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i raised her child & was abandoned

Posted by on May. 12, 2013 at 11:43 PM
  • 14 Replies
Hello all was looking for a place to vent & for advice. I been married to my husband for 16 years we date 2 and he came with a son he had full custody of. Now the child who is now 18 quit college & went to his mom who we haven't seen for 16 years never paid child support and never contacted him. He has totally cut us off
We have never spoke bad of her but he acts as if we were the ones who were never present
Has anyone else fone thru this. We have 2 Different household. My hisband and i both work. Bio mom is on welfare. We are a drug free houshold. She allows her teen daughter to smoke weed with her and i suspect.my son also.is there anyone else who has been thru something similar or have advice. I feel betrayed & stupidu
by on May. 12, 2013 at 11:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ditsyjo
by Gold Member on May. 12, 2013 at 11:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I know it hurts but he is probably just excited to finally have a relationship with her... hopefully he will figure out who really truely loves him before to long

RoseWall
by Platinum Member on May. 13, 2013 at 12:02 AM
1 mom liked this

hugs

frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on May. 13, 2013 at 12:32 AM
1 mom liked this

it sounds like teenage rebellion and he is feeling hurt, looking for that connection with biological mom.  She may allow him to do all sorts of things that you or husband would not approve of.   He is 18 now so technically he can make all these decisions and face the consequences of those choices.

funhappymom
by Silver Member on May. 13, 2013 at 9:44 AM
2 moms liked this

Sometimes, you just have to let them go and be willing to accept them back when they realize their error. It's hard but it's part of being a parent. You did your job and it sounds like you did a good job, so I'm sure he'll realize soon enough who does truly love him. (((HUGS)))


gammie
by on May. 13, 2013 at 10:03 AM
The ladies said it will above. He wants a relationship with his mom he will come back as soon as he "sees" who his mom really is. Unfortunately he may strike out at you guys to prove to his mom that he loves her try to be patient he's only doing this because he is confused he does love you and it's going to take time for him to see who his mom really is, you need to be patient and firm And just tell him you love him but he must respect both of you. My niece went through the same thing she lost her son when he was 12 years old to her ex it took six years for the boy to realize that his dad is a jerk he is finally left his father and his back with his mom having a good relationship but it did took years. Don't let him hurt you or Disrespect you this is very important, Even though he is 18 he may act out like a child it's going to a rough few years. I have another niece that went Through the same thing her son was gone for 1/2 a year. Kids just want a relationship with both parents. Yes it sucks because at the end the child always gets hurt when they realized their parent is no good.
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kansasmom1978
by on May. 13, 2013 at 11:00 AM

He's 18. Let him find out the hard way. My ss is 17 and has lived with us ever since his mom walked out 14 years ago. He says right now he hates his mom. But he is so irresponsible and hateful he can go

strawberryLVR
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2013 at 11:04 AM

I believe time tells the truth of all things. He will come around. I am so sorry!

MsMimna
by on May. 13, 2013 at 11:47 AM

All you can do is love him unconditionally and let him find out what she is like the hard way. Right now, it's all fun and parties....but sooner or later she will show her true side and he will she her for what she really is. He knows in his heart that she wasn't ever there....but the little boy in him is trying to find his mommy again. Trust me, I went through this with my daughter and her birth father.....after trying to have a relationship with him, she realized he wasn't who she dreamed he would be. He already had a life and didn't have room for her in it. Give it time and let him have the space to learn her true side. You raised him to know right from wrong, good from bad....have faith that you did the right thing. He may have fun for a little while and it's going to hurt you, but home is where the heart is and he knows you and dad Love him.

hugss
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by Ruby Member on May. 13, 2013 at 2:15 PM

Hugs to you hon,
Give him time to see what she is really like.
hang in there :)

bamababe1975
by Stephanie on May. 13, 2013 at 2:17 PM
1 mom liked this

 I'm so sorry you're dealing with that, but sometimes you just have to step out and let things go as they will. ((HUGS))


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