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How would you feel?

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:02 AM
  • 8 Replies

 My dh and I have been together for 13 years in september and he has said some things to me that i cant seem to get out of my head. Since we were young when we got together (i was almost 17 and he was 19) I made some choices in our past im not really happy about now. He at one point said he wanted to go to school and I told him to go for it. He never has. Says he cant figure out what he wants to do. So Id encourage him in any way i could for him to follow his dreams. He hasnt and ended up getting a decent paying job instead. It requires him to travel away from home for weeks at a time. I had mentioned me  going to school several times, Instead of encouragement i get excuses of why i cant go. Or reasons why I wouldnt be good at certain career feilds i was interested in. Now he calims a few months back I dont have a personality! Then has recently said to me " Wher have you gone with your life? Look at how far ive come and the advancements Ive made in life .... What about you " WTH!!!!  Ive had to stay home and raise our four kids with no help emotionally physically everything because hes worked. I not only take car of the children i take care of the house the car maintence yard maintence and bills. I will admit my tiny home can be demolished in .2 seconds with the kids. I try my best I have changed what i cook.. healtheier etc.. when we first started out there was alot of hambuger helper haha. I am in charge of all the appointment making . i even have to arrange his appointments . yes i understand as i wife i am "supposed" to do alot of these things however i get no me time at all. i cant even poop alone! EVER. How am i supposed to advance in life when i cant work, get an education  or anything not even go to the grocery store by myself? I know it seems like im being a brat. Theres is more to this than what ive posted. Im so pissed offf that he could say im basically a loser when i feel HES the reason i havent been able to do anything with my self. ugh Sorry this probably seems like a bunch of ramble. Ill end it here . lol feel free to ask any questions. im open and honest :)

by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:02 AM
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Replies (1-8):
RADmomma
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:12 AM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry momma but I can tell you that I know the feeling all to well!!
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Tilly9798
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:38 AM
2 moms liked this
He's not supportive because he's got u where he wants u...and he makes demeaning comments to break at your self esteem to make u think u will not achieve your goals,,.a stay at home mother is a very busy and while enjoyable...very stressful...if your wish to further your career do not let a chauvinistic husband break you...
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NDADanceMom
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 7:48 AM
I have been with my husband since i was 16 and have several college degrees. I made my own choices, including to not live together until i graduated. My husband was never asked about my education. You can't blame yours for your lack of one. Go to school if that's what you want. Moms do it all the time.
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kidlover2
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:09 AM
1 mom liked this
You need to tell your dh how you feel. I would also say regardless of his opinions at this point you need to do something for you. Your miserableness is wearing off on him and someone needs to break the cycle. No more blaming each other for life choices, no more using each other as an excuse. You need to find something that makes you happy and do it. If he truly loves you, he's going to start seeing a difference in your mood, and be happy for you and supportive. If he becomes antagonistic and sullen, find a counselor who can work with both of you. What you're sharing in your post isn't a quick fix.
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coolmommy2x
by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:22 AM
I'm just guessing but it sounds to me like he's afraid if you go to school and try to make something of your life, you'll be better than he is and that probably scares him.

Figure out what you want to do and what it'll take to achieve that. Then start working on it. It might take a long time to get to the finish line but stay on the path. Support from your spouse is important but if he won't give it, don't let him take ruin it for you. You've supported him, he should do the same but change can be hard.
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notjstasocermom
by Samantha on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:26 AM

I would start school and prove him wrong.

sweetr0se
by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:31 AM
1 mom liked this

Wow that's a tough one with yoru kids sand that fact he supports you with his job that he's away from home a lot! Is there anyone else able to help like family members for a break?? Also maybe check into online schooling where you don't have to go to a classroom and maybe be more proactive in asking for help! That's what I would do, I'm not in your situation and I would feel hurt if my husband didn't support me or wasn't there for me. 

Mama110981
by Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 8:42 AM
1 mom liked this
Take care of urself and ur kids... He followed his dreams and goals theres no reason u cant follow urs. It may seem impossible but it isnt. Je should be supporting u the way uve supported him and if hes not doing that and even talking down to u thats should be a red flag going up.
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