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Posted by on May. 20, 2013 at 6:57 PM
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Hi everyone, my name is Melissa. I am new here and waiting to be approved for the step parents group. I'm at my wits end with my step son and seeking advice......I have 5 of my own kids, my older 3 kids live on their own and my two daughers, 14 and 16 live with their dad because he stayed closer to their school. I will post my issue with my step son in that group as soon as I am accepted, as this is not the place for it. Just here to say HI!!



by on May. 20, 2013 at 6:57 PM
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by Sapphire Member on May. 20, 2013 at 7:03 PM

Welcome to CafeMom Melissa,
Sorry you're having problems with your stepson.
If this is not the group you applied for then this one may help too.
Nice to meet you :)

Join us in Stepmom Central

by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:16 PM

Hello Melissa, its very nice to meet you. Even though you are waiting for acceptance at another group, I hope that we see more of you in here.

Sorry to hear about the troubles that you are having with your stepson and hope that you are able to get some sound advice.

Again very nice to meet you.

by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:24 PM

hi &  welcome melissa!  thanks for sharing . Im sorry you're having a rough time wiht your step son.. feel free to talk here as well just because this is not a specific group for step parents doesn't mean you cna't reach out here.. this group is open to  everyone for anything! =)

by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:26 PM
You can post your issue here. A lot of us are step moms.
by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:29 PM

Welcome to the group.

by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:39 PM

I have 5 step children 4 are living.... And it is hard for me to think of them as step. I love their monther and they came from her so they are mine. Even the one that past I never met her and could not even imagine what her mother went through but since we are together I have also lost a child. Sorry just my little rant on the word "step. Not sure how we can help but we will be here when you need us.

by on May. 20, 2013 at 8:45 PM
Welcome to cafemom.

This is a very open group you can feel free to share here as well.
by on May. 21, 2013 at 7:47 AM
Thanks for the warm welcome everyone!
CelticGrl, sorry for your loss and I can understand the way you feel about the word "step" my brother growing us was my "half" brother, but we NEVER thought of him or referred to him that way.....I do understand.
In my situation, my stepson, David, had been coming to visit my husband, Mike, and I every other weekend and the entire month of August, two years prior to his moving in with us. He lived about 2 hours away, so more frequent visits were difficult. I enjoyed having David over, he told us that he lived coming to our home and expressed interest in being here full time. I went through a divorce in 2009. My eldest 3 kids are on their own, ages 23,21,19 and my two daughters ages 14,16 were given the choice of where to live and they chose their dad because 1) fit the first time in their lives, he was actually paying attention to them 2) they wanted to stay close to their friends and school. Mike and I live down the shore, about 1/2 hour from them. I talk to my kids frequently and get along we'll with all 5 of them.
Last May, David's mom and grandmother, whom he lived with told us they were moving....his mom was moving to New Hampshire and his grandmother to Florida. We knew that it was time to decide if David should come live with us or move with one of them. We asked him and he was very excited to come live with us. He moved in here last June and we had a nice summer. David was repeating the 7th grade. He claims the reason he hadn't passed was that his mom never helped him with his work or took him to get supplies. We did not know David to lie and my husband, knowing his mom, said he wasn't surprised because his mom was very lazy. We thought that with the proper structuring and help, David would do well here. We have an excellent school system, like nothing I've ever seen. There are no more than 20 kids in a class and there is an in class support teacher as well! My 5 kids had classes of 35-40 and one teacher! For the first 2 months of school, David was bringing he very little homework....we asked about it every night. He would come home announcing that he had finished his hw in study and showed us a few good test papers. By Thanksgiving, I told my husband that something didn't seem right and that he wasn't getting the workload of a 7th grader from my experience, so we reached out to the school. David was failing every class! We had a conference and spoke with him. He was very apologetic and promised us and the teachers he would work harder. We even signed him up for an after school assurance program 3 days a week. Here we are at the end of the year and he has done nothing but continue to fail. He is lying and on his way to repeating the 7th grade a second time. We have offered him all the help in the world. My 16 year old is an honor student and she has offered him help as well....David just comes home, detaches and either plays his guitar, on his iPod or when we take these things away, he just sleeps. We have had endless conversations with him and have taken away his privileges too....he's lost opportunities to go to see his favorite band play and new movies, but he still behaves this way.
I'm baffled because this is NOT the child that used to come visit and he is making this house very stressful, to the point that I've considered leaving. I know that sounds harsh, but I've been a mom since 19yrs old and was looking forward to a break by age 40. I have worked so hard and so tired.....I have been diagnosed with Fibromyalgia and for anyone who doesn't know, it's very painful and stress is THE WORST thing for it.....I left my job of 12 years because it was too physically demanding (12-14 days on joy feet) and am actively looking for another job. This added stress of a rebellious teenager, who really doesn't have any reason to rebel is driving me crazy! I haven't even gotten into his hygiene and's a mess and I hate to say it but, had I known this would be the case, I'd have let him move with his mom or grandmother. : /
by Amanda on May. 21, 2013 at 3:52 PM
Welcome to the group!
by on May. 21, 2013 at 4:45 PM
1 mom liked this

Hi, sorry you are having problems with your step kids, I know how hard that can be. Good luck, and stay around here, too, we're lots of fun, lol.

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