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Worst place to live

Posted by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 8:44 AM
  • 10 Replies
My boyfriend and I move to Hagerstown Maryland from Germantown Maryland he wanted to be closer to his son. I was warned that this town are a lot of racist people. I am black my husband is Italian {white}. Been here September will be 4 yrs. I absolutely hate it here. From the baby momma drama and his parents not liking me because we got married in a court house has if it was my idea. His parents have money and we are no way shape or form in there league. Before we moved up here the parents were really nice we would all go on vacations together. We moved up here got married and she was pissed because of it. So now she does not talk to me and it has made it more worse. I fell at my job in Germantown twice so has of July 2012 I no longer work. It was 2 major falls I need surgery called a lamincectomy and I have CHF my heart cannot take stress I will swell up at any given moment I have agina and edema so all of those problems I can not work. Worker~comp has been fighting it for 4 yrs. they just want to keep giving me pills and not do surgery. I want the surgery and I am well aware of the risk. I just want to get back to working so I can have my own money. I have already told my husband that I hate it up here and had soon has I get money I am gone. We can still be married he can stay here so he can be close to his son but I don't want to live here anymore. I am trapped in this house because if I go out stress starts to kick in and I start to swell up. I am on 4 kinds of HBP meds and on pain medications and Xanax. I do not need any more stress In my life. No money is keeping me trap here in this town. Prisoner in this house. I do not like if up here. We live in a very nice neighborhood the townhouse HE bought my name is not on it. I feel like since we moved up here everything has been bad. The CHF and all these BP meds did not come to light until we moved up here. The people are rude next door neighbors rents the townhouse next to us are nasty. Everything has gone down hill ever since we got married and him and I are not close to his parents because she is mad about the wedding. I do not know how to drive. I want our of this city and go back to any part of Maryland until I get this surgery and it is taking so long and I applied for SSD that's taking long has well. i have to stay close to maryland becsuse of the case. after that is said and done i am moving out of maryland I don't care about the marriage I love my husband and I know he is not going to move because he has a son in this town. I always tell him I think the town is taboo.
Is this wrong? I am miserable emotionally physically and mentally. Any advice has to what I should do?
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 8:44 AM
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Replies (1-10):
babyspots17
by Bronze Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 9:39 AM

I can understand hating a place that you live and wanting to move so badly you would consider living seperate.  But I think you really need to talk to your husband about all the issues you are dealing with and your feelings.  I think you are also probably dealing with depression that is not helping you find positives to you living situation.   I hope you can figure something out for your own health and sanity that will work with your marriage as well. 

LancesMom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 12:01 PM

I think you two should discuss moving together. Tell him what you told us! Tell him you will move, no matter what. Maybe he is not taking you seriously enough. Hugs!


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by Emerald Member on Apr. 17, 2013 at 12:05 PM

Welcome to the group,
I do agree with the others & think you tweo need to have a serious talk,
maybe you two can move together some where else.
Good luck hon :)

WeirdScience
by on Apr. 17, 2013 at 12:24 PM
In my opinion, you need to develop some strategy in your life. If you don't take control, consequence will control you. You really need to come up with your own income as leverage. Knowing your health, how much capacity for work do you have? Is there any room to improve your health through combination of medication,life style ,or diet (silly question without knowing?, plz forgive) Reason, some jobs are not physical but can lead you into an independent life without delving into student loans (debt is not good in this economy). My idea, try to become a bank teller or bookkeeping. These positions build a lot of credential and are excellent feeder opportunities to better paying jobs. Remember, experience is king (and everybody has degrees these days).

Apologize for throwing my comment up in the air without qualifying first. I hope the best for you!
:-)
Mae1967
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:26 AM
I wish I could work. It's impossible to do that. My health is not good at all. Bank teller or any job will put me to my death. I can not stand for long periods of time. Little chores I do around the house I sit then I continue that's in 5 minutes increments. After I do the little chores that I can do I start swelling up. Going to pain management doctor{ I do not drive} in another city I swell up so bad I will sleep for 2 days after. Then I have to take lasix. Stress is not on my side with my condition. My husband WILL not move because he has his son here. So believe me we have talked until the cows come home. Stress is not on my side with that either.
Being in this town is stress enough to make me have a heart attack. When I come into money from this case I am moving out. I have to think about my health. This place is not good for me.


