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Mother-in-Law problems...

Posted by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 5:53 PM
  • 13 Replies

So I have a question.  My husband's mother emotionally and verbally abuses him, undermines his authority in front of his children, and acts like a complete bitch to everyone in the house.  And reminds her children they "promised" not to put her in a home.  We are moving away from her soon, and considering completely cutting her off.  She is not brave enough to dare speak to me in the manner she speaks to him.  Thoughts?

by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 5:53 PM
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Replies (1-10):
coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 6:32 PM
I would first see what the distance does to your relationship. Once you move, I'm guessing she won't be able to be as bad. If she is, then I would choose to cut her loose.
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LizzieAnnesMom
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 7:53 PM

I would make sure she wouldnt dare speak to DH just like she wouldnt dare speak to you that way. I would cut her ass off.

Lovemyshadows
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:00 PM

Cut her off.  The kids see this behavior and think they can repeat it.  She's toxic.

calsmom62
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 8:07 PM
4 moms liked this
And after you move, start sending her brochures of long term care homes you think are perfect for her.
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auntangelofsix
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 9:35 PM
I agree

Quoting Lovemyshadows:

Cut her off.  The kids see this behavior and think they can repeat it.  She's toxic.

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KJH78
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 9:48 PM

Your husband needs to redefine the boundaries and stand up for himself. My FIL was similar to this and after a few years of me being in the family my husband started standing up for himself (and my MIL too) so he doesn't act like that towards him now. Otherwise, if the boundaries can't be respected then he can decide what kind of relationship he has with his mom it shouldn't be up to her.

NavyWifeCV67
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:22 PM

"Toxic" is exactly how our marriage counselor referred to her.  I was beginning to fear that my son's tendency of yelling at his father and being more disobedient to him than me might be due to what he sees.  Thanks.


Quoting Lovemyshadows:

Cut her off.  The kids see this behavior and think they can repeat it.  She's toxic.



I_need_a_name
by on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:24 PM
Id make DH defend himself. I have done it before. Ive talked to shit to her too cause I cant stand that b****.
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quickbooksworm
by Silver Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:26 PM

My mother has a tendency to behave this way.  I cut her off completely at one point.  Then every time she got nasty with me I'd hang up.  Every time she undermined my authority in front of my child, we would leave her house (I don't invite her and her husband to my house).  After about a year of doing this, they both finally learned that even though I am my mother's child, I still have to be treated with the same respect that they give my step siblings.  We only live 20 miles apart (in the same city, it's a big city) but I can make those 20 miles feel like 200.

blue_apalt
by Member on Apr. 6, 2013 at 11:29 PM



Quoting coolmommy2x:

I would first see what the distance does to your relationship. Once you move, I'm guessing she won't be able to be as bad. If she is, then I would choose to cut her loose.

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