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Help with a 13 year old

Posted by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:48 PM
  • 12 Replies

I am writing on here because my step daughters parents and her step parents are all at a loose.  We do not know what to do.  We have taken her phone away, taken tv away, not allowed to go out with friends, no texting, kindle gone, everything from her door being taken off her room. We have threatened her with home schooling , she is not allowed to go to her end of the year formal at school.  Did I mention she is 13 in 8th grade.


this is all that we have found out

-she textes "dirty" to girls

-she came out os bi (we are fine with it but expect the same rules to apply as if it were a boyfriend)

- she slept at a girlfriends house that she told us was just a friend

-her friends text her about dry humping and some dude sucking on their nipples and her reply " I can do it better"

- she text about "turning someone on"

-she tells friends she cant do things when her mom and sis are over because were all going to court because her mom is trying to take away her dads happiness....MIND YOU this is not true and her mom and siblings are over for a BBQ at the exact moment.

-she is failing

-does not tail the truth for anything

-hangs with the wrong group

- found out she was skipping swimming when we drop her off everyday


this has been going on for 2 years.  we try goving her more chances but it keeps returning.  we have nothing else to take away.  Any Ideas

by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:48 PM
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Replies (1-10):
cerainwondrland
by Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:51 PM
Think it's too late lol
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britt6
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:51 PM
1 mom liked this

Is she in any form of counseling? If not it might be helpful, if you can get her in, to have her evaluated and to start her in a counseling program that meets on a regular basis.

themomof6boys
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 4:58 PM

I would suggest sitting down with her and making a life plan. What are her goals? What does she need to do to achieve them? What distractions can she identify? What boundaries does she think she needs to set with her friends in order to be successful? How can her friends help her to stay on track? It sounds like there are a lot of things in her life that are out of control and she needs to refocus her energy toward a goal she wants for herself. As a teenager, you think everyone is against you and want to keep you from something, but if you can identify a goal that you want and people come around you and say they believe in you, it helps to settle things down a bit. Only other suggestion is to get a counselor involved to help her through this stage of her life.


All the Best!

Cheryl

JoshRachelsMAMA
by JRM on Apr. 22, 2013 at 5:01 PM
No more phone
No more sleepovers
Friends can come to your house, visit in the living room and gone by 8 pm and not on school nights
No more swimming
Talk to teachers about her schooling

She has too long a rope. Time to reign her in.
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mommyof3-2008
by Silver Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 5:10 PM

In the past 2 years all has been taken away.  It seems like this child is grounded 100% of the time.  It really seems like she just doesnt care.  How do you get a kid to care?  We are not this uninvolved family.  We are very involved.  Care 100 % about our children and what is going on in their lives. 

Quoting JoshRachelsMAMA:

No more phone
No more sleepovers
Friends can come to your house, visit in the living room and gone by 8 pm and not on school nights
No more swimming
Talk to teachers about her schooling

She has too long a rope. Time to reign her in.


frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 5:15 PM

I would get her into serious counseling since she is this out of control.  I would not be surprised if something happened and no one knows about it.   Teens like to push boundaries so perhaps getting all the adults and her into a therapy session where there is a neutral party mediating can help.    Since she has lost everything, there is nothing to lose when she continues to act out against any authority.  I wonder if a visit to juvie or actual prison would help straighten her out.

Schauseil
by Bronze Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 5:34 PM
Do Not Send Her To Juvie!!!!! My mom does dental work for one and those children are truely horrific. My mom has been hit, sexually assaulted, and seen more teenage penises then I ever did in high school. I really feel that sending her to one would make things worse.


Quoting frndlyfn:

I would get her into serious counseling since she is this out of control.  I would not be surprised if something happened and no one knows about it.   Teens like to push boundaries so perhaps getting all the adults and her into a therapy session where there is a neutral party mediating can help.    Since she has lost everything, there is nothing to lose when she continues to act out against any authority.  I wonder if a visit to juvie or actual prison would help straighten her out.


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gammie
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 5:35 PM
Counseling !!
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kaylasmom22
by on Apr. 22, 2013 at 5:37 PM
I'm sorry but I think you lost the reins on thus one. You have pretty much taken everything from her and she is still doing it.
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frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on Apr. 22, 2013 at 5:41 PM

I did not mean unsupervised but good to know these things.  It never affected my guy's daughter the time she had to spend there.  She was so out of control.


Quoting Schauseil:

Do Not Send Her To Juvie!!!!! My mom does dental work for one and those children are truely horrific. My mom has been hit, sexually assaulted, and seen more teenage penises then I ever did in high school. I really feel that sending her to one would make things worse.


Quoting frndlyfn:

I would get her into serious counseling since she is this out of control.  I would not be surprised if something happened and no one knows about it.   Teens like to push boundaries so perhaps getting all the adults and her into a therapy session where there is a neutral party mediating can help.    Since she has lost everything, there is nothing to lose when she continues to act out against any authority.  I wonder if a visit to juvie or actual prison would help straighten her out.




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