Quoting hugss:

Welcome to the group,
I do agree with the others & think you tweo need to have a serious talk,
maybe you two can move together some where else.
Good luck hon :)


Posted on the NEW CafeMom Mobile
hugss
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Take some *Time Out* for You, Join our Friendly/Supportive group :)
Today at 12:17 AM
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by Emerald Member on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:30 AM

Big hugs to you hon :)

Quoting Mae1967:

I wish I could work. It's impossible to do that. My health is not good at all. Bank teller or any job will put me to my death. I can not stand for long periods of time. Little chores I do around the house I sit then I continue that's in 5 minutes increments. After I do the little chores that I can do I start swelling up. Going to pain management doctor{ I do not drive} in another city I swell up so bad I will sleep for 2 days after. Then I have to take lasix. Stress is not on my side with my condition. My husband WILL not move because he has his son here. So believe me we have talked until the cows come home. Stress is not on my side with that either.
Being in this town is stress enough to make me have a heart attack. When I come into money from this case I am moving out. I have to think about my health. This place is not good for me.


Quoting hugss:

Welcome to the group,
I do agree with the others & think you tweo need to have a serious talk,
maybe you two can move together some where else.
Good luck hon :)




Join us at
Time Out for You

Mae1967
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:32 AM
Not sure if you all can read what I wrote to
Weird science. If not then I will write it again for all too see. I appreciate what everyone is saying and I thank you for the advice and opinions.
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Mae1967
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 11:40 AM
If she wants to put it for everyone to see she is more welcome to do so. I am new to this. This is my iPhone that I write from. I am not ashamed nor will I be upset with any comments received from anyone. I am happy to hear everyone comments or suggestions rather good or bad I would love to read it.
Thank you
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Mae1967
by on Apr. 18, 2013 at 2:54 PM
I have CHF severe chronic back pain. Sitting for to long will cramp up my legs and cause swelling Walking or standing doing little chores around the house causes swelling. Angina edema I have all that. I need the surgery which is called lamincectomy and since I fell at the job one would think they would have approved it. {worker~comp} I have a lawyer he took the case pro bono cause he knows by all of the test I have been doing for over 7 yrs says so.
MRI I have taken that every year that states it has gotten worse. My numbers have increased over the years. I take morphine for the pain and other strong meds.
Epidural steroid injections, physical therapy
And all the meds I am on for my heart and HBP
There is no way I can work. I have worked since I was 14. GOD knows I want to go back
I am no stranger to it. I was working like that until I started swelling and did not know what it was. I could not breathe admitted to the hospital 3 days they took so... Many test and blood that is when I was diagnosed with CHF. So that on top of the lower part of my back L4 SI L5.
I already have a surgeon he is one of the best.
Pain management doctor is awesome has well.
Worker~comp stop paying for things so the lawyer has to sign in AA. Worker~comp knows I need this that's why they was approving just meds. Give her meds and that's it. Then they stop that. That is why the lawyer has to sign the AA form. I can tell when it will rain I can keep going on and on about me. By giving me this surgery which the neosursurgeon said it will be 2 possible 3 surgeries there are risk. Permantley inWheel chair loss of bowel movement lots and lots of side effects I am willing to risk that to get this done.
I am in pain everyday. Giving me all these meds are just a bandage. I don't want to take and get depended on these opioids seem like its to late. I told my husband if something goes wrong in the ER you let me go. DNR I am not living my life in pain anymore. He understands he does not agree with it but its my choice.

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Mae1967
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 11:11 AM
He has a son 9yrs old he sees him on Wednesday and every other weekend. I can not or will not tell him it's me or his son. And if we was going to move selling this house is not going to happen there are many houses in this great neighborhood that people have just left because of the economy. Stress on me is not good because of my situation. Not good for my heart. Arguing all the time I will have a heart attack. He knows I am serious.


Quoting LancesMom:

I think you two should discuss moving together. Tell him what you told us! Tell him you will move, no matter what. Maybe he is not taking you seriously enough. Hugs!


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