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Need Advice

Posted by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:05 AM
  • 5 Replies

Hi. I'm 16 years old and I just found out that I am carrying my boyfriend's (of 3 years) child due in January. I would like some tips in a few different areas, so I just numbered them. 

1) What is pregnancy like? Give me all of your tips, rules, etc

2) How do I tell my parents that I'm pregnant? I figured this would be a good site to ask on beecause I can get this answer from a parent's point of view. I'm a veryy responsible teenager, I get all A's and B's, and when I got pregnant it was my first time and we used condoms.

3) How do you all feel about the idea of letting teenagers have sex in the house? I'm very much in love with my boyfriend and we plan to continue to have sex but we hate sneaking around. I'm considering proposing this to my parents.

Thanks so much!

by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 11:05 AM
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Replies (1-5):
amonkeymom
by Platinum Member on Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:26 PM

As a formerly young mom and a current mom of a teen daughter here are my answers...

1) Mine were all very different.  I did have food aversions with all three of my viable pregnancies (and only had morning sickness with the one that turned out to be ectopic, but that is definitely not the norm).  With my first I didn't show til about 6 months but then I really showed in my hips, I also gained about 45 lbs.  With #2 & #3 I showed more in my stomach.  Carried very low with #2 (my only daughter) and had preterm labor.  With #3, I was high risk due to the previous ectopic and issues with low amniotic fluid and his measuring big.  With #2 I gained exactly 20 lbs and with #3 I gained the same but he was 5.5 weeks early due to pre-eclampsia.  #1 was very mellow, he wasn't very active.  #2 was so active that if I'd had her first I would have thought there was something wrong with her brother.  #3 was kind of in between in terms of activity level.   So, you see all pregnancies are different, even with the same woman.

2)  Just come out and tell them.  The sooner you tell them, the more time they'll have to come around and the more support they'll be able to give you and you're going to need it.

3)  I never felt comfortable having sex in my (or my partner's) parent's home.  As a parent I would definitely NOT feel comfortable having my underage teen child have sex in my home. 

Quoting rgredsoxrock:

Hi. I'm 16 years old and I just found out that I am carrying my boyfriend's (of 3 years) child due in January. I would like some tips in a few different areas, so I just numbered them. 

1) What is pregnancy like? Give me all of your tips, rules, etc

2) How do I tell my parents that I'm pregnant? I figured this would be a good site to ask on beecause I can get this answer from a parent's point of view. I'm a veryy responsible teenager, I get all A's and B's, and when I got pregnant it was my first time and we used condoms.

3) How do you all feel about the idea of letting teenagers have sex in the house? I'm very much in love with my boyfriend and we plan to continue to have sex but we hate sneaking around. I'm considering proposing this to my parents.

Thanks so much!


RADmomma
by on Apr. 24, 2013 at 2:32 PM
Just come out & tell them. Tell them the truth. Does your bf want to be there? How does he feel about having a baby. Think of a plan about school & work.

Are you going to continue to go to school or switch to a k12 homeschool program? How will you support baby? Make sure you think of these things so that when ur parents ask you have an answer

I have 2 girls. Both pregnancies were very different. I had morning sickness bad with my first, none with my second. I was on bed rest with my first. Not my second. I had a csection with my first and a vbac with my second.

Reina13
by Gold Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 10:55 AM

Every pregnancy is different. You can expect  hormonal swings, weight gain, swollen feet, possible morning sickness that can actually come anytime of the day, depending on your diet and fitness level risk of gestational diabetes, lack of energy, increased sex drive, feelings of extreme highs and lows. Pregnancy pretty much can run the gamit of emotions, feelings and even physical changes. The best thing to do is to talk with your doctor honestly and openly about anything on your mind concerning your pregnancy.

When it comes to telling your parents, just come out and tell them. Be honest with them. Do you have a plan in place? Are you going to finish high school? Continue your education? Does your boyfriend want the baby? How involved is he going to be? How are you going to support a child or are you depending on your parents as well as his to provide for the baby? Who is going to care for the baby after it is born if and when you return to school? These are all valid questions that you need to think about and have answers for.

As far as sex in the home, I know that some people may think that since you are already pregnant the damage is done. I do not agree. Having sex in someone elses home is about respect for that person. I would not feel comfortable with my teenager having sex in my home.


LancesMom
by Ruby Member on Apr. 26, 2013 at 11:42 AM

Welcome!

Pregnancies are so different from person to person. But expect hormonal changes and lots of body changes. Check out the Pregnancy group on here too!

As for telling your parents, the best thing to do is be honest. It may be hard, but it's best.

I never allowed my son the chance when he was a teen. I don't think this will go over well with them. Good luck!



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jobberwocky
by Chrissy on Apr. 26, 2013 at 1:06 PM
Pregnancy is different for everyone. I suggest getting a pregnancy book to read. Also join your babies group January 2014 babies. You will be surrounded by moms in the same stage of pregnancy as you are from all walks of life.

Be up front with them. Tell them you need to have a serious talk and tell them.

As for the sex thing, not really any point in sneaking around now. Not as if you can get pregnant while you are already pregnant.
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