I've been Catholic all of my life, though I've wandered from time to time in search of something that I fit into, but to no avail. I had such high hopes with this new Pope, and I was reading what he was saying, and it struck me, I really don't agree with the Church anymore. It's not my church, I'm not accepted. I was an unwed mother, I am divorced from my children's father, I use birth control and am on third marriage. I don't fit in a world where perfection is a must, where sex is merely the point of procreation.
It's been a long journey for me, one that I've struggled with for a long time. I don't hate the church, or think that it is even bad. It's just not for me anymore.
So this weekend, my 18 year old daughter, has invited me to her church. I think I'll go, see if I'm accepted there and if I can accept the teachings there. I believe in God, always have and always will. I want that closeness and family feeling that your supposed to get from a church. She seems to have found it and I'd like to be a part of her beliefs and her love of God.
I never forced religion on my kids. I was Catholic, but they were people who needed to find their own way. My son is a very devout Catholic at only 14. He strongly believes in the church and I will not begrudge him that. My daughter shed the church around the same age and more recently went in search of her own place. For a while she was practicing the Pagan religion, she also went through the questioning phase and claimed Atheism. She's still young and I think that all of that was a healthy way to examine herself.
It feels good to finally let go. Not to feel dirty anymore, or as a pariah. I don't know why I'm posting this, perhaps just because I wanted to share. Perhaps because I needed to write it out. Whatever the reason, there it is. Have a wonderful day.