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afraid to be like his dad

Posted by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 10:19 AM
  • 2 Replies
My husband out of the blue the other day told me he doesn't love me like he used to and he is afraid of being like his dad. (His parents are going through a separation now and his dad always yelled etc which my husband is nothing like his father but has anxiety since our toddler was born). Anyway I want to make this work and I'm as strong as I can be. He's starting to talk to a doctor thank God (its about time!). I just wanted to see if others have gone through similar issues and maybe have some words of encouragement. Thank you.
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 10:19 AM
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jomami
by Bronze Member on Jun. 13, 2013 at 11:14 AM

I think it's normal and ok for people to change the way they love someone over time... as long as you still love each other and are committed to each other, things should be ok.  Many couples fall in and out of love over the years.  You should always love each other though and always want to help each other and want the other person to feel happy.  I don't think it was nice or necessary for your dh to tell you he doesn't love you the say way he once did. But, you can just tell him that's fine as long as he still loves you... Don't try to do all sorts of things to try and make him love you more, though. Be nice patient and understanding but don't let him walk all over you.

As far as not being like his dad, that can be a struggle.  I know a lot of women swear that they're not going to be like their moms but then end up saying or doing the things they swore they'd never do.

If he's determined not to yell then he should try to catch himself whenever he starts to go down that path and stop himself.  I know parents who were abused and don't want to abuse their kids do that.  They may feel the anger and rage and feel the instinct to yell and hit but they make a conscious effort not to do that.

I'm glad that he's getting help and talking to someone.  I wish you lots of patience and grace in dealing with this situation and hope your marriage grows stronger as you work through this together.

((hugs))

ChristineH1
by on Jun. 13, 2013 at 1:35 PM
1 mom liked this
Thank you!
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