Am I overreacting or? Eta and small update
Question: Would you be upset?
Total Votes: 73
Dh says that I am overreacting to an email from his step-mother. The kids have always called her Grandma Judy since they have 3 sets of grandparents that they know. So they are all grandma first name, etc. Yesterday, my ds asked me to take a pic of him with the iPad. Then, he tried to email it to dh's step-mom by himself but he is 4 so he doesn't know her email address. I found it in my outbox and emailed it to her for him. She responded back nicely yesterday. Today, she responded again with," Too cute, tell him my name is Judy, not grandma,".
A little back story might be helpful. Dd is the first grandchild of any type on all sides of the family. They have always shown a strong preference for her over him and he notices the difference. I refuse to tell him that he can no longer call her Grandma Judy but his sister can. I am not going to crush his spirit by confirming to him that they don't want him. He's the only male in his generation of our branch of dh's family to carry on the name and the bloodline. I don't want either of them treated as better than the other but, he should definitely be treated as equal to my dd. They can feel however they want but they aren't going to do this to him. Dh says to ignore it and thinks that it's no big deal. :|
My kids are the only grandchildren in the family for dh's side. He is the only son. His dad and step-mom live in Florida so we don't have to see them often, thankfully. Now, his mom and step-dad, who also favor dd, just moved back here. I already informed dh that, if dd goes on a sleepover, then ds must be taken the next time. I know that they are a lot together and his mom has a bad back but she should be just fine to have him by himself with the help of her husband.
Dh did ask her about it this am via email and she backpedaled and told him that she didn't mean it like that. She claims that she meant it for when he's trying to email her. Which is classic Judy. He couldn't look her up regardless because he isn't reading well enough and there is more than one Judy on my contact list.