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I'm done with the Catholic Church

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I've been Catholic all of my life, though I've wandered from time to time in search of something that I fit into, but to no avail. I had such high hopes with this new Pope, and I was reading what he was saying, and it struck me, I really don't agree with the Church anymore. It's not my church, I'm not accepted. I was an unwed mother, I am divorced from my children's father, I use birth control and am on third marriage. I don't fit in a world where perfection is a must, where sex is merely the point of procreation. 

It's been a long journey for me, one that I've struggled with for a long time. I don't hate the church, or think that it is even bad. It's just not for me anymore.

So this weekend, my 18 year old daughter, has invited me to her church. I think I'll go, see if I'm accepted there and if I can accept the teachings there. I believe in God, always have and always will. I want that closeness and family feeling that your supposed to get from a church. She seems to have found it and I'd like to be a part of her beliefs and her love of God. 

I never forced religion on my kids. I was Catholic, but they were people who needed to find their own way. My son is a very devout Catholic at only 14. He strongly believes in the church and I will not begrudge him that. My daughter shed the church around the same age and more recently went in search of her own place. For a while she was practicing the Pagan religion, she also went through the questioning phase and claimed Atheism. She's still young and I think that all of that was a healthy way to examine herself. 

It feels good to finally let go. Not to feel dirty anymore, or as a pariah. I don't know why I'm posting this, perhaps just because I wanted to share. Perhaps because I needed to write it out. Whatever the reason, there it is. Have a wonderful day. 

by on Apr. 30, 2013 at 10:32 AM
Replies (41-50):
sherry132
by Sherry on May. 2, 2013 at 9:03 PM

That's what my mother was told. For me, it was simply the cold shoulder. My ex and I fought, we fought hard. Sometimes it was physical on both our parts. I went to the church for help with our marriage, the church told us that we needed to grow up. I went to the church to pray, and was shooed out, the nun told me I already knew what to do about my marriage. She was right, I did. He was cheating on me, we were always fighting, he was belittling me, I became cruel to him. Not that our marriage problems were one or the other's fault, we both carry the blame, but growing up was what caused all the problems. I grew up, he didn't. I wanted respect, he didn't know how to give it to me. I still love and care for him, but only as the father of my children. Not the marriage kind of love. 

I took the kids to the doctor one day. I had to take a cab. He gave me the cab fare and went to work. When I got home, it was freezing cold and raining and he had changed the locks to my house. I walked two miles with two kids ages 7 and 3, and called my grandparents. Two days later, I filed for divorce. He wouldn't let me have diapers for our son, or a change of clothes for any of us. I didn't have a dime. Not one dime. I found a job the next day. Within three days, I had a home and food. By the time the judge ordered him to let me have my belongings and those of the children, I'd managed to figure out ways to get most of what we needed. God gave me answers and guided me to those answers. I honestly don't think that God intended me to stay with him. I really believe He carried me along those broken roads and guided me to where I am now. 

After that, I got nothing from the church. He got it all. His family became warriors of the church, he still had friends in the church. I had no one but my family. It was hell for me. I thought it would be better once I moved away, but all the churches I've been too have been cool if not down right cold. Though I truly love the church, the people within those walls have treated me so poorly that I feel I must leave and find a new home where I can be close to God. I feel like God is guiding me once again. 

Quoting hip2it:

My dad was raised strict catholic. He divorced his first wife and years later every priest he went to refused to marry him and my mom. When the last priest told him his children would be abominations of God bc he was divorced he left the church and never looked back.


trainlady
by on May. 3, 2013 at 7:47 AM

I was raised in the Catholic Church from the third grade on. My parents put me in Catholic School because there was no private school in my area. So I got indoctrinated in the church. About the time I reached my sophomore year in high school I had had enough. I told my parents I wanted to go to public school. When in the Catholic school everything was slanted according to the church's teachings. Also I watched a priest slap a young boy so hard in the face he made him bleed. He slapped him for missing Mass. Then other things happened where the nuns were allowed to punish us with physical punishment. Enough was enough. Over the years I have tried other religions and have never been comfortable for long in any of them. The one thing I have come to believe is that yes there is a supreme being, regardless of whether you call him God or not. Another thing is to me the bible was written to control the masses and not by God. Also, unlike the Catholic Church believes, you will go to heaven when you die even if you are not a Catholic. I am what is known as an agnostic. I believe in a supreme being but not in religion.

elasmimi
by Platinum Member on May. 3, 2013 at 7:55 AM
1 mom liked this

I am so sorry you feel that way. I am a recent convert, and despite all my past sins, I have never felt more welcomed and cherished. But you have to make your own decisions. good luck to you.

