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if you love your husband more than your kids

Posted by on May. 6, 2013 at 4:56 PM
  • 76 Replies
4 moms liked this
Theres something wrong with you
by on May. 6, 2013 at 4:56 PM
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Replies (1-10):
carolina_gal
by Gold Member on May. 7, 2013 at 8:26 AM
2 moms liked this

 I strongly disagree.

SpnFulOfSugar
by Bronze Member on May. 7, 2013 at 8:27 AM
15 moms liked this
I don't love one more than the others, but my relationship with my husband and marriage is the basis of our family and a top priority.
Maries_Mom23
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2013 at 8:29 AM

This...

Quoting SpnFulOfSugar:

I don't love one more than the others, but my relationship with my husband and marriage is the basis of our family and a top priority.


Lisaremond
by on May. 7, 2013 at 8:44 AM
17 moms liked this

NO .That is the way it should be .What you will do after your kIDS  leave you ? 

You are supposed to be with your husband forever so why you think its wrong to love him more than your kids ? 

I am married for 55 years. Yes and i love my husband more than anyone else in this world . My kids are well adujusted with their spouses and kids. They don't need their parents now ,they have their own life.

Putting your kids over your husband and loving them more is a perfect way to end your marriage and relationship .I have seen so many couples who divorce each other after kids leave.Why ?

Becuase they always put them over each other and they had nothing in common when they left them

Ask any marriage counselllor.They will say " Your marriage comes before your kids" 


SO with whom i am left with ? MY HUSBAND .You get the answer ?

auntietotty
by Elizabeth on May. 7, 2013 at 10:30 AM
5 moms liked this

 


Quoting Lisaremond:

NO .That is the way it should be .What you will do after your kIDS  leave you ? 

You are supposed to be with your husband forever so why you think its wrong to love him more than your kids ? 

I am married for 55 years. Yes and i love my husband more than anyone else in this world . My kids are well adujusted with their spouses and kids. They don't need their parents now ,they have their own life.

Putting your kids over your husband and loving them more is a perfect way to end your marriage and relationship .I have seen so many couples who divorce each other after kids leave.Why ?

Becuase they always put them over each other and they had nothing in common when they left them

Ask any marriage counselllor.They will say " Your marriage comes before your kids" 


SO with whom i am left with ? MY HUSBAND .You get the answer ?

I hate this age old argument. And I agree with you. I love my husband AND kids...but I love them differently of course.

I think the people who dont "get it" are the people with babies or very small children...or they dont have a happy marriage to begin with.  We've been married almost 30 yrs and have 2 grown kids, ages 25 and 27.

The kids left..as they should.  Had I ignored my husband all these years and put him 2nd...would he still be here:? Probably not.  My belief is, if you arent attentive to your husband, he will more than likely find someone who is.  And who could blame him? 

This is OUR time now.  We planned for years of what we would do once the kids were gone, and we are having the time of our lives.  If I had doted only on the kids for the past 20 yrs or so and ignored him or acted like he didnt matter, he probably would have ran for the hills the moment the kids were grown.  Instead, he waited to get me all to himself...all the while, we continued to "woo" each other, made time for each other, kept things in common, etc. 

Ive seen several couples who just "lived for the kids" and had no marriage to speak of...everything was about the kids and never about each other. They are very unhappy.

We decided a long time ago that we wouldnt be that old married couple who just falls asleep in front of the TV every night and doesnt "talk".  We travel, go on dates, do projects together and have great sex!

 

lapcounter
by Super Mom on May. 7, 2013 at 10:33 AM


Quoting Lisaremond:

NO .That is the way it should be .What you will do after your kIDS  leave you ? 

You are supposed to be with your husband forever so why you think its wrong to love him more than your kids ? 

I am married for 55 years. Yes and i love my husband more than anyone else in this world . My kids are well adujusted with their spouses and kids. They don't need their parents now ,they have their own life.

Putting your kids over your husband and loving them more is a perfect way to end your marriage and relationship .I have seen so many couples who divorce each other after kids leave.Why ?

Becuase they always put them over each other and they had nothing in common when they left them

Ask any marriage counselllor.They will say " Your marriage comes before your kids" 


SO with whom i am left with ? MY HUSBAND .You get the answer ?

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Msgme
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2013 at 10:52 AM
4 moms liked this

why does there have to be a competition.  Why can't we love our kids and our spouses. I can't say i love my kids more or less than my husband because its a different kind of love.  My kids are my #1 priority but that doesnt mean dh is not a priority.  I can't wrap my head around that it has to be one over the other.  Every family is different. I'm mom first.  Dh is dad first.  We still have a rock solid marriage and foundation. We were together before kids,  we are now raising kids and we'll be together after the kids are gone.  we discuss this topic all the time. Whats it going to be like when the kids are  all gone and living their own lives.  He likes to joke that family game night and family movie night will be really boring  lol

Arwyn724
by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:09 AM


Quoting Msgme:

why does there have to be a competition.  Why can't we love our kids and our spouses. I can't say i love my kids more or less than my husband because its a different kind of love.  My kids are my #1 priority but that doesnt mean dh is not a priority.  I can't wrap my head around that it has to be one over the other.  Every family is different. I'm mom first.  Dh is dad first.  We still have a rock solid marriage and foundation. We were together before kids,  we are now raising kids and we'll be together after the kids are gone.  we discuss this topic all the time. Whats it going to be like when the kids are  all gone and living their own lives.  He likes to joke that family game night and family movie night will be really boring  lol

That depends on the games you choose to play and the movies you watch, wink, wink... 

Arwyn 724 

Momofmenagerie
by on May. 7, 2013 at 11:17 AM
I don't plan on sharing the same intimacy with my boys as I do my husband and I don't want know the details of my husband Bm habits or help him when he pukes ( except pull out towels to give him if needed)

These are two different relationships. Apples to oranges.
Msgme
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2013 at 11:20 AM
1 mom liked this



Quoting Arwyn724:


Quoting Msgme:

why does there have to be a competition.  Why can't we love our kids and our spouses. I can't say i love my kids more or less than my husband because its a different kind of love.  My kids are my #1 priority but that doesnt mean dh is not a priority.  I can't wrap my head around that it has to be one over the other.  Every family is different. I'm mom first.  Dh is dad first.  We still have a rock solid marriage and foundation. We were together before kids,  we are now raising kids and we'll be together after the kids are gone.  we discuss this topic all the time. Whats it going to be like when the kids are  all gone and living their own lives.  He likes to joke that family game night and family movie night will be really boring  lol

That depends on the games you choose to play and the movies you watch, wink, wink... 

Very True!!!!!

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