Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

I'm done with the Catholic Church

Posted by   + Show Post

I've been Catholic all of my life, though I've wandered from time to time in search of something that I fit into, but to no avail. I had such high hopes with this new Pope, and I was reading what he was saying, and it struck me, I really don't agree with the Church anymore. It's not my church, I'm not accepted. I was an unwed mother, I am divorced from my children's father, I use birth control and am on third marriage. I don't fit in a world where perfection is a must, where sex is merely the point of procreation. 

It's been a long journey for me, one that I've struggled with for a long time. I don't hate the church, or think that it is even bad. It's just not for me anymore.

So this weekend, my 18 year old daughter, has invited me to her church. I think I'll go, see if I'm accepted there and if I can accept the teachings there. I believe in God, always have and always will. I want that closeness and family feeling that your supposed to get from a church. She seems to have found it and I'd like to be a part of her beliefs and her love of God. 

I never forced religion on my kids. I was Catholic, but they were people who needed to find their own way. My son is a very devout Catholic at only 14. He strongly believes in the church and I will not begrudge him that. My daughter shed the church around the same age and more recently went in search of her own place. For a while she was practicing the Pagan religion, she also went through the questioning phase and claimed Atheism. She's still young and I think that all of that was a healthy way to examine herself. 

It feels good to finally let go. Not to feel dirty anymore, or as a pariah. I don't know why I'm posting this, perhaps just because I wanted to share. Perhaps because I needed to write it out. Whatever the reason, there it is. Have a wonderful day. 

by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:32 AM
Replies (31-40):
tansyflower
by on May. 2, 2013 at 12:37 PM

serious question (i am not religous)....if the bible was written by men, and has been interpreted differently throughout history then how can anyone follow it to the letter?  i mean we dont stone woman or make them marry their rapist anymore like they did in the bible right? do religious people still feel like those things are okay to do?

Quoting kitty8199:

But if they're following scripture, scripture didn't change.
The Bible does say remarriage after divorce is adultery bc He doesn't agree with divorce.
God doesn't, not man. The Bible says it, so why should the church ignore it? People always complain about religion picking and choosing what to follow, but want religion to do it.



Quoting sherry132:

The church has changed though. It wasn't that long ago the church taught that babies who were not baptized went to hell, then it changed to purgatory, and now they don't teach that at all. The church can change. Should change in a world where there are more people than resources, the church should change to allow birth control. Other things I still agree with, but I can't be forgiven for divorcing my first ex no matter what our problems are. 

Quoting kitty8199:

That's not the point of religion to follow the world though.

Catholicism is one of the oldest religions and the people who follow it do so because it isn't worldly.



She will find one she agrees with though.




Quoting mommyshere:

 The Catholic Church really needs to get with the times or they're going to lose even more followers.



Rust.n.Gears
by on May. 2, 2013 at 12:45 PM

I walked away from it when I found out that my friend was one of the victims of child abuse when we were kids. I found out and went immediately to my church and saw our priest. It was the same priest. He looked at me and I just began to cry. He left quickly. He knew I knew. I couldn't ever go back there again. But then the Vatican was handling it so badly and it pissed me off. It just made me ill to think of it and still does. The churchs job was to help us and protect us and they failed. They were the wolf on the flock. I am now also in a pagan faith and very very happy. I feel the love of my gods. I am no longer bitter .... just sad.

JanuaryBaby06
by on May. 2, 2013 at 2:21 PM

*hugs!* that is not an easy move to make. It's soooo hard to finally make that deciosn , to finally walk away. I had struggled for along time, stopped going to church but really couldnt bear to part with the Catholic title since I am (and was raised in) very Irish Catholic areas... its part of my history, my ancestors stuggle but it just isn't my faith. If you ever wanna chat pm me.

I offically walked when it came time to sign my my oldest up for CCD classes.

alecolby
by on May. 2, 2013 at 2:25 PM
I am a non-practicing catholic. Yes i love many of the things the catholic church gives but i also disagree with a lot of what they believe. Perhaps it's just the way you see it. I was never in catholic schools even though my parents see devoted catholics, it might of also been the fact that we are Mexicans and we go about our religion differently.
kitty8199
by on May. 2, 2013 at 6:32 PM
They didn't marry their rapist.. I know what verse you're taking about though. People take it out of context bc they don't read the entire thing.

