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Am I overreacting or? Eta and small update

Posted by on May. 19, 2013 at 11:43 PM
  • 60 Replies

 

Poll

Question: Would you be upset?

Options:

Yes

No

Other


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Total Votes: 73

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Dh says that I am overreacting to an email from his step-mother. The kids have always called her Grandma Judy since they have 3 sets of grandparents that they know. So they are all grandma first name, etc. Yesterday, my ds asked me to take a pic of him with the iPad. Then, he tried to email it to dh's step-mom by himself but he is 4 so he doesn't know her email address. I found it in my outbox and emailed it to her for him. She responded back nicely yesterday. Today, she responded again with," Too cute, tell him my name is Judy, not grandma,". 


A little back story might be helpful. Dd is the first grandchild of any type on all sides of the family. They have always shown a strong preference for her over him and he notices the difference. I refuse to tell him that he can no longer call her Grandma Judy but his sister can. I am not going to crush his spirit by confirming to him that they don't want him. He's the only male in his generation of our branch of dh's family to carry on the name and the bloodline. I don't want either of them treated as better than the other but, he should definitely be treated as equal to my dd. They can feel however they want but they aren't going to do this to him. Dh says to ignore it and thinks that it's no big deal. :| 


ETA

My kids are the only grandchildren in the family for dh's side. He is the only son. His dad and step-mom live in Florida so we don't have to see them often, thankfully. Now, his mom and step-dad, who also favor dd,  just moved back here. I already informed dh that, if dd goes on a sleepover, then ds must be taken the next time. I know that they are a lot together and his mom has a bad back but she should be just fine to have him by himself with the help of her husband. 


Small update 

Dh did ask her about it this am via email and she backpedaled and told him that she didn't mean it like that. She claims that she meant it for when he's trying to email her. Which is classic Judy. He couldn't look her up regardless because he isn't reading well enough and there is more than one Judy on my contact list. 

by on May. 19, 2013 at 11:43 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mjande4
by Silver Member on May. 19, 2013 at 11:45 PM

Your husband is right. Just ignore and move on.

momtoBrenna
by Silver Member on May. 19, 2013 at 11:48 PM
1 mom liked this

I will try to ignore it. I won't be telling him what she said. If she is that serious about it, she can tell him and deal with the fallout of being banished.

Quoting mjande4:

Your husband is right. Just ignore and move on.



GirlieGal76
by Bronze Member on May. 20, 2013 at 1:10 AM

How long has step-mom been in the picture?


momtoBrenna
by Silver Member on May. 20, 2013 at 1:13 AM


This is dh's step-mom to be sure that we're on the same page and she has been with dh's dad for over 30 years. 

Quoting GirlieGal76:

How long has step-mom been in the picture?




Goofygadget
by on May. 20, 2013 at 1:13 AM
1 mom liked this
I voted yes to the poll. I would be upset. The answer to your question in the post title is no. You aren't overreacting.

I think you should respect her wishes and have them BOTH refer to her simply as Judy. Your kids are then on the same field and she gets what she wants. As a plus, it might hurt her a bit too. Which I wouldn't normally go for IRL but she was willing to hurt DS.


I might be petty though.
momtoBrenna
by Silver Member on May. 20, 2013 at 1:16 AM

I am going to just ignore it. They only see her a few times a year as it is. She can suck it up. She has been with dh's dad for over 30 yrs and has always been Grandma Judy, I am not changing to to please her. 


Quoting Goofygadget:

I voted yes to the poll. I would be upset. The answer to your question in the post title is no. You aren't overreacting.

I think you should respect her wishes and have them BOTH refer to her simply as Judy. Your kids are then on the same field and she gets what she wants. As a plus, it might hurt her a bit too. Which I wouldn't normally go for IRL but she was willing to hurt DS.


I might be petty though.



To_the_moon
by on May. 20, 2013 at 1:17 AM
It might be overreacting and it might not be either way that's a bitch move on her part and I know I would be upset.
Goofygadget
by on May. 20, 2013 at 1:27 AM
Even though I still don't think you're wrong, letting it go is probably for the best.


Quoting momtoBrenna:

I am going to just ignore it. They only see her a few times a year as it is. She can suck it up. She has been with dh's dad for over 30 yrs and has always been Grandma Judy, I am not changing to to please her. 



Quoting Goofygadget:

I voted yes to the poll. I would be upset. The answer to your question in the post title is no. You aren't overreacting.



I think you should respect her wishes and have them BOTH refer to her simply as Judy. Your kids are then on the same field and she gets what she wants. As a plus, it might hurt her a bit too. Which I wouldn't normally go for IRL but she was willing to hurt DS.





I might be petty though.





PTBAAMom
by on May. 20, 2013 at 1:33 AM

 Why after 4 years of his life does she not wanting him to call her grandma?

Lil_Wolf
by on May. 20, 2013 at 1:51 AM

Yes, I would be upset. No, you're not overreacting. Hubs is underreacting. He should speak to her about how she treats his kids.

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