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How old is too old to put a child in the corner as a punishment/time out? My 13 yo dd lives with her father, step mom, 2 step brothers (8 & 6 years old) and a half sister (5 yo). Her SM punishes her for ridiculous things and the way she does it is to put her in the corner, then she gets mad when it doesn't affect my daughter at all. Also what's your view on putting dishsoap in a child's mouth? My dd will get frustrated with her sm and say something like "You're an a-hole" and her sm will put or try to put dishsoap in her mouth, actually cutting my dd's lip once because she wouldn't open her mouth. But the 8 yo can call his mom an a$$ or my dd a b*tch and nothing is said. They kind-of laugh it off. I would rather my dd father dealt with her discipline but I do understand that he has to work so he's not there all the time. But when something happens in the house, especially with my dd, his wife will call him and tell him what happened so he comes home already mad at her and doesn't bother to listen to her side. Or they will yell at her saying she acts just like me or has my attitude but wouldn't that be expected if I raised her by myself for the first 10 years of her life? Ugh, it's a horrible situation that idk how to fix.


Ok, ex was arrested in March 00 when dd was 5 months old. Spent about 10 yrs in prison, got out in July 09. Now, SM worked in one of the prisons that he was in and they started screwing around. She ended up pregnant and quit. So they have a 5 yo dd when he's only been out of prison for 4 years...anyway SM wasn't able to go see BF but I guess they wrote and maintained contact. NOBODY knew about her or their daughter, not even his mother. I allowed my dd to visit whenever his mother went, we agreed a long time ago not to keep her from the other. We have a decent friendship, until SM opens her mouth. Well when he got released, he barely spent any time with dd and that's all she wanted. She expected dad to come home and finally be a family but what happened is dad came home basically moved in with SM ended up marrying her Jan 10. So I feel my dd holds some resentment towards BF & SM. I think it's like they had their own family that she had to find a place to fit when it should've been the other way around since she was here first. My dd loves my dh, her sf, and looks at him like a father. Now the reason for custody is because in 2011 my dd wanted to go live with them b/c she was hoping that would help her spend more time with bf. Instead things got bad and she wanted to come home so bf didn't want the back and forth so we went to court to get it all in writing. She lived with me and went out there every other weekend and every sunday since that was/is is only full day off. He NEVER came and got her on a Sunday to just spend the day with her. They live 1 hr and 15 drive one way to their house. Now last April (2012) my dd sent out a cry for attention and cut herself a few times so he came and took emergency temporary custody of her. We discussed it and when we went to court to finalize it, I agreed to let her stay out there b/c she had made many friends, made honor roll at school, it just seemed like a great fit. Her emotional stability and happiness meant more to me than to have her with me going to a school where everyone was picking on her. The only thing she can't stand is her sm. Yes I feel sm picks on her sometimes since she is my dd and not hers. Even her paternal grandma has seen & heard the way they talk to her and tried to put a stop to it. I understand there are many sides to a story but I do tell my dd that sometimes she has to just deal with it, like the kids always around or bugging her. Like I told her, she has to pick her battles. Well of course now she wants to move back with me but the problem with that is I was terminated from my job Nov. 30 and my younger dd and I are living with my mom & grandma right now. I'm enrolled in school right now b/c that's what they want me to focus on. But I am thinking about going ahead and filing a petition to modify custody and parenting time and trying to get my dd voice heard about what goes on over there.

by on May. 17, 2013 at 5:31 AM
Replies (211-214):
by on May. 19, 2013 at 12:42 PM
1 mom liked this
My dh disciplines my kids. He is an adult. He provides and loves them more than the dad. In fact the kids are our kids. We don't use the word step.
by on May. 20, 2013 at 6:47 AM

This is bizzare.  The ex and newbie have no idea how to parent, and yes...I'd have custody/visitation arrangements looked at.

HOWEVER, mama, you don't know what your 13yo is actually behaving like when you're not around.

Hope you can get some help because you're about to have a beligerant teen who defies any authority if she can get the other parent to take her side.

Have you tried speaking with her?  I mean, intelligently (not accusatory) and allowing her to tell you why she acts-out over there?  She's NOT stupid.  She knows the rules and refuses to abide by them.  Every situation has different aspects of protocol, and maybe she's pushing the envelope when she's at the ex's house.

by on May. 20, 2013 at 7:01 AM
Really? The fuss about soap? If she is grown enough to curse why shouldn't she get a form of punishment? I would think soap is better than getting any future curse words knocked out of your vocabulary. I would think also with her living there the sm should be able to punish her so long as it's not literal abuse (I don't consider soap abuse. She's not making her ingest it) not blaming your DD but shedding light, if she used manipulation to live with dad she could also be exaggerating about the other kids as well. Seems like it's not all peachy as expected so she is ready to come home again.
by on May. 22, 2013 at 10:07 AM

Quoting SissyAnn141:


Mom Arrested for Washing Kid's Mouth With Soap

A Florida couple is behind bars for some old school discipline

By Todd Wright

| Wednesday, Oct 14, 2009 | Updated 9:43 AM EDT

View Comments (







Mom Arrested for Washing Kid's Mouth With Soap

Getty Images/Rubberball

A Palm Bay woman and her boyfriend were arrested Monday for child abuse after the couple went old school to punish their 8-year-old daughter for swearing.


Photos and Videos

Dirty Mouth

A Florida couple is arrested after washing a kid's mouth out with soap.

More Photos and Videos 

A Palm Bay woman and her boyfriend were arrested Monday for child abuse after the couple went old school to punish their 8-year-old daughter for swearing.

They washed her mouth out with soap.

We don't know about you, but we would petition President Obama and Congress to make it mandatory for every parent to carry a bar of Irish Spring in their back pockets with all the profanity kids use today.

Police claim Adriyanna Herdener and Wilfredo Rivera went too far by placing a bar of soap in the girl's mouth and letting it stay for 10 minutes. Herdener did not intervene in the discipline.

The girl eventually vomited and Rivera took her to the local hospital, where hospital staff called police.

No one wants a child to be hurt or inhumanely punished, but parents' discipline choices in this country have come down to calling Dr. Phil or hiding the joysticks to the Wii.

Next time your kid has a potty mouth, just give them some gum.

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