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The CafeMom Newcomers Club The CafeMom Newcomers Club
My boyfriend and I are younger (21& 23) and are both first time parents. We currently live with roommates but the lease is up soon and will be getting our own place. I'm unemployed and he is working 2 jobs (70 hrs a week) to be able to financially support us. While I appreciate this very much, that's the only kind of support he is providing. We obviously don't talk much through the day- he leaves for work at 6:30 am and doesn't get home until a little after 9 pm. As soon as he gets home he wants to go to bed -understandable. But if I'm feeding (bfing) our LO and I ask him to get me a little something to eat he complains and complains about how tired he is -he complains longer than what it would take for him to just get the food. Also, he is so tired that we don't even hardly talk when he gets home. As for the weekend: he hates sitting at home doing nothing so during the weekend he just wants to be out and go to a friend's or have a friend come here or just go do something. And me and baby go with but I feel like he isn't considering how inconvenient it is for me to be in public all weekend when I have to bf the baby. I feel like he doesn't spend any family time with us and it hurts my feelings. But when I try to communicate like a mature adult couple should, and I try to tell him all of this, he gets mad and says, "Well I'm sorry I work all the time! I get no appreciation for how much I work and its all for you 2!" Or he asks me to quit nagging. Is it just me, or does this seem like a problem? Am I being too sensitive? What can I do for him to understand before it turns into a fight or before I have to have an emotional breakdown for him to know this is a serious issue for me.. ?
by on Jun. 17, 2013 at 11:01 PM
Replies (51-51):
mkhc-531
by on Jun. 21, 2013 at 2:26 PM
THANK YOU!!!!! A lot of these other moms took this post as me complaining about him not making me a sandwich. I'm like, really?... Try reading the rest! Lol. I feel like putting some time aside, especially on the weekend - specifically for the baby and me, is not too much for him to do. ...But oddly enough the day I posted this he came home and apologized for not spending as much time and stuff and being on edge all the time, and he agreed to spend all or most of the day Sat (tomorrow) with us and be just us 3 :)


Quoting GaleJ:

I will be glad to blame him! He is a partner and parent and he should consider himself lucky to be able to be home on the weekends or any other time with his child and partner. When one becomes a parent one must be willing to accept all the responsibilities that go with it and that includes not just the financial support but the emotional and physical support as well. Yes he's working a lot of hours but mothers, especially breastfeeding ones, who must make themselves available to baby 24/7/365 never get to "punch out" and need and deserve help as well as company.




Quoting Dzyre1115:

 You can't have it both ways, you can't have a man that works that much and still have to come home and do what you should be doing yourself and his idea of down time is not staring at you breastfeeding a baby.  His life consists of work and sleep, so if he wants to be with his friends on the weekend, who can blame him?



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