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He breaks my heart every time update

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Ds and I have been homeless since shortly after he was born. We just spent five and half months in a homeless shelter that was an apt and now we are moving again. Anyways we have housing coming through and will have it in a couple of weeks so we are moving to another homeless shelter till it comes through. We have to drive three to five hours to get to our final destination, housing is in another state. We have been staying in a hotel that we have stayed at before.
My heart is breaking because Ds keeps saying he wants to go home back to the shelter we were living at. I feel so bad but don't know what to do because we obviously can't go back and we have to move completely away and temporarily to another shelter does anyone have any ideas on how to help Ds understand we can't go back and have to move?

He'll be four in June.

update: We just got a call that Housing has finally came through. While waiting for it my parents have helped pay for a hotel room with a stove, no oven. I have also been looking for a job and have had one interview with regal and have another on Friday the 14 at noon. So things are starting to look good for us.
by on May. 3, 2013 at 11:14 PM
Replies (31-40):
by Michelle on May. 4, 2013 at 11:46 AM

Good luck with everything.

by Gold Member on May. 4, 2013 at 11:52 AM
Of you were couch surfing up until that last shelter he obviously wants to go back there because it was the only stable home he has had. He is probably scared he will be moving all over again.

You need to explain to him clearly you are on your way to a place you will be living for a very long time. Talk about decorating his room. Make plans about his new school etc. he needs comfort.

Good luck. I truly hope things turn around for you.
by on May. 4, 2013 at 12:03 PM

I'm am so sorry that is hard. I think at this age they easily get attached to a home. My son will be 4 in August and when we went to look for a new place he feel in love with the first place and would have been devastasted if we didn't get it. But even as we were moving our things it was hard for him to understand we would not be going back to the old one.

We ended up telling him the old house was closing, a concept he kinda understood and knew he couldn't be some place if it was closed. he still asks if the old house is closed but when  we say yes he pretty much drops it. Our son has autism so change is very hard for him and we move at lot, at least once a year sometimes more like 9=10 months

by on May. 4, 2013 at 12:06 PM

usually at least for the two states I have lived in (Mass and NH) based on people we have meet if you qualify for section 8, but they don't have any actual housing open for you yet, they actually pay to put you in like a motel 6 kinda place that is meant for extended stays and usually the majority of people there are waiting on state housing. My husband lived in one once with his ex.

Quoting EvilAsh:

How can you afford a hotel but can't afford rent? Hotels are expensive as crap.

by Rah-Rah on May. 4, 2013 at 1:16 PM
1 mom liked this
I think that even without your situation, moving in general is tough for young kids. Keep it positive and he will follow your lead:)
by on May. 4, 2013 at 1:41 PM

just keep it as positive as possible.  My DH, myself and our 2 girls (5 and 3 at the time) moved 1200 miles away from everything we have ever known last year from Michigan to Florida with really only a VERY rundown trailer that we bought for $500.  although we have moved since then and plan to again in a few weeks it sucks but we try to always keep it positive for the girls.
we're technically 'homeless' right now actually staying with family and HATE IT so we're about to stay at a hotel/motel for extended stays $600 a month includes everything until we can get a place of our own 

by ♥Char2theMaine♥ on May. 4, 2013 at 1:45 PM

Quoting proudmom5584:

I'm sorry that you are going through hard times. Things will get better for you and your son. Have faith and never stop believing that you can get through this.

by on May. 4, 2013 at 2:57 PM
1 mom liked this

im so sorry you're having such a hard time. & on top of that having to deal with the hard questions of a 4 yr old..  my ds1 is 4 1/2 & they ask MANY questions.. but they are VERY resiliant.  im not in your siutation but.. when our pet passed away.. he kept crying asking for her & asking  why he cnat see her,  when she will come back, if the dr will fix her for him...   the best way is to be honest but age appropiate . they do need to learn   sometimes its just " no"  we  cant go back, we cnat see loved ones again... so i just say,   she wont be coming back she cant.  I  let him  know i understand his feelings & I share & valadiate them too, by saying " i understand how you feel, i wish we could  too but we cant " and im sad too. but then turn it around they can follow your leed & just  say  so   i wonder how  the next place will be?   & get him focused on being excited to move on if you can. gl

by Ruby Member on May. 4, 2013 at 3:03 PM

 Im so sorry! I know how you feel.In 3 weeks we have to be out of our house due to foreclosure and have nowhere to go.I have 5 kids at home.I wish you luck and hope things get better for you.

by on May. 4, 2013 at 3:23 PM

Say we can't go back because you are going somewhere better!

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