told him,"you want to play sports,but you can't handle little kids playing around with you?". I have asked my sons to leave him alone and explained that I'm not mad at them,that it's just the 13 year-old's issue.... HELP!!!
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:29 PM
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Replies (1-6):
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:40 PM
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You need to build a team amongst the children and realize that 13 is an age where they can turn back into toddlers in manner of complaining.  Does he let them know they are playing too rough around him?   Right now i am taking care of a 5 yr old girl and i have a 7 yr old dd.  I know how they can bounce off each others energy and cause more mischief.   Respect will be key for the family to work out as well as communication with each other.

Kers
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 3:51 PM

Thank you!:). I asked him if he has told them and he says he has. I'm new at this step-mom,teenager raising thing,so every opinion means a lot.

LuLuRex
by Silver Member on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:02 PM
1 mom liked this

Communication is key as everyone figures out the family dynamic. As long as you are always reaching out to hear all sides of the story, I'm sure everything will be fine ((hugs)).

SnapIt
by Movin' on up on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:20 PM

maybe they are playing too rough with him and may get carried away 

lil ones usually do that. I myself wouldnt have the patience to deal with a lil one jumping on me too hard. There are limits, even if he wants to play football. That doesnt mean anything. Even if he wasnt their step brother, with that many kids in a house siblings would react the same from time to time. You would be dealing with this same issue. If it was that way, would you let it break up your marriage?

NDADanceMom
by on Apr. 3, 2013 at 5:36 PM
Can he hit back with force as he can on football? If not your kids better keep their hands to themselves
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FENBOT
by on May. 2, 2013 at 1:55 PM
2 moms liked this

Remember each child needs there own space.   There own place to retreat and be able to have some alone time.  You have a very large family in todays' world and society has placed children above all esle.   In order to ensure compliance with your SS it is imperitative that BD spend alot of one on one time with him as he enters this next challenging and difficult phase of his life.   He likely doesn't want little kids hanging off him or bugging him all the time and that is how he sees it.   Notice when you SS does play well with his siblings point it out and offer praise, and suggest alternatives for your SS when he doesn't want to play with his siblings.   Offer to take him to a friends place, or swimming with a friend, or to watch a movie in the privacy of his own room.   Do the same for the little ones too.   And then make time for "family", where everyone plays together!   It's also important for SM and Step Siblings to have one on one time too!   We do date nights once a month.  It's alot of work - but the effort goes along way!

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