Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Dealing with the stepmom

Posted by on May. 13, 2013 at 6:39 PM
  • 39 Replies
I am a mother of 3 awesome boys. They are 6, 5 and 3 months. I have been separated from the father of my older two for about 2 1/2 years. He's getting married in a few months to a woman he's been dating for about a year and a half. She has a son who is 4. It's taken a lot of getting used to but her and I have been civil. At times I'd say we've even been friendly. She's good to my boys and that's what is most important.

We recently had a falling out because she decided to attend a mother's day program at my son's school even after I explained to my ex how upset that would make me. Am I wrong for feeling like that wasn't her place? I'm fine with her going to sporting events and school functions but this just seemed to cross a boundary for me.

In your opinion is this something that I should only address through the ex or would it be better to talk woman to woman?

Thanks in advance for any advice.
by on May. 13, 2013 at 6:39 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
URHonor
by on May. 13, 2013 at 6:40 PM
She crossed the line. I'd be pissed.
pregnantmama105
by on May. 13, 2013 at 6:41 PM

i would talk to her. then if she doesnt listen. talk to your ex.

PTBAAMom
by on May. 13, 2013 at 6:42 PM

 Did you go too? IF you didn't then I don't see anything wrong with it.

NDADanceMom
by on May. 13, 2013 at 6:42 PM
1 mom liked this
I would tell her that someday you may be comfortable with her going to Mother's Day events but she isn't even a step mom yet. For the sake of family harmony ask her to give you a few years before attending them.
PTBAAMom
by on May. 13, 2013 at 6:49 PM

BUMP!

jlm2676
by Gold Member on May. 13, 2013 at 6:49 PM
1 mom liked this
I would just explain why it hurt you that she went. Tell her that if you are not able to attend a Mother's Day thing then you would be happy that she could be there for your kids.

I would be upset too.
cocademom
by on May. 13, 2013 at 6:55 PM
I did go. I was caught completely off guard when she showed up but I wasn't going to make a scene at the school. This was my first mother's day program and I felt like it should have been mine to enjoy.
frndlyfn
by Emerald Member on May. 13, 2013 at 7:11 PM

I would have talked to her and explained that I would have liked to enjoy this as his mom.  What type of program was it?   We had a muffins for moms and any females involved with the child's life was welcome. She is the mother figure when they go over to dads house so she probably felt she was allowed to enjoy this as well.

Seychelles1409
by on May. 13, 2013 at 7:13 PM

only to the ex if you must, but really not at IMO.  Why make a big deal out of it?


cocademom
by on May. 13, 2013 at 7:24 PM
It was a kindergarten program where the kids sang songs for their moms. If it were for grandma's and aunts, etc I wouldn't have minded because I understand and accept the fact that she plays a role in my children's lives.


Quoting frndlyfn:

I would have talked to her and explained that I would have liked to enjoy this as his mom.  What type of program was it?   We had a muffins for moms and any females involved with the child's life was welcome. She is the mother figure when they go over to dads house so she probably felt she was allowed to enjoy this as well.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)