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Custody battle :(

Posted by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:17 PM
  • 23 Replies

No one has to read this, but I'm a just astonished at how much crap the courts put you through during a custody modification.  Long story short, my ex isn't following joint custody.  He makes decisions and tells me about them AFTER they have been done (or without enough time/notice to do anything about it) he has moved to 4 different places in a year and half, with 2 different women, declared bankruptcy, is dating my son's daycare teacher, and has 4 jobs now.  Apparently he is never home with DS and his girlfriend watches him (per my son).  We have a week on week off schedule and its just not going to work when DS goes to elementary school next year since we live in different counties.  My ex refuses to let me have him go to school near me because it would make the schedule change (although schools in my county are in the top 100 of the USA), but since our consent order states DS needs to attend school in his county (we at one time lived in the same area) he is trying to make it so I give him primary or drive an hour both ways to take him to and from school on my weeks.  

Which is why we are going to modify the consent order.  Mediation is soon (which I offered to pay for months ago OUT OF POCKET in order to settle outside of court, and he said no he "won't agree unless a judge makes him")  which is just a waste of $400 because as I previously stated, he isn't going to agree.  Then we need to go back to court for a scheduling conference, then BACK to court for all the other stuff.   Ugh its so stressful that he didn't want anything to do with his son until I walked out that door.  Now hes superdad.  I cared for that child 24/7 up until we split, and even then I did most of the work.  I have to stand up there and tell a stranger why my child is better off with me?  Someone who has no idea who that little boy is?  Someone who doesn't know his favorite bedtime story, or color, or food.  Someone who doesn't know that he loves batman and hates peas.  Someone who only looks at my child as a 4 year old male.  Its infuriating, 

I just can't stand that apparently its OKAY to do this to the other parent.  Apparently I don't know how to raise that child that I have raised WITHOUT help from workoholic.  And don't get me started on the cost.  Its funny that someone can have 4 jobs and still not be able to pay child support so he lies about it.  Neat.  Well that's the end of my rant.   Moral of the story, I'm adbiding by the joint custody rules and trying to work with him, he's not.  Each time I try to work something out I'm told to go to court.  I'm so tired of it.  

by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:17 PM
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Replies (1-10):
dominic062407
by Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:22 PM
Well then. Time to fight for your life.
jmb2012
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:22 PM
This scares me I'm 9 weeks pregnant and having a baby with my ex he is just awful. I wish I could make it so he didn't have to be around at all I've already consulted with lawyers in fear of a very nasty custody battle!! Good luck!!
dominic062407
by Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:22 PM
Well then. Time to fight for your life.
tangerine_dream
by Bronze Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:24 PM

I just saw your post.  I don't want to scare you!!  Hopefully your ex is not such a baby like mine is. 

Quoting jmb2012:

This scares me I'm 9 weeks pregnant and having a baby with my ex he is just awful. I wish I could make it so he didn't have to be around at all I've already consulted with lawyers in fear of a very nasty custody battle!! Good luck!!


tangerine_dream
by Bronze Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:24 PM

That kinda...scares me.  Any helpful advice?

Quoting dominic062407:

Well then. Time to fight for your life.


jmb2012
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:26 PM
He's definitely a baby and the women he may bring around scares me!
tangerine_dream
by Bronze Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:31 PM

I'm glad someone agrees with me.  Most I ever get out of anyone who hears the story is "get over it".

Quoting jmb2012:

He's definitely a baby and the women he may bring around scares me!


jmb2012
by on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:34 PM
No its not fair that hard working more secure parent gets the short end of the stick. Good schools are so important then courts should understand that. Sometimes they just make no sense.
Willis_Mommie
by Silver Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:39 PM
i am in your shoes right now but cant say more than we are going to court soon and its gonna be nasty....i served my ex on Wen. and i have been called every name under the sun since then...and.i cant say much cause its a jury trial
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terpmama
by Gold Member on Jun. 14, 2013 at 2:40 PM

Document everything... Every time he's late or misses something or doesn't follow the court order... All communication needs to be via email/text. All need to be saved and printed. If you can show he's not willing to work with you then ou may have a leg up. Also research both schools and have that documented too.

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