Lili0509
by on May. 12, 2013 at 10:37 PM

 Hi, I just came across your post and I was at one point feeling the same way. I'm also Mexican American with VERY traditional Mexican parents, I was never allowed to go out by myself, to have friends, girls or boys, be on the phone...nothing. Although I know that was overboard, Im very thankful now, I have children now and I know Im not going to be that overly protective but I realized that what it was protection.

I feel religion is the same way, sometimes its soo overboard because its impossible to be perfect but when you look at it, all the "rules" are just to keep us out of trouble....but its the same in EVERY religion, they will tell you that you are going to Hell if you sin. The reality is that we all sin, every single person on this Earth. Priests, pastors, nuns, you, me...everyone. The difference is who is in church and how they speak to us...I had one priest who was very strict and then we got one that was not as strict but was very nurturing...he explained that we shouldn't be ashamed, simply ask for forgiveness and God loves us unconditionally but he wants us to change and be the best we can be and repent. That fact that you children are close to God is wonderful :) I don't really think it matters what church you go to, all religions have the same fundamentals and its no even necessary to be in church every single Sunday, just be close to Him in your soul and spirit.

Lol, I'm sorry if I wrote too much or too late, Idk if you'll even read this but I have recently just gotten very close to God and I wanted to share my thoughts.

first-one
by on May. 12, 2013 at 10:42 PM

Eeeh, organized religion is for the .....well never mind.  You have your relationship with god, you don't need to have that under rules of a church.    Recovering catholic here too!!

Lili0509
by on May. 12, 2013 at 10:45 PM

 I agree with you to a certain degree...I think that yes, as long as we know there is a higher being and we try to be good and repent of the sins we have commited, we will be ok but what we forget is that we are all human...ALL of us, we should never consider a priest or a nun higher...yes, respected but thats all, they are supposed to be here doing Gods work, but that doesn't make them perfect.

But, that was yur personal experience and I see why you turned away, it must have been difficult, but the goo thing is that you're still close to God in your spirit. This was just a thought of mine.

Quoting trainlady:

I was raised in the Catholic Church from the third grade on. My parents put me in Catholic School because there was no private school in my area. So I got indoctrinated in the church. About the time I reached my sophomore year in high school I had had enough. I told my parents I wanted to go to public school. When in the Catholic school everything was slanted according to the church's teachings. Also I watched a priest slap a young boy so hard in the face he made him bleed. He slapped him for missing Mass. Then other things happened where the nuns were allowed to punish us with physical punishment. Enough was enough. Over the years I have tried other religions and have never been comfortable for long in any of them. The one thing I have come to believe is that yes there is a supreme being, regardless of whether you call him God or not. Another thing is to me the bible was written to control the masses and not by God. Also, unlike the Catholic Church believes, you will go to heaven when you die even if you are not a Catholic. I am what is known as an agnostic. I believe in a supreme being but not in religion.

 

Linus77
by on May. 12, 2013 at 11:04 PM
1 mom liked this

The thing about Cathlic churches is that they get into legallism, not grace.  We are to strive not to sin, but God knows that is impossible...otherwise, Jesus wouldn't have needed to come.  When we sin, we don't pray to Mary or any saints...as that is idolatry...but we confess our sin to God and ask HIS forgiveness...with the covering and cleansing of the blood of Jesus.

Pray that God will lead you to the church He would have you go to. 

But don't depend on the Church to complete your spiritual connection to God.  Get your Bible out, read it, and spend some time in prayer with the Lord.  Your own personal relationship with Jesus is the most important element.  As soon as you can, get filled with the Holy Spirit...

scorpiobabes
by on May. 13, 2013 at 4:17 PM
I was born and raised Catholic, but I've broken most of the Commandments. Not proud of that, but it's a fact. The only reason I came back was because it helped me to feel closer to my late mom-it's what I was used to. Tried being a charismatic Christian but that didn't last. So I've gotten more spiritual than religious, and it seems that God is fine with it since I'm still here.

You're fine.
Arwyn724
by on May. 13, 2013 at 5:00 PM

Visit a Lutheran Church.  Many of the same scriptural beliefs without ony crazy rules or guilt.

MusherMaggie
by Member on May. 13, 2013 at 5:37 PM
Quoting sherry132:


The Catholic Church NEVER taught that unbaptized babies went to Bell or Purgatory. It was called Limbo. The actual teaching is that these babies' souls are consigned to the mercy of God.
The best way to know the teachings of the Church is to read the Catechism of the Catholic Church. So many people do not want to accept any authority but their own. They join a church for what it can do for them, not to give God what He is due.

Margarett RBC Zavodnyteal ribbon

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