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four year olds

Posted by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:21 PM
  • 13 Replies
My son is four and it seems like there is just no pleasing him and he just always seems unhappy any ideas on what I can do for my baby
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by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:21 PM
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Replies (1-10):
manamott
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:24 PM
My 4 yo dd is the same way! Maybe it's the age lol sorry!
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ashley021201
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:25 PM
Yea maybe lol
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AlvertPartyOf6
by on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:26 PM
My DD is 4, and DS is 6, both of them are/were very happy little kids, so, I'm of no use. Here's a bump.
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:41 PM
1 mom liked this

What is he not happy about? Is he stuck in the whining phase?  I would offer him 2 choices for whenever he is upset.  This age is the pre pre pre teen stage LOL  It gives you a glimpse of what they will be like as teenagers and double/triple their current size.   

Allisonc7910
by Allison on Apr. 19, 2013 at 10:46 PM
I've never met a kid that was unhappy all the time, is he in school, activities?
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Seagodess
by Silver Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 12:43 AM

What do you mean by unhappy? Do you mean things that he normally likes to do don't make him happy anymore? Or that he is more bratty than before? I know when my son turned 4 he became a nightmare. I thought I was going to lose my mind daily from him not listening, arguing, whining and everything else. I dont know how he made to to 5.

erinsmom1964
by Ruby Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 1:59 AM
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Honestly ?  First stop thinking of him as your baby and think of him as a YOUNG man and treat him accordingly.  I have had now 4 -4 years olds and it seems to me alot of their problem is they see themselves as bigger than we treat them alot of times.  my DD just turned 4 and I find the easiest way to get her out of that is to give her tasks to do with me.  Putting away the dishes( I let her do the silver ware and tupperware), cooking( I let her stir everything and add the ingrediants)  cleaning a bathroom ( I spray and she wipes down and rinses), vaccuming( I hook up the hose and let her use it)  I don't mean like we did when they were 2 I mean take the time and effort to actually figure out a part they can do all by themselves and then thank them for their help.  


Actually sit down and talk to them, more importantly listen.  They will say funny outrageous things -feed into it.  For example my daughter told me to she needed to see me in her office...LOL  I followed her to her room and sat down while she went on to tell me about the dinosaur that had come to town and gotten sick ETC>  I acted serious and asked her questions and what I should do.  She explained it all on vivid detail it was awesome watching her imagination go.


It is an important developmental age where they are realizing they are separate people and they have their own thoughts and wants. that they themselves can do many things they have until now relied on you to do.  They want to be taken seriously and they want to help and learn desperately.  We tell them to act like a big boy/girl but sometimes we forget to take the time and get down to their level, eye to eye, and just listen and ask questions and teach them the simple things like how to wipe a mirror well.  THAT is how true self esteem is nurtured not by telling them they are wonderful and special but by teaching them simple things and allowing them to do them. ( even if at first it creates a bigger mess)  :)

spunky946
by Platinum Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 7:45 AM
What is he not happy about?
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ShadowLark
by Platinum Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:01 AM



Quoting erinsmom1964:

Honestly ?  First stop thinking of him as your baby and think of him as a YOUNG man and treat him accordingly.  I have had now 4 -4 years olds and it seems to me alot of their problem is they see themselves as bigger than we treat them alot of times.  my DD just turned 4 and I find the easiest way to get her out of that is to give her tasks to do with me.  Putting away the dishes( I let her do the silver ware and tupperware), cooking( I let her stir everything and add the ingrediants)  cleaning a bathroom ( I spray and she wipes down and rinses), vaccuming( I hook up the hose and let her use it)  I don't mean like we did when they were 2 I mean take the time and effort to actually figure out a part they can do all by themselves and then thank them for their help.  


Actually sit down and talk to them, more importantly listen.  They will say funny outrageous things -feed into it.  For example my daughter told me to she needed to see me in her office...LOL  I followed her to her room and sat down while she went on to tell me about the dinosaur that had come to town and gotten sick ETC>  I acted serious and asked her questions and what I should do.  She explained it all on vivid detail it was awesome watching her imagination go.


It is an important developmental age where they are realizing they are separate people and they have their own thoughts and wants. that they themselves can do many things they have until now relied on you to do.  They want to be taken seriously and they want to help and learn desperately.  We tell them to act like a big boy/girl but sometimes we forget to take the time and get down to their level, eye to eye, and just listen and ask questions and teach them the simple things like how to wipe a mirror well.  THAT is how true self esteem is nurtured not by telling them they are wonderful and special but by teaching them simple things and allowing them to do them. ( even if at first it creates a bigger mess)  :)

Ok, I was going to jump all over you.  "How can you say he's a MAN?  He's a CHILD, when do they get to be KIDS?"

But actually?  It's semantics!  I agree with EVERYTHING you just said!  Maybe that's why my 5 1/2 year old is so happy.  (And has been her whole life.)  She's ALWAYS helping with the baby!  (He's 12 months.)  She'll carry him around, she'll get him for me if he's trying to crawl up the stairs, she helps with the 2 year old, too.  And she LOVES coloring and showing me her art.  I need to let her help more in the kitchen, I just don't want the baby under foot.  Maybe if I give him some pots and pans and let my (Autistic developmentally delayed) six year old stir stuff, my five year old can help, too.  And the 2 1/2 year old does everything her sister does (or tries to).  It is so cool (and adorable) how she's gone from letting the 5 year old do everything with the baby to trying to help get the baby, too, all in the space of a year!

And before anyone jumps on me, the SECOND my five year old would rather do something else, she does.  If I ask her to grab the baby and she's busy, she's excused.  The only exception is if he's about to crawl into a poopy diaper that I'm changing.  She's a kid first, mommy's helper second.


CampClan
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2013 at 8:25 AM
I too have raised 4-4 years olds & am about to have #5 turn 4 next month. I absolutely love your advice! DS is certainly becoming more independent & definitely has a mind of his own!

Quoting erinsmom1964:

Honestly ?  First stop thinking of him as your baby and think of him as a YOUNG man and treat him accordingly.  I have had now 4 -4 years olds and it seems to me alot of their problem is they see themselves as bigger than we treat them alot of times.  my DD just turned 4 and I find the easiest way to get her out of that is to give her tasks to do with me.  Putting away the dishes( I let her do the silver ware and tupperware), cooking( I let her stir everything and add the ingrediants)  cleaning a bathroom ( I spray and she wipes down and rinses), vaccuming( I hook up the hose and let her use it)  I don't mean like we did when they were 2 I mean take the time and effort to actually figure out a part they can do all by themselves and then thank them for their help.  


Actually sit down and talk to them, more importantly listen.  They will say funny outrageous things -feed into it.  For example my daughter told me to she needed to see me in her office...LOL  I followed her to her room and sat down while she went on to tell me about the dinosaur that had come to town and gotten sick ETC>  I acted serious and asked her questions and what I should do.  She explained it all on vivid detail it was awesome watching her imagination go.


It is an important developmental age where they are realizing they are separate people and they have their own thoughts and wants. that they themselves can do many things they have until now relied on you to do.  They want to be taken seriously and they want to help and learn desperately.  We tell them to act like a big boy/girl but sometimes we forget to take the time and get down to their level, eye to eye, and just listen and ask questions and teach them the simple things like how to wipe a mirror well.  THAT is how true self esteem is nurtured not by telling them they are wonderful and special but by teaching them simple things and allowing them to do them. ( even if at first it creates a bigger mess)  :)

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