My First Post - Mind If I Vent?
Hey ladies! I've been on CafeMom for about a week now. I've commented and tweaked my profile and now I'm needing the clear out my head. Hope you don't mind!
The back-story here: I have 16.5 year old daughter. She's a great kid. Her bio dad has never been in the picture, however he and I communicate irregularly regarding things like his child support and his obligation to her with medical insurance, etc. We haven't been to court in years because our relationship (however dysfunctional it can be at times) works. I do my best to leave him alone as he is now married with 3 kids and who wants to be "that woman", right? Honestly, it's not even worth my time or energy to interfere in his life. Anyway, he and my daughter have corresponded minimally on Facebook over the past few years (minimally on his part, he doesn't know how to have a relationship with her, probably because he's lapsed for 16+ years and is too ashamed of himself to just set it right), and he and I are even friends on FB. Needless to say, the time has come for my daughter to start driver's ed. He and I have had discussions MONTHS ago about this coming up and what I need from him financially. He heartily agreed to work with me at all costs to stay out of court, because in his words, "the court makes you fee like a degenerate". Hey, if the shoe fits.... About a month ago, I got tired of his side stepping, avoiding my texts/calls and I set down a deadline. I needed $250 (half of the $500+ for driver's ed) by 6/15 or else I'd just see him in court to hash it out. He doesn't respond well to threats of court and usually that lights a fire under his behind and he complies. So, here we are 6/18 and wouldn't you know it, no money has come my way. Not even an explanation about it, which I would have been OK with. Hey, I'm not a ball busting witch! I shot him a text last night asking him to give me 10 minutes at some point this week to discuss things. He decides to call me this afternoon to hash it all and confronts me as if I have an attitude (I did not). He proceeds to give me a hard time because he doesn't have extra cash laying around, yada yada yada. I need to mention that as I have seen his Facebook posts over the past year, he has purchased a Jeep Wrangler to tool around in, on top of the vehicles he already has. He has renovated his kitchen and all of his kids at home have been involved in non stop sports, all while he cries to me that his wife has been out of work for over a year and he can't afford anything. I called BS on all of it, told him how I knew of his remodeling and his Jeep purchase and he handed me more excuses about how he paid for that with an inheritance. Is he an complete idiot? Am I wrong for suggesting that if he got an inheritance, it wasn't too much to toss me $250 for his daughter that I raise and leave him alone in the meantime? On top of that I reiterated that if he couldn't come up with the lump payment, he could just call me and pay me over time. I'm just fed up with having to teach a 41 year old "man" how to manage his obligations and communicate! Thankfully, he did calm down and he agreed to send me sporadic payments and communicate (we shall see) and then decided to revisit our dating years (which ended a month before my daughter was born almost 17 years ago because he couldn't get his stuff together). *GAG*
So, I don't feel like I'm being a jerk and asking for too much but figured the venting would only help me feel better and toss it out there to see what the public has to say!
Thanks for letting me blow off some steam! =)