Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Need some opinions with boyfriend telling me how to parent my children

Posted by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:13 PM
  • 56 Replies
My boyfriend of three years has decided he wants to show his concerns with how I trust and parent my children...my daughter 16yrs and son 14yrs and I have an open relationship that we can talk about good or bad...praise or discipline...however now my boyfriend feels he can tell me that I should not trust them with certain things and has even to ld me that he's talked to his brother about how he thinks I am gullible and stupid...he also has children Rolf his own...6,8, and 14...he wants to tell me I should discipline my children similar to how he does his. I feel my children are my responsibility and while I appreciate that he shows care to my children, he really has no place in telling me how to trust or parent my children unless I ask for his opinion. Please tell me what u think...
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:13 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
AutymsMommy
by Ruby Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:14 PM
1 mom liked this
I agree with you.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
JoshRachelsMAMA
by JRM on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:15 PM
1 mom liked this
Tell him,not us.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Mama110981
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:21 PM
2 moms liked this
Well first off i wouldnt be too happy that hes telling u that hes telling his brother ur stupid and gullible. Thats not very nice... I think his advice/ input is his way of showing u support but he shouldnt be demanding u to raise ur children his way. They are ur responsibility, i mean idk how blended ur families are if hes another parenting role model for ur children or not. If hes trying to give u advice to help thats very nice of him but calling u stupid and gullible isnt. Just tell him ull take his advice into consideration.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Tilly9798
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:21 PM
I have told him...it's created quite an issue between us as I have never told him how to deal with his kids...but he sees no wrong with showing his concerns or insinuating inappropriate accusations...
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
jconney80
by Gold Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:26 PM
2 moms liked this
I think you've set appropriate boundaries with him and he should respect it.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mama110981
by Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:34 PM
1 mom liked this
I think u need to REset those boundaries with him. If its an issue and if hes talking down to u/abt u than maybe u should see that as red flags.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Schauseil
by Bronze Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:34 PM
I think it depends on your relationship with him. Its beem three years already, does he live with you? do you see this as a long term or life time thing? He isn't with just you, he is with your kids too. Its only natural that he would form a parental bond with them. And as such, I think he deserves at least some say in how they are raised.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Tilly9798
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:35 PM
I appreciate that he cares for my children's well being..but when it comes to personal issues...especially with my 16yr daughter and her boyfriend of over a year...I do not feel he has the right to make any remarks or accusations for something he may not have any proof on...obviously I am taking about if my daughter and boyfriend are sexually active...something that I openly talk to her about and put trust in that they are practicing absence...but his insinuating that I am stupid and gullible because of his own experiences with being a parent I feel are unacceptable.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Tilly9798
by on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:40 PM
1 mom liked this
3 years ago I welcomed him and his children into my home...it was a big change on all of us...and all that I expect is the same respect as he would want for himself and children...also the respect of my home...to treat it with pride.
Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Schauseil
by Bronze Member on Apr. 7, 2013 at 11:51 PM
He is probably right about your ds. Do you let her bf stay the night? Is she allowed at his house? If they are spending alot of time alone together I would call you stupid and gullible too.


Quoting Tilly9798:

I appreciate that he cares for my children's well being..but when it comes to personal issues...especially with my 16yr daughter and her boyfriend of over a year...I do not feel he has the right to make any remarks or accusations for something he may not have any proof on...obviously I am taking about if my daughter and boyfriend are sexually active...something that I openly talk to her about and put trust in that they are practicing absence...but his insinuating that I am stupid and gullible because of his own experiences with being a parent I feel are unacceptable.

Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)