It's impossible to follow to the letter like you say bc of interpretations. But there are some things that are the same in every version. Saying religion needs to change to fit the world isn't right.
Do what you want but don't expect religion to adapt to you, KWIM? Don't like it, don't do it. (or do it depending on what it is).
I think people are selfish (for lack of a better word) when they expect the world to adapt to them. It doesn't work that way.
Quoting tansyflower:

serious question (i am not religous)....if the bible was written by men, and has been interpreted differently throughout history then how can anyone follow it to the letter?  i mean we dont stone woman or make them marry their rapist anymore like they did in the bible right? do religious people still feel like those things are okay to do?

Quoting kitty8199:

But if they're following scripture, scripture didn't change.

The Bible does say remarriage after divorce is adultery bc He doesn't agree with divorce.

God doesn't, not man. The Bible says it, so why should the church ignore it? People always complain about religion picking and choosing what to follow, but want religion to do it.







Quoting sherry132:

The church has changed though. It wasn't that long ago the church taught that babies who were not baptized went to hell, then it changed to purgatory, and now they don't teach that at all. The church can change. Should change in a world where there are more people than resources, the church should change to allow birth control. Other things I still agree with, but I can't be forgiven for divorcing my first ex no matter what our problems are. 

Quoting kitty8199:

That's not the point of religion to follow the world though.


Catholicism is one of the oldest religions and the people who follow it do so because it isn't worldly.





She will find one she agrees with though.








Quoting mommyshere:

 The Catholic Church really needs to get with the times or they're going to lose even more followers.



Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tansyflower
by on May. 2, 2013 at 6:49 PM

i have read that verse, and understand both ways people interpret it.  one way is to say that any man and woman caught having sex will have to get married and have a man pay her father for the bride.  and yes, that would include rape since any sexual act in that time period would have soiled a woman for the rest of her life whether it was wanted or not.  and either way a woman is considered owned by either her father or her husband.  she is bought and sold.  she has no say, no rights.  stoning people seemed to be a pretty popular punishment as well.

the above issues are things that as a society we feel are wrong, we even make them illegal kwim?  so how is it that the religion who's values are taught based off this book should not change with what society views as acceptable?  do my questions make sense?

Quoting kitty8199:

They didn't marry their rapist.. I know what verse you're taking about though. People take it out of context bc they don't read the entire thing.

It's impossible to follow to the letter like you say bc of interpretations. But there are some things that are the same in every version. Saying religion needs to change to fit the world isn't right.
Do what you want but don't expect religion to adapt to you, KWIM? Don't like it, don't do it. (or do it depending on what it is).
I think people are selfish (for lack of a better word) when they expect the world to adapt to them. It doesn't work that way.
Quoting tansyflower:

serious question (i am not religous)....if the bible was written by men, and has been interpreted differently throughout history then how can anyone follow it to the letter?  i mean we dont stone woman or make them marry their rapist anymore like they did in the bible right? do religious people still feel like those things are okay to do?

Quoting kitty8199:

But if they're following scripture, scripture didn't change.

The Bible does say remarriage after divorce is adultery bc He doesn't agree with divorce.

God doesn't, not man. The Bible says it, so why should the church ignore it? People always complain about religion picking and choosing what to follow, but want religion to do it.







Quoting sherry132:

The church has changed though. It wasn't that long ago the church taught that babies who were not baptized went to hell, then it changed to purgatory, and now they don't teach that at all. The church can change. Should change in a world where there are more people than resources, the church should change to allow birth control. Other things I still agree with, but I can't be forgiven for divorcing my first ex no matter what our problems are. 

Quoting kitty8199:

That's not the point of religion to follow the world though.


Catholicism is one of the oldest religions and the people who follow it do so because it isn't worldly.





She will find one she agrees with though.








Quoting mommyshere:

 The Catholic Church really needs to get with the times or they're going to lose even more followers.




hip2it
by Member on May. 2, 2013 at 6:53 PM
My dad was raised strict catholic. He divorced his first wife and years later every priest he went to refused to marry him and my mom. When the last priest told him his children would be abominations of God bc he was divorced he left the church and never looked back.
kitty8199
by on May. 2, 2013 at 7:23 PM
Yes they make sense. Those issues weren'tGod' rules. Those were mans
The's Bible doesn't change. People change. Just because people change doesn't mean they should rewrite the book. We're not supposed to follow the world. We're supposed to follow His word. There are scriptures based on exactly that.
People following religion do so because they want to.
They can personally pick and choose, but shouldn't expect religion to change for them.

