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He breaks my heart every time update

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Ds and I have been homeless since shortly after he was born. We just spent five and half months in a homeless shelter that was an apt and now we are moving again. Anyways we have housing coming through and will have it in a couple of weeks so we are moving to another homeless shelter till it comes through. We have to drive three to five hours to get to our final destination, housing is in another state. We have been staying in a hotel that we have stayed at before.
My heart is breaking because Ds keeps saying he wants to go home back to the shelter we were living at. I feel so bad but don't know what to do because we obviously can't go back and we have to move completely away and temporarily to another shelter does anyone have any ideas on how to help Ds understand we can't go back and have to move?

He'll be four in June.

update: We just got a call that Housing has finally came through. While waiting for it my parents have helped pay for a hotel room with a stove, no oven. I have also been looking for a job and have had one interview with regal and have another on Friday the 14 at noon. So things are starting to look good for us.
by on May. 3, 2013 at 11:14 PM
Replies (21-30):
Mel0dy
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:42 AM

I am so sorry you guys are going through all this. It will get better. I like the adventure idea. I think thats a great way to put it. 

mmtosam06
by Gold Member on May. 4, 2013 at 9:49 AM
Hugs
EvilAsh
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:10 AM

How can you afford a hotel but can't afford rent? Hotels are expensive as crap.

blogenmom
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:21 AM
2 moms liked this

I have been homeless with my 5 year old daughter and 3 year old son I made it seem like a game like we were having sleep overs and having a adventure while we were looking for the perfect "castle" .and my children were sad they didn't have a place to call home but I told them that  staying with family is home and as long as we were together we were home.

illinoismommy83
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:27 AM

Its not like she is staying at a Hilton, she is staying in one of those shady rent by the week/month places that are designed for people in transition.

Quoting EvilAsh:

How can you afford a hotel but can't afford rent? Hotels are expensive as crap.


EvilAsh
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:33 AM

It's still expensive. I've been there... 340 a week for a single bed.

Quoting illinoismommy83:

Its not like she is staying at a Hilton, she is staying in one of those shady rent by the week/month places that are designed for people in transition.

Quoting EvilAsh:

How can you afford a hotel but can't afford rent? Hotels are expensive as crap.



Lilypie Pregnancy tickers

Mrs.Kubalabuku
by Silver Member on May. 4, 2013 at 10:40 AM
6 moms liked this

I'm sure it has created some instability in his life.  Here are some things I would try:

1.  Start routines.  Life may be crazy, but have some things that are ALWAYS at a constant.  Like 15 minutes before bed you cuddle and read books.  Or you sing a song between activities.  Color-coordinate his socks to certain days of the week, or ALWAYS have his favorite meal for lunch on a specific day.  So when things are crazy, you can smile and say "Well, 2 days until hotdogs and Mac and Cheese!"  It helps give him a reference in which he can look forward to something good and predictable.  Whatever you can think of that will help set some routines will help his sense of stability.  It doesn't have to be a fully scheduled day.  Ideally, it would be a daily thing but even then, do what you can.

2.  When you get to the new place, find things he'll love to do.  Go to the park, library, or check out free musuems.  Many places have free or reduced admission to child-geared exhibits.  Look out for community centers or an affordable membership to a pool, zoo, etc.  I know, money is tight.  But consider his and your mental well-being a priority!  It is NOT frivolous to have one or two types of passes to help your family build good memories during tough times.  If you can't afford anything, actually try calling up some places and meeting in person with a manager.  If you explain your situation you might be able to volunteer some hours at an event in exchange for free passes, or work out some type of alternate deal.  I live near a very large zoo, and my cousin volunteered at a few community events for them and they gave her family 2 years of free passes.  They are a business, they need to make money, but they are also people who want to get families involved!

3.  Think up ideas on how he can personalize his space.  With most housing areas, you can paint the walls any color, so long as you return them to the original color when you move out.  So if you plan on being there a while, you could consider letting him paint the walls.  Or, if you are not allowed to paint or fear you can't afford it, perhaps get a roll of paper and tape it to the walls and let him finger paint it.  Spend the time during this transition helping him come up with ideas to make him feel like THIS new place is HIS.

Overall, he is young, and this won't be easy on him. 

LucyHarper
by on May. 4, 2013 at 10:44 AM
1 mom liked this

Explain to him in simple words that that was not your home, thats was a place where they let people stay when they don't have anywhere else to go and that was very nice of them, but now you have to move on to your new home other little boys and their parents will have a place to stay until they can find a home.

nelliesmommy
by Bronze Member on May. 4, 2013 at 11:16 AM

Just tell him that you can't stay there forever. It's hard explaining things like that, I understand. I been there. You will get through it though. Things will get better. good luck!

LilliesValley
by on May. 4, 2013 at 11:16 AM
No idea. Maybe that you are trying to find the best place to live. I think you can explain it age appropriately. That you are waiting on your final home to be ready so you just have to stay at a few places until then. Good luck.
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