Hard Break Up, i mean really hard. Having trouble coping. wanna kill myself.
IDK what to do. I was with my boyfriend for 7 months and I loved him to the moon and back. We had two really bad weeks where we fought a lot and he just told me it didn't feel the same and it was over. I just dont understand. Like on Friday he sent me flowers and then Friday night he broke up with me. I just cant wrap my head around it. I have anxiety and depression and this through me into a complete tail spin. I have cried nonstop for 3 days. I have cried to the point of making myself sick. I have wanted to kill myself and have gone as far as to carry around a bottle on xanax with me so when I got the opportunity I could take it. My brother came and stayed with me bc of this and my mom is making me stay at her house and she locked up all my meds. I just really cant get over it and I took my xanax all day yesterday like every 4 hours and I still couldn't get it under control. I would fall asleep and then wake up crying again. IDK what to do and I sit here every minute thinking of a way I can get away and kill myself. I dont wanna feel like this anymore and I cant take it. I dont want to start the online dating thing aagin bc it's been so hard and I just cant even cope. The guys are way too eager and they are just turning me off. I just want him to come back and I keep texting him and he anwers sometimes but most of the time he doesn't and i dont understand how he can love me one minute and then be done the next. Im crying again posting this and I cant stop shaking. I have been thinking about checking into the hospital bc I just cant get it under control. Somebody help me please?? I feel alone and my family doesn't understand. They just keep telling me to focus on other things but I cant, I just cant this is all I think about and all I want to do is cry. HELP ME!