And that chapter says the rapist should be killed, so no one is expecting them to marry.
Quoting tansyflower:

i have read that verse, and understand both ways people interpret it.  one way is to say that any man and woman caught having sex will have to get married and have a man pay her father for the bride.  and yes, that would include rape since any sexual act in that time period would have soiled a woman for the rest of her life whether it was wanted or not.  and either way a woman is considered owned by either her father or her husband.  she is bought and sold.  she has no say, no rights.  stoning people seemed to be a pretty popular punishment as well.

the above issues are things that as a society we feel are wrong, we even make them illegal kwim?  so how is it that the religion who's values are taught based off this book should not change with what society views as acceptable?  do my questions make sense?

Quoting kitty8199:

They didn't marry their rapist.. I know what verse you're taking about though. People take it out of context bc they don't read the entire thing.

It's impossible to follow to the letter like you say bc of interpretations. But there are some things that are the same in every version. Saying religion needs to change to fit the world isn't right.
Do what you want but don't expect religion to adapt to you, KWIM? Don't like it, don't do it. (or do it depending on what it is).
I think people are selfish (for lack of a better word) when they expect the world to adapt to them. It doesn't work that way.
Quoting tansyflower:

serious question (i am not religous)....if the bible was written by men, and has been interpreted differently throughout history then how can anyone follow it to the letter?  i mean we dont stone woman or make them marry their rapist anymore like they did in the bible right? do religious people still feel like those things are okay to do?

Quoting kitty8199:

But if they're following scripture, scripture didn't change.

The Bible does say remarriage after divorce is adultery bc He doesn't agree with divorce.

God doesn't, not man. The Bible says it, so why should the church ignore it? People always complain about religion picking and choosing what to follow, but want religion to do it.







Quoting sherry132:

The church has changed though. It wasn't that long ago the church taught that babies who were not baptized went to hell, then it changed to purgatory, and now they don't teach that at all. The church can change. Should change in a world where there are more people than resources, the church should change to allow birth control. Other things I still agree with, but I can't be forgiven for divorcing my first ex no matter what our problems are. 

Quoting kitty8199:

That's not the point of religion to follow the world though.


Catholicism is one of the oldest religions and the people who follow it do so because it isn't worldly.





She will find one she agrees with though.












Quoting mommyshere:

 The Catholic Church really needs to get with the times or they're going to lose even more followers.




Posted on CafeMom Mobile
tansyflower
by on May. 2, 2013 at 7:27 PM

it seemed to me that maybe they could get killed, or maybe if the father of the woman so chose he would sell her to the rapist since she would otherwise never have the opportunity to get maried.  it leaves it quite open in a way.

and i guess that doesnt answer my other question of if there are things in the bible that a society doesnt think is okay (like stoning someone to death) then should a true believer still follow the bible?

Quoting kitty8199:

Yes they make sense.
The Bible doesn't change. People change. Just because people change doesn't mean they should rewrite the book. We're not supposed to follow the world. We're supposed to follow His word. There are scriptures based on exactly that.
People following religion do so because they want to.
They can personally pick and choose, but shouldn't expect religion to change for them.

And that chapter says the rapist should be killed, so no one is expecting them to marry.
Quoting tansyflower:

i have read that verse, and understand both ways people interpret it.  one way is to say that any man and woman caught having sex will have to get married and have a man pay her father for the bride.  and yes, that would include rape since any sexual act in that time period would have soiled a woman for the rest of her life whether it was wanted or not.  and either way a woman is considered owned by either her father or her husband.  she is bought and sold.  she has no say, no rights.  stoning people seemed to be a pretty popular punishment as well.

the above issues are things that as a society we feel are wrong, we even make them illegal kwim?  so how is it that the religion who's values are taught based off this book should not change with what society views as acceptable?  do my questions make sense?

Quoting kitty8199:

They didn't marry their rapist.. I know what verse you're taking about though. People take it out of context bc they don't read the entire thing.

It's impossible to follow to the letter like you say bc of interpretations. But there are some things that are the same in every version. Saying religion needs to change to fit the world isn't right.
Do what you want but don't expect religion to adapt to you, KWIM? Don't like it, don't do it. (or do it depending on what it is).
I think people are selfish (for lack of a better word) when they expect the world to adapt to them. It doesn't work that way.
Quoting tansyflower:

serious question (i am not religous)....if the bible was written by men, and has been interpreted differently throughout history then how can anyone follow it to the letter?  i mean we dont stone woman or make them marry their rapist anymore like they did in the bible right? do religious people still feel like those things are okay to do?

