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im 30 years old when the hell can i live my own life (advice please)

Posted by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:18 PM
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About a week ago my sister L asked if I was going to my cousin E's husband's party. I told her I know nothing about it. The other day my mom gets an invite & ask the same thing. I also told her I don't know anything about it. She said she will call my cousin C (E's sis) & ask. I told her not too cuz i probably wouldnt go anyway ( I have 3 kids & my dh works out of state).

Anyway I guess my mom said something to my sister A who asked E why I wasn't invited. So I just got a call from A explaining why I wasn't invited & that E didn't mean to exclude me, but was thinking about who was close to her husband & money, blah, blah, blah. E said I'm more then welcome to come just let her know. I'm so freaking embarassed now & I DIDN'T EVEN CARE IN THE FIRST PLACE! What would you do in this situation? Should I say something to my mom?
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by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:18 PM
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by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:20 PM


by Ruby Member on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:23 PM
I would call E and explain that you werde fine not being invited and you're sorry your family put her on the spot, have fun at the party. DH's family does this, drives me crazy.
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by on Apr. 8, 2013 at 9:25 PM

just tell your mom that you dont appreciate what she did and ask that in the future she let you handle stuff. If you felt you needed to say something you would have which obviously you didnt feel the need because like you said you probably wouldnt have been able to go in the first place. 

i know how embarassing it is cause my sister does it to me all the time so i just stopped telling her about it. I always ended up feeling awkward because i know after my sister said something to whoever it was, they only invited me because they felt obligated and that made me feel like an unwelcomed pity guest. And i felt obligated to go since everyone was now going out of their way to invite me. like i said, i just stopped saying anything to anyone if i get left out of stuff. 

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by Sapphire Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 12:05 AM

I agree .. you could call & let them know it was not a big deal to you :)

by New Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 1:32 AM
Its your decision, if you want to go! If it was me, I would think it through, make a decision to go or stay home! Family's can be a problem at times, its up to us to make those difficult decisions when our family is involved! We will always make someone unhappy in our family!
by Platinum Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 2:15 AM




     HELL NO !!!!!!!!!

   Tell me, I can come after -Family said something ?

   She could " kiss my ASS " !!!!!


by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 4:01 AM

be honest with E that while you appreciate it you understand her reasoning and decline. explain that your mother and sister took it upon themselves to inquire about the situation. and maybe tell mom and sis that you mean what you say and ask that they not do that again in the future


by Gold Member on Apr. 9, 2013 at 6:14 AM

 I would. But then it's taken me the better part of my 22yr marriage to speak up.

Speak owe it to yourself to be heard and not passively teach your children to be a doormat. (like I did)

by on Apr. 9, 2013 at 7:21 AM

Did you tell her "hey, sorry about that but mom thinks i should be invited to everything cause she still thinks am 12 lol either way i can't make it" make a joke, don't make it a big deal, there are other things am sure you can stress over that are worse than that... mom's are going to be mom's no matter what, we just have constantly remind them that your grown...

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