Advertisement
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club

Cousins proposed something that we never thought she would...WWYD?

Posted by on May. 19, 2013 at 10:37 AM
  • 9 Replies

My cousin (amy) is 20 yrs old...and lives with my aunt and uncle at the moment.

She is looking to come and live in the city that i do sometime in the summer, because she is going to go to the college here.

Which i am proud of her for..

The whole family got together last night for a BBQ and Amy approached me and said that she was wanting to talk to me and SO about something..an idea that she had that she had talked to her mom about and they thought it wouldn't hurt to ask.

My first reaction was ' honey , there isn't any room for you on my couch LOL' ...

Everyone laughed, said 'no thats not it' ...little did i know..i wasn't far off!

She goes on to tell me that she had seen a house for rent in my city, 3 bedroom $1000 for rent ,..and she was wondering if me and SO would be interested in renting it with her so they figured that it would be $500 for us and $500 for her...i of course told her that i needed to talk to SO about it and that i would get back to her. 

I know now , that i should have told her No right then and there ...i knew that i pretty much could guess SO's answer..but i always talk things out with SO..so i didn't want to just give an answer.

SO and I talked...

On the positive sides ...

1) It's a house! (we live in an apt) ..there would be a place for the kids to run out and play. 

2) we would be able to purchase a washer/dryer.

3) there would be more room for all of us.

4) we know she wouldn't mind babysitting IF she had nothing else to do..(me and SO hardly go out anyways)

The not so positives...

1) There are 4 of us in total (him, his son, me, my DD) so $500 isn't very fair now is it? We would end up having to pay $750 -$800 Not to mention, if something happens and she has to move we are stuck paying the full grand a month. (that's not within our budget)

2) He just moved into my place last month, we are looking to get a bigger place to fit all of us..however, we want 'OUR' first place...to be JUST ours. 

3) The cousin isn't very responsible..and SO would end up having to deal with her asking him to drive her here and there , because she isn't responsible about watching the time..(she does it now when we go up there for a visit)

4) We discussed about the cleaning around the house and mine and SO's routine fits us..and we seem to do a pretty good job at keeping the place tidy, Amy however..throws everything anywhere and doesn't do a good job cleaning lol..i have yet to really see her do dishes to think about it.

We have pretty much made our decision and will be telling her that we do not see it as a good idea ..and im hoping i don't hurt her or dissapoint her..

But just wondering would you tell her yes?





by on May. 19, 2013 at 10:37 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-9):
ScrChk23
by Amanda on May. 19, 2013 at 10:40 AM
1 mom liked this

 Thinking of the possibility that she may move and you cannot afford the $1000 a month, I would tell her that.  I personally would not be able to do it either.

i_lovedyoufirst
by Gold Member on May. 19, 2013 at 10:42 AM
For all the cons you listed,I wouldn't.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Mrs.Godfrey
by Member on May. 19, 2013 at 10:47 AM

if i didnt feel secure and comfortable with the arrangements... then absolutly not... i have been in a similar position and gave up my apt to stay with a friend who had just moved into a new house (she had built it with her fiance through habitat and humanity) and while she was in the hospital having their 2nd child he left her)she needed some  help and the house was plenty big enough.. the arrangement worked for us all until she got a new boyfriend... and then we were displaced and given 7 days to relocate.. in the winter in maine... it was not a good situation..

a06z08mama
by Silver Member on May. 19, 2013 at 10:52 AM
I would tell her your concerns and tell her no. She should be able to understand that. Also I wouldn't be comfortable with it. I would feel invaded.
Due9
by your-bff on May. 19, 2013 at 11:34 AM
1 mom liked this

I would say no because you have to think about your entire family and she is just one person. The CONS outweigh the benefits.

kitty8199
by Ruby Member on May. 19, 2013 at 11:41 AM
Not understanding con #1. If you agreed on splitting it 50/50, you shouldn't pay more.

I'd look at cost. If it's cheaper and you could save more money faster, I'd try a 6 month lease.

That way you aren't stuck( it's only 6 months) and you can see if it works.

The cleaning thing can be worked on. The ride thing can be addressed. None of the cons seem like they can't be fixed with one conversation.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Two_Hearts
by on May. 19, 2013 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this

1) we would never agree on 50/50..it's just not right, there would be 4 of us (technically 3..his son is weekend visits), and one of her. We would be monopolizing more of the house than she would, so why would we get her to pay half of the rent?

2) it wont be cheaper.

3) There is no such things as a 6 month lease here..and usually to rent a house its a years lease or more, they are very rarely a month to month lease here. (im in Canada by the way)

4)No..it really can't lol. She lives with 5 other people already...and she still doesn't pick up after herself lol. 

5) the ride thing...has been discussed with her, but by her own dad...it still doesn't help.

Its unfortunate...i would love to help her out , but there are just too many negatives going towards this situation already.

Quoting kitty8199:

Not understanding con #1. If you agreed on splitting it 50/50, you shouldn't pay more.

I'd look at cost. If it's cheaper and you could save more money faster, I'd try a 6 month lease.

That way you aren't stuck( it's only 6 months) and you can see if it works.

The cleaning thing can be worked on. The ride thing can be addressed. None of the cons seem like they can't be fixed with one conversation.


Two_Hearts
by on May. 19, 2013 at 6:07 PM

bump

WendyJR
by Gold Member on May. 19, 2013 at 6:36 PM
I would say no according to your pro con list.
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)