Quoting kitty8199:

But if they're following scripture, scripture didn't change.

The Bible does say remarriage after divorce is adultery bc He doesn't agree with divorce.

God doesn't, not man. The Bible says it, so why should the church ignore it? People always complain about religion picking and choosing what to follow, but want religion to do it.







Quoting sherry132:

The church has changed though. It wasn't that long ago the church taught that babies who were not baptized went to hell, then it changed to purgatory, and now they don't teach that at all. The church can change. Should change in a world where there are more people than resources, the church should change to allow birth control. Other things I still agree with, but I can't be forgiven for divorcing my first ex no matter what our problems are. 

Quoting kitty8199:

That's not the point of religion to follow the world though.


Catholicism is one of the oldest religions and the people who follow it do so because it isn't worldly.





She will find one she agrees with though.












Quoting mommyshere:

 The Catholic Church really needs to get with the times or they're going to lose even more followers.





kitty8199
by on May. 2, 2013 at 7:32 PM
You have to read the entire chapter. It's not a lose interpretation it's very clear reading all of it.
I had edited to add the answer, but you quoted me before it saved.
Those things were not God's laws. That was done by man.
God didn't order stoning. Man ordered stoning. So that stuff does change with time, but what He says doesn't. Does that make sense.


Quoting tansyflower:

it seemed to me that maybe they could get killed, or maybe if the father of the woman so chose he would sell her to the rapist since she would otherwise never have the opportunity to get maried.  it leaves it quite open in a way.

and i guess that doesnt answer my other question of if there are things in the bible that a society doesnt think is okay (like stoning someone to death) then should a true believer still follow the bible?

Quoting kitty8199:

Yes they make sense.
The Bible doesn't change. People change. Just because people change doesn't mean they should rewrite the book. We're not supposed to follow the world. We're supposed to follow His word. There are scriptures based on exactly that.
People following religion do so because they want to.
They can personally pick and choose, but shouldn't expect religion to change for them.

And that chapter says the rapist should be killed, so no one is expecting them to marry.
Quoting tansyflower:

i have read that verse, and understand both ways people interpret it.  one way is to say that any man and woman caught having sex will have to get married and have a man pay her father for the bride.  and yes, that would include rape since any sexual act in that time period would have soiled a woman for the rest of her life whether it was wanted or not.  and either way a woman is considered owned by either her father or her husband.  she is bought and sold.  she has no say, no rights.  stoning people seemed to be a pretty popular punishment as well.

the above issues are things that as a society we feel are wrong, we even make them illegal kwim?  so how is it that the religion who's values are taught based off this book should not change with what society views as acceptable?  do my questions make sense?

Quoting kitty8199:

They didn't marry their rapist.. I know what verse you're taking about though. People take it out of context bc they don't read the entire thing.

It's impossible to follow to the letter like you say bc of interpretations. But there are some things that are the same in every version. Saying religion needs to change to fit the world isn't right.
Do what you want but don't expect religion to adapt to you, KWIM? Don't like it, don't do it. (or do it depending on what it is).
I think people are selfish (for lack of a better word) when they expect the world to adapt to them. It doesn't work that way.
Quoting tansyflower:

serious question (i am not religous)....if the bible was written by men, and has been interpreted differently throughout history then how can anyone follow it to the letter?  i mean we dont stone woman or make them marry their rapist anymore like they did in the bible right? do religious people still feel like those things are okay to do?

Quoting kitty8199:

But if they're following scripture, scripture didn't change.

The Bible does say remarriage after divorce is adultery bc He doesn't agree with divorce.

God doesn't, not man. The Bible says it, so why should the church ignore it? People always complain about religion picking and choosing what to follow, but want religion to do it.







Quoting sherry132:

The church has changed though. It wasn't that long ago the church taught that babies who were not baptized went to hell, then it changed to purgatory, and now they don't teach that at all. The church can change. Should change in a world where there are more people than resources, the church should change to allow birth control. Other things I still agree with, but I can't be forgiven for divorcing my first ex no matter what our problems are. 

Quoting kitty8199:

That's not the point of religion to follow the world though.


Catholicism is one of the oldest religions and the people who follow it do so because it isn't worldly.





She will find one she agrees with though.














Quoting mommyshere:

 The Catholic Church really needs to get with the times or they're going to lose even more followers.





Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)