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wwyd??

Posted by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 2:35 PM
  • 19 Replies
Lazy aunt moves in with your grandparents. To help out. Make sure things get taken care of. Grandparents not completely reliant on said aunt.


Fast forward to 4 years later. Grandpa died 3 years ago. Said aunt is still living with grandma because she (aunt feels its best) aunt now has had her hub of one year living there too. Aunt has no job. Her hub has a new job every 3-4 months or when he feels like it.

House is disgusting. Pet hair everywhere. Years of laundry piled up that gets rotated every so often.

Grandma has no bathed in who knows how long. Had her medication screwed up. So was sick. Does not get offered food when aunt makes any.

Now said aunt's daughter was living there too. But granddaughter was feeding grandma. And picking up the house.

Granddaughter and her mother got into it. Things escalated. And had been at peak all day. Night time hits. And cops get called. Whole family on pins. And needles.

So now. Everybody is pissed at everyone else. I'm tired of it. I just want to stand up and scream at them.


What would you do? Do you feel like this is a case for elder abuse? Oh and might add that grandma "has the I don't care about anything attitude" but I think its been fed to her not to care. She only leaves for doctors appointments.

by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 2:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
momto3B
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 2:37 PM
1 mom liked this

I would absolutely call that elder abuse and I would contact the authorities. 

DACIA79
by Silver Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 2:39 PM
Sounds like Elder abuse to me. I would get rid of the aunt

Good luck
ebbierowe
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 2:41 PM
I would have my grandma move in with me until I could get those fools out of her house
Wicked.Jester
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 2:56 PM
1 mom liked this

It depends.  If your grandmother is of sound mind she is a grown up and makes her own decisions.

If she isn't, then yes thats abuse.

Have you asked your grandmother if she WANTS them out?  She may not, and though you may not like that decision if she has her faculties its hers to make.

jconney80
by Gold Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 3:00 PM

I agree. If the grandma is of sound mind to decide one way or the other she might be ok living like this. 

Quoting Wicked.Jester:

It depends.  If your grandmother is of sound mind she is a grown up and makes her own decisions.

If she isn't, then yes thats abuse.

Have you asked your grandmother if she WANTS them out?  She may not, and though you may not like that decision if she has her faculties its hers to make.


Mamamanic
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 3:14 PM

I don't think it is considered Elder abuse if she is of sound mind and can care for herself. If they are not a guardian for her, then she has to be the one to take control. Are they adding to her work load, and can she keep up with their messes, clothing, and pets, likely yes (they are adding) and no she can not keep up. She might want people around because she is older. The family might need to step in and talk with Grandma about getting them out of her house. Maybe she will be stronger with family supporting her. If she feels bad, then she could set some boundries to start at such and such a date or find your own dwelling. She likely is a care taker and that is why she has allowed it. I would see if she wants help talking to them about a cleaning and pet care routine that she would be happy with. And also an agreed upon budget for rent, food, household products. The aunt is married and they should be caring some weight. I would have all the expenses in writing and maybe have a family member or house manager in charge of this so Grandma is not the bad guy all the time. If they do not abide, she can evict them easier. 

a06z08mama
by Silver Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 3:49 PM
She doesn't have the backbone to tell them to get out. She has told other family members she wants them out.

There is also a term of self neglect. Which I think could be used too.


Quoting Wicked.Jester:

It depends.  If your grandmother is of sound mind she is a grown up and makes her own decisions.

If she isn't, then yes thats abuse.

Have you asked your grandmother if she WANTS them out?  She may not, and though you may not like that decision if she has her faculties its hers to make.


Finch28
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 3:51 PM

I would wonder why my own parent isn't more concerned and urge them to do something about their sister and mother and their living conditions.


jojo_star
by on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:25 PM

Elder abuse, report it.

-42-
by Gold Member on Apr. 28, 2013 at 4:26 PM
Report it to Adult Protective Services.
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